gregken77
09-29-2009, 07:30 AM
Hello everyone!
I hope you dont mind if I share my thoughts with you today. I guess I might sound like I am just rambling on here but please bare with me.
Ive been on a liquid diet now for 6 days and I guess not having to eat and spending alot of time thinking about this up coming surgery of mine has set my brain to work. Im to be banded on thursday---Oct 1st. Well to start with I get a call from my doctors office in mexico telling me that the AP-lapband that I suggested was not going to be available until next week and could I just drop all my plans that were made now 6 months in advance and change them till next week. Yeah thats what I was thinking myself! WTH Anyway the good news is the bands have finally arrived and everything is set now. (thanks Photo-nut) She knows what I am talking about. Anyway So I had this pressure for 6 hours yesterday. Then yesterday evening I got a call from a wonderful wonderful woman named Kathryn who had just recently went to mexico and had surgery with my doctor. We talked last night for about 15-20 minutes and what a great help it was to hear all about the process she went through having surgery and all. I know exactly what to expect and do not have any fears of the unknown anymore. Thank you Kathryn. This is what this board is all about I believe. I think everyone here is very helpful and if your on here for the first time then please feel free to ask away. Your questions will get answered. Ok so lets get to my point! What is my point? Well not sure really! ha ha Let me give you some history. I got married years ago for the first time to a beautiful woman who I loved with all of my heart. I was 21 and she was 25. We grew up together and went to the same church. Our parents still attend that same church. Anyway we get married after I get out of the Army and are married only a few months it seems when she gets pregnant. Long story short there was an argument, she left and went home to momma's and then decided she had made a mistake marrying me I guess cause that was it. Our marriage was over. No questions ask! I was devistated and it broke my heart so badly. I spent the next five years trying to ask her to come back, begging for her forgiveness and making a complete fool of myself. Oh well I dont care. I loved her and I wanted her back. I prayed and fasted and prayed and ----you get the ideal. Anyway so I lost my wife, never got to see my first son being born, didnt get to name him, and all of this really bad stuff happened to me. Ok flash to the future. I had a dream last night and in the dream I was there again with Stephanie. I was trying so hard to get her to come back to me and there she was again rejecting me. And I woke up and I realized something about myself--I had a revelation if you will about my eating. I am an emotional eater. I never knew this about myself. See I woke up after that dream and it being so real and I felt all that old hurt I have not felt in years come rushing back in. I wanted to break my liquid diet was my first thought and thats when it all hit me. I am an emotional eater but that only happens with the really tough things in my life. Not every little worry or problem. Please dont misunderstand this post. I am remarried now and there is no unresolved baggage. I have forgiven her of everything and I am not still in love with my exwife. Lord I could never let Maritess read this post. She would assume I still held feelings for Stephanie. Granted there will always still be some love for her there because I can see some of her in our son and I will always love my son. Maritess was a gift from God to me. I truely believe this and its not just a saying I came up with. I believe when Stephanie decided to divorce me that the Lord gave me someone to replace her. Believe me I am a lucky man today. So I guess through all of the stress yesterday and the different emotions I have been going through with the up coming surgery it triggered the dream last night. I dont know. I have not thought of her in years. Weird huh---I relate hurt and pain still to my ex wife. Is there a shrink in the house? Kidding-----Anyway so I figured this out about my eating and I guess I am making this post to tell everyone that if you are over weight its important to find out what triggers your eating. Walk slowly through this experience with eyes wide open. Understand what I mean by that? I hope so. Anyway hope you didnt mind my ramblings. Maby this helped someone.
I hope you dont mind if I share my thoughts with you today. I guess I might sound like I am just rambling on here but please bare with me.
Ive been on a liquid diet now for 6 days and I guess not having to eat and spending alot of time thinking about this up coming surgery of mine has set my brain to work. Im to be banded on thursday---Oct 1st. Well to start with I get a call from my doctors office in mexico telling me that the AP-lapband that I suggested was not going to be available until next week and could I just drop all my plans that were made now 6 months in advance and change them till next week. Yeah thats what I was thinking myself! WTH Anyway the good news is the bands have finally arrived and everything is set now. (thanks Photo-nut) She knows what I am talking about. Anyway So I had this pressure for 6 hours yesterday. Then yesterday evening I got a call from a wonderful wonderful woman named Kathryn who had just recently went to mexico and had surgery with my doctor. We talked last night for about 15-20 minutes and what a great help it was to hear all about the process she went through having surgery and all. I know exactly what to expect and do not have any fears of the unknown anymore. Thank you Kathryn. This is what this board is all about I believe. I think everyone here is very helpful and if your on here for the first time then please feel free to ask away. Your questions will get answered. Ok so lets get to my point! What is my point? Well not sure really! ha ha Let me give you some history. I got married years ago for the first time to a beautiful woman who I loved with all of my heart. I was 21 and she was 25. We grew up together and went to the same church. Our parents still attend that same church. Anyway we get married after I get out of the Army and are married only a few months it seems when she gets pregnant. Long story short there was an argument, she left and went home to momma's and then decided she had made a mistake marrying me I guess cause that was it. Our marriage was over. No questions ask! I was devistated and it broke my heart so badly. I spent the next five years trying to ask her to come back, begging for her forgiveness and making a complete fool of myself. Oh well I dont care. I loved her and I wanted her back. I prayed and fasted and prayed and ----you get the ideal. Anyway so I lost my wife, never got to see my first son being born, didnt get to name him, and all of this really bad stuff happened to me. Ok flash to the future. I had a dream last night and in the dream I was there again with Stephanie. I was trying so hard to get her to come back to me and there she was again rejecting me. And I woke up and I realized something about myself--I had a revelation if you will about my eating. I am an emotional eater. I never knew this about myself. See I woke up after that dream and it being so real and I felt all that old hurt I have not felt in years come rushing back in. I wanted to break my liquid diet was my first thought and thats when it all hit me. I am an emotional eater but that only happens with the really tough things in my life. Not every little worry or problem. Please dont misunderstand this post. I am remarried now and there is no unresolved baggage. I have forgiven her of everything and I am not still in love with my exwife. Lord I could never let Maritess read this post. She would assume I still held feelings for Stephanie. Granted there will always still be some love for her there because I can see some of her in our son and I will always love my son. Maritess was a gift from God to me. I truely believe this and its not just a saying I came up with. I believe when Stephanie decided to divorce me that the Lord gave me someone to replace her. Believe me I am a lucky man today. So I guess through all of the stress yesterday and the different emotions I have been going through with the up coming surgery it triggered the dream last night. I dont know. I have not thought of her in years. Weird huh---I relate hurt and pain still to my ex wife. Is there a shrink in the house? Kidding-----Anyway so I figured this out about my eating and I guess I am making this post to tell everyone that if you are over weight its important to find out what triggers your eating. Walk slowly through this experience with eyes wide open. Understand what I mean by that? I hope so. Anyway hope you didnt mind my ramblings. Maby this helped someone.