): Stress going into it :(

[Azuredreams]

I started my 10 day diet today and Im so ready just to give in and give up, I quit smoking about 90 days ago and I want a cigarette more then ever and it has absolutly nothing to do with being hungery or even the diet.

So much has happend in the last two month for my family, starting out with a huge fire storm ripping across Oklahoma and burning down two of my family's properties (aunts, and cousins) then a week after that my father colapse and tragicly warps my mind (cause i thought he was dying infront of me) My sister had ankle surgery yesterday and then to top it off, My mom got rushed to the ER by the abulance in total pain and they end up doing emergency surgery at midnight because her colon ruptured and has been infecting her body for the last 4 days.... She already has heart problems and is on O2 and now is on a ventalator untill atleast monday. So im trying to take care of my dad who... who knows if he will get stressed out and his blood presure to drop and put him in there with her... and Im pushing my sister in a wheel chair who is doped up on pain meds in to see mom who is in ICU and critical condition.

AHHHHHHHHHH :hurt: uggggg

It just seems like everything in the world is falling apart and there is nothing I can do to fix anything.

For right now I am sticking to the diet.... staying on top of things... It gives me something else to think about durring the day instead of the 50 million things going wrong right now.

I need a big fat puppy to lick my face and love on me for an hour and I might feel better.

Actually I found out that blogging is one of my best coping skills and I have been spending long moments at night writing all my thoughts and facts down for all my friends to see.

[remmi]

Go outside, go for a walk. Find a little league game and laugh at the little ones trying to play 'real ball'. Go to a store and find a shirt or pants you want to wear in a few months. Buy it and hang it on the closet door to remind yourself that you are doing this for a reason! Stay strong!! Do whatever it takes but stay strong. You are almost there!

[PattiDi07]

So sorry about all of that! Jeez... there's no where to go but up, right? ;) How is everyone doing now? Hopefully on the roads to recovery. Hang in there. And I'm glad you wrote on here about it. Stress is a powerful thing, and I know for me, I react to it by eating.... well, I used to react to it by eating. So I, like you, have to find other ways to let it out, and I am finding, like you, that writing is a great way to do that! We're here for ya!

[Azuredreams]

Things are eh.. thats about the only semi word to say LOL,

Mon is still in the ICU still on a ventalator. She is doing semi better but the doctors keep telling us that its kinda a balancing beam type thing.. she might be doing good right now,.... but things might take a turn for the worst.

I was suppost to start my 10 day diet Friday.... I did good Friday. Saturday and today I basicly blew it, not cause I couldnt do it... but to eat and drink everything on thier list needs kinda a schedual and that is something I dont have yet.

Im going back on it tomorrow. and Im stilling to it.. I kinda have to ya know.

[christie]

Go find the puppy. While I was reading your post, I kept thinking "you need to make sure you're as healthy as possible to better help you deal with these demands and your stress level." Smoking won't help that. A puppy licking your face might. But taking off excess weight and getting yourself in a better healthy place will definitely help you and then you will be better able to function and help everyone else. Good luck. Take care and stay strong!!!!

[Want_2_B_Free]

Hey kin folk-LOL. Sorry you have so much going on right now. Try to squeeze in a little you time. Even if it's just sitting in the car and taking some deep breaths for 10 minutes to gather your thoughts. Stay focused.

[503-250]

I need a big fat puppy to lick my face and love on me for an hour and I might feel better.

OK....i'm on my way, but I need an address.

[Azuredreams]

OK....i'm on my way, but I need an address.


:eyerub: LOL OOOOHHH you flirt!!!!!:neener:

[Azuredreams]

Things are doing semi better on my part of the world... They took my mom off the ventalator yesterday and she was awake enough to talk and ask questions... SO FAR SO GOOD.

My family has had ALOT of close calls with infection, it seems like we have major surgerys and we get threw them just fine.... but then infection sets in and its even scaryier then the surgery it self. Infact for my upcoming surgery im more scared about infection then I am about the pain.
When I had back surgery I ended up getting a bad infection and ended up spending a week in the hospital and then a month on home health with a giant wound. uggg
I have been takin my vitamins and my vitamin C... Someone else mentioned that I might take a few doses of Alow Vera juice a couple days before surgery,
Im thinking that I might also go to Jamba Juice and put back a few Wheat Grass shots. Just to pump up my immune system.

As for the pre-band diet... Im not doing so great..... Well I guess 50/50 Im drinking all my protein shakes and doing my protein bars but when it says to eat 2oz of chicken or tuna followed by 1/2 a cup if steamed veggies im eatting more then 2oz....... Not a whole lot more.... maybe like 5oz.... I hope that this doesnt mess everything up. Im just stressed and my schedule is WAY off and .... excuse... excuse... excuse...

I do however plan to get back on track... I kinda have to my surgery is next tuesday.

[rgoodyz]

the pre op phase scared me too! i was worried the surgeon would 'know' every bad decision i made in the previous 10 days.

here is what helped me....every morning i told myself, this is just for today, i can do it for today....heck, some days i'm still telling myself that and it has been over 3 months!

you can do this....you know you want to, don't let the fear of success hold you back!

good luck, you have many on here for encouragement if you need it!

[MoOrLess]

Hang in there - you definitely have a full plate. I agree with rgoodyz....take one day at a time - one meal and one hour at a time -- you really ARE doing awesome! 5 oz of healthy food instead of 3 oz is NOT a big deal....don't be hard on yourself - just keep on doing what you're doing and surgery day will be here before you know it. Definitely go to a pet shop and find a puppy to bond with -- and then go for a walk and clear your head and heart emotionally....just take some time for YOU.

[remmi]

Okay, stress is normal. You know I'm just on the other side, right? So...you are literally steps behind me and let me tell you how I feel:

Amazing! My DH told me I look awesome. He also said it's coming from within me, like I am radiating a positive vibe. It's true. I find myself smiling because I just feel so good and so right for the first time in a long time. I already have clothes that are too big and I can't believe the things I'm fitting back into!

Think about it. You are going to be feeling like this sooner than you know! It's hard now. You are letting go of old habits and unhealthy choices that have been around for a long time. It won't happen over night. But you will be able to look back and own all of your accomplishments. It's going to be amazing!

Stay strong!!!!

[Azuredreams]

UPDATE!!!!!!!

I know all of you are going to probably tell me to put off surgery now.... But im going ahead with it.

Im dealing with so much stress right now but honesly being on my liquid diet and everything prepairing for surgery is getting me threw this.

I dont know where I left off about my mother, but this tuesday... two days after my mom was taken off the ventalator, My father died.

It was unexpected, and ...... yeah...... Life is totaly sucking for me right now, but being on the diet and thinking of nothing but getting stuff done for the funeral and getting mom back home from the hospital and also prepaing for surgery is totaly keeping my mind off of what is going on.

My bloodpressure was up when I went in for the PT apointment, and said she was going to tell on me and she didnt know if I was going to be able to have surgery. But they scheduled me.

I know that there are some of you that probably will tell me not to go threw with it..... cause all of the mental stress that is going to hit after surgery when I am recovering. .....but I have made up my mind that Im not putting anything off.


This is a link to my personal blog http://www.myspace.com/azuresheadspace it tells more of the story... I dont talk about having surgery because even though I have told my friends I dont really want my highschool alumni knowing, so the private blogs are talking about the surgery.... thats why they are private. :)

Honesly Im doing OK. It hard, Im depresed alot, but I have a very good supportive family who is all coming closer together with this horribe event.

[rgoodyz]

I know all of you are going to probably tell me to put off surgery now.... But im going ahead with it...Honesly Im doing OK. It hard, Im depresed alot, but I have a very good supportive family who is all coming closer together with this horribe event.[/quote]

i'm so sorry to hear about your dad and all of your life stress. we are not here to judge, this forum is about supporting people....so if you feel like you can move ahead with surgery, go for it!

facing a death is different for everyone, i can understand how the death of your father would make you want to keep driving on and moving forward with your surgery plans....there is no time like now to focus on you and get your life back.

take care and keep us posted~risa

[PattiDi07]

I am so sorry about your father..... and all that you are going through right now. I agree with Risa.... we are here to support you, not judge. Take some "me" time, though, as everyone else here has said. Keep us posted, and good luck. Again, you have my deepest, heart-felt sympathies.

[MoOrLess]

Hugs! I'm so sorry to hear about your dad passing away. This IS a stressful time for you, but only you know what you can handle. If you feel ready to proceed with the surgery then you should go for it. I can only suggest that you keep in mind that depression is a difficult monster to deal with - and many people feel that they have lost their best friend when food is removed from them - hence causing more depression. Just be aware of this and be sure to talk to anyone here and close friends or family who know you are having the surgery - I'm so glad to hear you have good support!

[Azuredreams]

Things are getting semi-better Mom is doing better, She is dealing with a slight infection but they are moving her to a new floor and prepairing her to come home maybe this weekend.... Its going to be tough when she gets home and dad isnt there waiting for her. I wish I could suck up all her pain and deal with it for her.

As for me I was banded yesterday, UGK UGK UGK and another UGK... I have taken the whole day for my self and Im letting my husband finish up cleaning up our house we just moved out of to come live with mom. My sister is going up to sit with mom and my aunt is really being helpfull. My family might be a mess most of the time but when something critical happends they all pull together.

Hell I have a neighbor down the street mowing the lawn right now :)

I feel OK, its hard to keep anything down, but I am making myself sip sip sip water so not to get dehydrated.... I know what that will do to you ( look at the begaining of this blog)

Although its still gonna be really tough I feel like a big worry has been lifted.

[503-250]

WOOHOOOO the tide has turned and you have made a fantastic step in a journey to your new life. Take your time, go slow and remember you can only solve things you can change and can only accept the things you can't.

Walk walk walk, sip sip sip...you will be fine