Dear Debi...

[Tryingsohard]

Dear Debi,
...wonder how you expect to beat this thing when you really aren't doing the work necessary??? How long are you going to keep going around the same bush chasing a dream that you aren't showing with actions that you really want? What is it that you're thinking when you just eat what you want without regard to how it's going to affect you? What is this game you're playing? Wasn't surgery enough to get you serious?

[MoOrLess]

Dear Debi,

If it is any consolation, surgery itself doesn't change our habits. It takes TIME and education and more time. Please don't beat yourself up, just make your next meal healthier. Get the bad foods out of the house and give yourself one treat day where you eat something that you don't always have. And most of all, no negative talk! Come here and get all the encouragement, advice, and ideas you need and want. We are here for you!

(very sincerely)
Mo

[PhotoNut]

Dear Debi,

Our weight loss journeys are comprised of many paths, and each day we rise to make choices about which path we will follow. While our choice at the beginning of the day may have been one that is clearly defined by our goals, we often encounter unexpected detours that bring us to the end of the day wondering how in the world we got so lost - again. It's only a matter of time before we lose heart and sit down in frustration, confused over how we have traveled so far and yet we have made little or no progress.

In these times we are faced with one of the hardest, and yet most rewarding, paths to choose. This is the path that forces us to stop worrying about the numbers on the scales and look inward to the root of the maladaptive behaviors that are sabotaging our journeys. This is a path that we cannot travel alone, for our perspective is distorted by old habits and addictions which will lead us off of the path and right back to where we started, feeling like failures. However, with the right "guides" we find that this path may have some difficult spots but for the most part it is filled with very rewarding and exciting parts.

Contact your surgeon and have a frank and honest discussion about where you are on your journey. Perhaps he/she can suggest, or refer you to, a counselor or support group. Also, understanding what struggles you are facing might help your doctor make adjustments to your band that can offer more physical support while you deal with the emotional side of your journey.

And, of course, we are all here to encourage and support you in any way that we can. You are not alone on your journey, nor are you alone in the frustrations that you are experiencing. Many of us have been there, or are there now.

Remember, Debi, this isn't all about losing weight. It's about becoming healthy -- mentally and physically.

*hugs*

[Tryingsohard]

Dear Debi,
...how to get to the root of the behaviors that sabotage the journey REALLY IS the issue. Now, figuring out how to do that... It sounds pretty simple...like Pooh bear says, you must "think, think, think"... <time passes>
Ok, for instance...right this very second, I have just finished eating a healthy dinner. I am NOT hungry AT ALL, yet, my mind is surveying the entire house for pockets of goodies. It thinks...hmmm, are there anymore chocolate eggs left over in the bottom of the Easter baskets that have been put away in the basement? Are there any chocolate discs, or left over apple pie in the freezer int he basement? Wonder if my husband's drawers hold any hidden goodies that I could sneak? So, I have to ask myself why? Why am I wanting to eat yummy junk? I've had a pretty great day of eating healthy. This would ruin it. So far, I'm planted in my seat on this computer. But, I really would love to be able to figure out why my mind wanders to all things unhealthy (hahaha). Choices, it all boils down to choices.

[Live4Us]

YOU CAN DO IT!!! Hang in there...I know it seems like you won't make it...but you will!! When you finally get banded and get to go shopping for new pants because your old ones don't fit...you'll be soooo happy! There's nothing like that feeling--well worth it!

- Your words...not mine...my advice, take your own advice :-) and yes it is worth it! :-) Most of us lose track - you will find your way back...

[art]

Dear Debi, we all lose our way at times. If we didn't there would be no need for places like Weight Watchers, Jenny Craig, psychiatrists, policemen, lawyers etc. Just don't give up. Your band is there to help and support you. Give it a chance. I too have my mind working against me. My trigger is when my wife leaves the house in the morning and I am left alone. It's like a light gets turned off and I am thinking what is in the house for me to eat. It has been a disaster at times but then I get back on that wagon and turn trhat lioght back on. I am hoping my brain catches up with my stomach and I can relax a bit. My band is at the right amount now (7 fills) that it tells me very quickly that I am full so the weight is coming off easier now and I am holding not going up each day like I was prior to the last fill or two. Keep your head up and stick with the plan. Remember, if you don't have a goal you'll never know when you get there.
Art

[PhotoNut]

But, I really would love to be able to figure out why my mind wanders to all things unhealthy (hahaha).

In one word... ADDICTION.

The best physical action is long-term separation. I was once a smoker. When I quit it was all I could think about. The cravings drove me insane. I was cranky, to say the least. But over time the cravings lessened, and the anxiety over the separation eased. Had I smoked a cigarette during that time, I would have failed because I would have been feeding the addiction and prolonging the cravings. I believe that is why most people who try to gradually give up smoking, alcohol, or drugs... fail. When we put the <insert drug of choice> into our bodies, we flip on the craving switch, which perpetuates the addiction.

Treat this like rehab. Get all things that contain sugar, flour, corn, or potatoes out of your house. It's slowing killing others in the family too, so don't think it's "unfair" to them.

Will it be easy? No. Will you struggle? Yes. Will it get easier over time? YES! Will it be rewarding? Oh my yes... both physically and emotionally.

[PhotoNut]

By the way... it's been about 8 years since I last quit smoking. Now and then I miss it. Occassionally, I'll be stupid and smoke with a friend - only when I've been drinking and have lost all sense of reason and intelligence tho, and thank goodness I suffer for it the next day. *rolling eyes at my self* It's a life long battle, no matter what the drug of choice. But it does become managable, as long as we maintain the separation. We cannot separate ourselves from food, but we CAN separate ourselves from sugar, flour, corn and potatoes. There are plenty of wonderful foods to enjoy without those.

[brelee85]

reading this thread has helped me out tremendously. i thought i was alone.....