Stay at home mom, how long will I need help?

[Jennifer]

I am a stay at home mom and my hubby travels. How long do any "experienced bandsters" think I will need help with my kids after my surgery? I have a 6 year old, a 5 year old and a 2 year old.

Help, surgery is Wednesday!!:eek:

[Tricia K.]

My suggestion would be to have help around for at least 1 week.

How much does your 2 year old weigh? The reason I ask is that my surgeon recommended that I not lift more than 20 pounds for the first month. I'm assuming that your 2 year old is walking but I know that a lot of moms still carry their 2 year olds around at times.

I would also recommend against a lot of bending during the first 2 weeks. If you need something off the floor, squat down rather than bend at the waist. You'll understand why the first time you do so.

[Jachut]

Eliza was 2 when I had my surgery, she had her normal daycare routine of 3 days per week, and she went to my mum's for a day in between - so all up, she was out of the house for 3 days in a row - plus I came home from the hospital on a Saturday morning so Doug was there for the weekend. So I went probably 5 days without having to care for her on my own at all and even when I did, my boys were 10 and 8 so well able to help me. But I was physically fine within a day or two of the surgery, I didnt lift her, but I could have had I needed to.

[M_Montes]

I have 3 boys and I needed no help after surgery. Everyone is different. I was walking around downtown TJ shopping the very next day after surgery.

[Kathy]

I needed help after surgery. My suregery was Friday, I was home from TJ Sat night and hubby went back to work on Monday.

My kids were just over 2 and 6 when I had my surgery. My 6yo was in Kindergarten, and I needed someone to get her to and from school. I was at home with my 2yo son, and he was still in diapers and a crib. Before I left, I taught him to climb into the crib with my help, and to climb onto the daiper table with my help. We might have been fine the rest of the week, but...

I just couldn't get it together. My band was so tight I was having trouble drinking and went to the hospital 1 week post-op for IV fluids. I was exhausted and miserable, and needed to be "off the hook" with my kids. My Dad was able to stay with me during the day week 2, and after that, I was fine on my own. I might have been fine, physically, had I been able to get some liquid nutrition in me.

My first 2 weeks were terrible, but only because I couldn't stay hydrated and nourished.

I would get help through the weekend, and chances are you'll be fine, just slow, on Monday. Have a back-up plan though, even if you probably won't need it! Good luck! Keep us posted.

[Jennifer]

Thanks girls for such quick replies! My two year weighs about 30 lbs so I'll make sure to have help around.

I'm really excited but pretty nervous about the whole thing too. I look forward to sharing my journey on this site, it seems pretty helpful!

Jennifer

[503-250]

Everyone is different, I was fine the next morning (except for a bumpy car ride home). I also know other people had a week before they felt better.

Get help, always better to have it and not need it then need it and not have it.

Best wishes!

btw...my post surgical list is simple...comfy slippers with good traction and a comfy robe so yer butt aint hangin out.
The comment about the car ride reminded me, I forgot to bring a pillow with me, which they recommended. So, bring a pillow, hold it against your belly with your arms over it on the way home in the car.

[Jennifer]

503 - Thanks for the tips...they are truly appreciated! I wouldn't have thought to bring a pillow or my robe.

[503-250]

Another weird suggestion which I remembered last night. My roomate (nice old guy but had severe dementia) was yammering all night about crazy stuff. I was so pissed all night that I didn't bring my iPod. You can put on some headphones with some soothing music and drown out the hospital.

[Jennifer]

Your soooo awesome! That's a wonderful idea...I'll definitely be bring the ipod!

[jacelogic]

Congrats on becoming banded. I too have a 3 year old. Was banded on Monday and home from TJ on Wed. It is different for everyone. I suggest about 1 to 2 weeks of help. After that you will be fine. Good luck and God Bless!

[mrs_christy]

I dont have really small kids, but if I did I would agree with Tricia on help for about a week. That way, you can focus on recovering and not on entertaining the kids. You wont regret the time to recover I promise! Good luck and congrats on being banded TOMORROW!!! :dance:

[PhotoNut]

Hi Jen! I've been busy and not able to keep up with all of the boards lately, but I ran across this one and wanted to send you best wishes for tomorrow! It looks like everyone has offered great advice. We have a super group of people here, don't we? If you haven't already seen it, you might also have a look at the list of suggested things to have on hand in this thread: http://band2gether.net/showthread.php?t=37

See ya when you get home! I'll be thinking about ya!

[Jennifer]

Thanks again guys! You are so helpful:hug: I'm so glad I found this site... I'll be back on with a new stomach at the end of the week!!

[Kathy]

Happy Banding Jennifer! Tomorrow is gonna be a great day. Yay you!

[Goannabanda]

Wishing you an easy ride Jennifer! Nice to meet you too!

In answer to your question - I was banded on a Thursday, home on Saturday. Hubby kept my 5yo busy over the weekend, and my mum stayed with me for a few hours each day, for company more than anything else. Hubby went away for the work the next week. Son went to kinder / day care for Mon to Wed. I had parents / in-laws comming in the mornings & evenings to help with caring for him and taking him where he had to go. I did need the help - I was ill for the first week, mainly due to dehydration and low blood pressure, and couldn't do much. Then my son got ill in the second half of the week, and I needed help to look after him then.

Here's my hot tip: If you have young kids, and your dearly beloved other half will be out of town, I recommend that you organise (if you can) to have another adult in the house, or at least on call for you, overnight during the first week.

Sorry this story's a bit gross, but I hope that the experience helps someone to make their recovery plans: With my hubby out of town, and my son throwing up in the middle of the night, it wasn't much fun. Poor kid - it had been so long since he'd been sick, and he's still so young, that he didn't know just to head for his toilet and yell out for help! At 2am he threw up on the brand new carpet, from my bedroom door, in a trail right around to my side of our bed. I couldn't bend down to clean it up, and it HURT! It took me over an hour crawling on all fours to clean it. He did it again at 5am, right across the living room floor. At least that was a vinyl floor and easier to clean up. I got told off by family for not calling and waking them up (I felt guilty waking them!). Yet another lesson with little kids that one should always expect the unexpected!

[Jachut]

Wow, we had gastro in the house a week after I got home too. I've never been so terrified, all I could picture was throwing up and ripping my band loose. I didnt touch ANYTHING, all though all 4 of them were hucking their way all over the house. Doug cleaned it all up, did all the washing etc and I just followed round with a can of Glen 20. In fact we used six cans of the stuff in a week! I still got it though, but thankfully I had gone to the doc for a script for some anti emetics, and I had all the symptoms but not the nausea or vomiting.

You're lucky Anna that you didnt get it, especially having to be the one to clean up!

[Goannabanda]

Yeah, I am thanking my lucky stars. Your story is way more scary. I had the rubber gloves, used a whole roll of loo roll (for the big bits), a whole roll of kitchen towel (for the carpet cleaner), and nuked the rooms with about 1/2 can of Glen 20. LOL!

As an aside - do you find that you stay away from food courts / bain maries even more now, for the risk of gastro. When I was preg I avoided them like the plague, now I am banded, I find I am doing that again too. Way to scared of throwing up again. It was too scary in the hosptial, and they had the anti emetic into my arm in about a minute flat!

[Kathy]

It's Thursday...how'd it go Jennifer?! Looking forward to an update. :)

[Jachut]

Yes I do Anna, definitely!

What really gets on my nerves is the kids are always saying "i feel siiiiiick". They dont describe symptoms well so even if its a cold they say they feel sick in the stomach and if you say "do you think you might vomit" they nod miserably.

So I spend half my life convincing myself I'm nauseous! I just obsess over it until its completely clear that I'm not going to become ill.

I'm not like that with anything else, only gastro. Lord knows how I'm going to cope being a teacher - those first few years will be awful for sickness I'm imagining, although I'm really hoping after having done the whole 3 kids, daycare and school scenario myself I'll have a good immunity!

[Goannabanda]

Hope you do too Jacqui.

Jennifer - sorry to have hijacked your thread. How was your surgery? Hope that you are doing fine. The first few days are the worst. How is the recovery going for you? I hope that you have plenty of help around over this weekend!

[Jennifer]

I'm hooome! Speaking of tossing your cookies...I couldn't go home until this morning because I couldn't keep anything down! I am feeling a ton beter though.

I thought my port was a blood clot. The dr. got a kick out of that. I thought the port would be closer to the port incision.

That's really it, I had a horrible roommate who went on and on about me "not needing this cosmetic surgery" and she needed surgery they wouldn't give her. Needless to say, I asked to be moved and they obliged!

Now, I'll need you guys more than ever as my journey begins. Can't wait to get to know you!

[503-250]

WOOHOOOO WELCOME BACK!

I'm glad to hear things are going well now...sorry to hear about cookie tossing, noisy roomates and blood clot ports...LOL.

My big scare moment was about a month in, I noticed the port was not near the incision anymore...I FREAKED I thought I had torn it free or something. I could have gone without the PA laughing at me when I called, but it was refreshing to learn I was just nuts.

[Goannabanda]

Welcome back Jennifer! You've had a fairly whacky adventure to start with! Great to hear you're doing well, even with that big blood clot going on there! LOL!! Good luck from here on in!

[meme]

After day four I was cooking and some lite cleaning.