Too much Attention! I don't like it! Watch Oprah tomorrow. Same Topic!

[jacelogic]

:embarassed: Ok,
I know we should appreciate the attention we get from other due to dropping these pounds. But, it is getting kinda creepy! Yesterday, I went to one of my most frequented stores and the clerk was amazed at how much weight I had lost. Also, I met with some friends at an afternoon Book Club meeting and they were so shocked at how different I look! Yes, I work hard to achieve what I have achieved. It's weird all of a sudden. I'm only half way there. I am in a size 10 right now down from 16/18, and have lost alomost 40 lbs since june. How do most of you cope with this? Help!

[Lovemylpband]

It is scary and uncomfortable. You feel like you mind hasn't caught up to your body.

I think that everyone feels this way. It is very hard to accept complements when most likely we haven't gotten any on our looks in years.

Hang tight realize that your head needs to catch up and this it is ok to hear these things.

I can totally relate, but trust me when you stop hearing it, it feels a lot worse!

[jacelogic]

Thanks,
I don't feel as bad.

[Jachut]

Its a bit weird isnt it? I notice I'm getting "looked" at by men a lot more, and I'm not sure that I like it. Especially when I get tooted when I'm out running - then you never know whether its an appreciative toot or someone taking the piss. I mean there's some pretty bouncy booby action going on, lol.

And lately mum keeps going really over the top, I dont think she thought the surgery would work, and its embarrassing because my youngest sister has stacked on the weight recently and I kind of feel like she's getting pissed off at all the attention I'm getting. Not that she's anything like as fat as I was, but she's used to being the thin one out of the two of us - my middle sister has a GORGEOUS figure.

[housecatgirl]

OMG!!! I feel the same way! I was going to post something like this the other day but i didn't want to seem ungrateful. I am glad others feel this way, too. It is probably natural to feel a little weirded out by it. I went to the pharmacy the other day and the pharmacist said Wow, you lost alot of weight. Then, I went to the optomotrist and he pointed out I hve more frame options now that my face is thiner. It seems everywhere I go someone has their two cents. The other thing I hate is I am only 1/2 way to goal and when I say that I am only 1/2 way they say, "oh no...you shouldn't lose anymore weight...you look great now". But, I am not done and those comments can be sabotaging. I am very happy that when I went shopping this weekend I was able to fit a size 8 but I am only 5 ft. tall and I know a 4 would look alot better on my frame.

[jacelogic]

Its a bit weird isnt it? I notice I'm getting "looked" at by men a lot more, and I'm not sure that I like it. Especially when I get tooted when I'm out running - then you never know whether its an appreciative toot or someone taking the piss. I mean there's some pretty bouncy booby action going on, lol.

And lately mum keeps going really over the top, I dont think she thought the surgery would work, and its embarrassing because my youngest sister has stacked on the weight recently and I kind of feel like she's getting pissed off at all the attention I'm getting. Not that she's anything like as fat as I was, but she's used to being the thin one out of the two of us - my middle sister has a GORGEOUS figure.

Yep that happens to me too..I get hit on almost daily..especially while running. I too have boobs that are quite well lets just say Anna Nicole Smith...All natural..

[jacelogic]

OMG!!! I feel the same way! I was going to post something like this the other day but i didn't want to seem ungrateful. I am glad others feel this way, too. It is probably natural to feel a little weirded out by it. I went to the pharmacy the other day and the pharmacist said Wow, you lost alot of weight. Then, I went to the optomotrist and he pointed out I hve more frame options now that my face is thiner. It seems everywhere I go someone has their two cents. The other thing I hate is I am only 1/2 way to goal and when I say that I am only 1/2 way they say, "oh no...you shouldn't lose anymore weight...you look great now". But, I am not done and those comments can be sabotaging. I am very happy that when I went shopping this weekend I was able to fit a size 8 but I am only 5 ft. tall and I know a 4 would look alot better on my frame.

Lord knows I can relate. My mom is amazed every time she sees me. And my husband is constantly touching me and wanting well...When I was heavier he hardly touched me and I even told him that that made me feel uncomfortable. I am going to watch Oprah tomorrow. She's discussing the down side of all this attention from WLS.

["Just" Paul]

It goes on the guy end of things too.

I notice a lot more flirting from women, wasn't an issue before, and it makes my wife uncomfortable sometimes, as at her class reunion some of her classmates were very openly flirting with me. I like attention (heck I'm human) but NOW it sometimes gets very frequent, and obvious, and that can be troublesome.

I guess it is also an issue, as I still don't SEE the loss as much as others do. I still see me as me, yes I know I've lost weight, but I don't see WHY the major change in attitude toward me. I wasn't that bad lookin' a guy before, was I?

I also get annoyed at times with all the attention on the weight issue, as when I see people I haven't seen in a while, it is ALL they want to talk about... my weight loss. used to have a lot more to talk about. Politics, religion... any other topic, PLEASE!

[paula]

I also get annoyed at times with all the attention on the weight issue, as when I see people I haven't seen in a while, it is ALL they want to talk about... my weight loss.

Ive found that people are in AWE at my weight loss - but once I tell them my 'secret' they're no longer interested.. almost feeling like Ive taken the 'easy way out'.

Another thought on this subject...
for so many years our physical appearance was looked at in negativity. We became numb/unresponsive/forgiving/accepting to those comments or gestures..

Once our transformation begins, we sort-of go through a state of confusion... the comments/gestures are no longer negative, but positive.

Its a mental adjustment, as well as a physical one.


A fonky analogy would be to think of an abused puppy that cowards at everyone or thing. Then he is placed in a loving fun enviroment. It takes the pup quite a while to 'adjust' to the change...
just like us.
:D
sorry, its the only thing that came to mind.

[barbara465]

I just put a big smile on my face and say thank you. I've never suffered too much with my ego or self confidence. I like the new me and hope that soon I can get to goal, not 1/2 way yet. However, I find that I can't see ahead to what size I might be in December. We are going on a cruise and I can't bring myself to buy a size that I haven't seen since I was 20. So maybe I'll have a problem seeing myself as others do when I get there.

Most people at work just ignore my shrinking size. It is now noticeable that I've lost weight, but no one comments. So not sure which is worse too much or too little attention!

[DrewsLou]

I have been getting a lot more comments lately. There is a girl I work with that always tells me how skinny I look when she knows I'm annoyed by her... weird. I had a tire blow out on my way to work yesterday morning and the police officer who stopped to help me fell over himself making sure I was taken care of. Being flirted with is very strange to me and it makes me uncomfortable. I have seen myself as sexless for so long that to be appreciated as a woman again feels really odd.

I'm glad I'm not the only one struggling with this!

[Mrs Sabre]

I guess I'm an odd ball because I'm loving the attention! :clap2: I haven't been flirted with by any men, but then again I don't really go places where men would freely flirt either. My husband is all over me, and I'm certainly not complaining about that! :eyebrows:

[jacelogic]

I know we should be happy with all the attention we get from strangers/husbands etc. It's just as you said. After being attentionless, sexless for so long. As if you were not a human it's weird and I had to vent. I am learning to appreciate the old new/old me. I have not been this small for almost 7 years. I have a college reunion in 2 weeks. And the last time they saw me I was 232+ . I can only imagine the looks.

[HeatherGurl]

There are a lot of ladies at work that comment daily on how great I look and how much weight I have lost. I mean, DAILY. It is very nice, but I am so ready to move on with things and not be the once GINORMOUS girl that now looks normal.
On the other hand, I thought for sure I would be getting hit on or flirted with by men by now... still nothing. I have had ONE guy hit on me... Maybe my 6'-4". 300lb DH is scaring them away :)

It is hard to see ourselves as we lose weight especially if you have been MO your entire life. I still joke with my friends like I am the fat 360 pound girl I once was... and then I have to watch what I say because I am NOT that girl anymore. It isn't funny to joke with the fat girls if you are not as fat anymore. (if that makes any sense) I guess to me, I will always be the FAT girl :)

[NotSoFunny]

This is an interesting and very good topic to talk about. It has become a big deal with the people I know. Every time I see them it is "Oh my god! You are losing so fast!" The hardest part is when they decide to become all "doctor-like" and tell me that I am losing too fast, that I am not doing the right thing, etc.

The interesting thing that I have come to realize is that the people Rob works with that I do not know, I do not want to meet right now. I do not want to be known as the "woman who lost a lot of weight". I want to be known for me. It has meant that we do not do a lot of things with a lot of his work friends, but rob understands and does not push the issue. When I am at goal we will attend more functions. For now we just stick with our close friends, and a few friends from his job that already knew me before the band.

The one thing I have told people that I feel comfortable with is that I appreciate the kind words, and the concern about my health and rapid weight loss, but that the constant reminder, and the questioning is hard for me to deal with. Everyone has understood that I have told, and the comments have come down some. I still get the occasional comment from those I have said this too, but it is always positive now.

[JoyceGA]

This is a fantastic topic!

People commenting on my weightloss doesn't bother me. Especially, since six of them have called me at home later to find out what I am doing and where I am getting my protein supplies. I've sent people for the sleep test and oxygen threapy, too. And though I haven't had the lap-band, I give everyone information about the two bariatric centers in this area.

Well, I've never had a problem flirting with men and getting their attention. THE DIFFERENCE is that men who would not have given me a second look, are now on my porch. That turns into my trust issues with men -- that the new admirers are just into body lust and don't love the real me.

Now, it does bother me when someone yells at a funeral, "Joyce, you've lost so much weight!" Then about 50 eyes turn on me -- making me feel naked!! Now, in some situations that would be a "rush", but at a funeral I felt like a deer in headlights.

[Mrs Sabre]

Along this line, I don't see me (thinner) the way other people see me. Unless I have a before and after picture in front of me, I still see the same fat person in the mirror ... even with 50 pounds gone.

[housecatgirl]

I don't see me that much thinner either! I feel exactly the same with looser clothes.

[jacelogic]

I totally agree. I still see me heavier.

[Stitchy]

I wonder if seeing yourself as fat even when you have lost weight mostly applies to those that have been fat all of their lives? I could certainly see how that would happen.

I was not fat all of my life. I was a flight attendent and very slim. Several years after I got married and had a baby, the weight started creeping on until I got to my highest last spring. In my mind, I am still the slim girl I used to be. When I would catch sight of myself unexpectedly in a plate glass window or store mirror, I never recognized myself.

Now, I'm looking more like what my head thinks.

[jacelogic]

I share those feelings. I was never considered "FAT" until I became a military spouse. The war happened. DH deployed for 2 years. I became depressed. Taking care of my kids and being worried took a toll on my mental/physical state. I have always loved to workout. I just lost interest in everything. Including my weight.

[Jachut]

I look more like what my head thinks too. I've always suffered for my weight but I wasnt fat. Its just that I was 5ft 10 by the time I was 13 so I've always been the "big" girl and I"m not a tall thin figure either, I'm reasonably solid. So I was HUGE as a child.

So part of me wonders why I now feel positively willowly at 10kg above my prebaby weight, but I've had no trouble adjusting to it, probably because I never really saw how fat I had gotten.

[A1ikou]

I spend loads of time looking at myself in the mirror recently. I've not become really vain, I am just trying to get to know the person I see there. I do see a difference in my face and when I look at my pictures I know my body is changing too. But I'm inside this body and so I'll never see it like everyone else does. We all know mirrors lie and I sometimes doubt I'll ever see the real me...
I am being awkward too about the attention. I moaned for my first 80 something pounds that no-one noticed my weightloss and now that they do I feel decidedly uncomfortable about it. People seem to comment incessently once they start and I still have such a long way to go. They seem to be able to see evey pound I lose now, like there are labels appearing over my body, telling them where it's gone from. I'm in the group who has never been anywhere near thin and so the whole journey is scary as well as exciting. I used to dream that I could go to a desert island and come back the 'new me'. I am wishing now that this particular dream could come true. Until it does, I'll smile politely at the comments and get on with job of getting rid of this weight forever.

[Mrs Sabre]

Stitchy, I wasn't always MO either. My thyroid went crazy 12 years ago. I had the same issue when I was hyperthyroid ... I didn't see myself as sickly-looking thin as I was at that time. I later saw a picture of myself, and I looked like a heroine addict! It wasn't pretty. My weight gain began after I had a Radioactive Iodine treatment and my thyroid function was completely killed. I didn't see myself getting MO any more than I saw my self skin & bones. I think there's some kind of name for it ... body dysmorphic something or the other.

[LapBandit]

Wow, I'm glad I'm not alone in my little obsession with this topic! I know I've lost weight, but I just can't figure out how I look to the rest of the world. Am I still the biggest person in every room or do I look more "normal"??? I don't know! I think it's true that your head needs to catch up.

Honestly, I can relate to everything you all have posted. Here's something else I struggle with...does anyone look at me and think "I thought she'd look smaller by now". Secretly I wonder if some compliments are people just being polite but in their heads they're thinking I haven't really changed that much. UGH!!

As for attention by men...I'll take whatever y'all don't want. Send 'em my way-please!

[503-250]

I'm still the biggest person in any room, even this one.

My concern is the complete and total lack of information for the general public, the total misinformation of the media and public about all forms of this surgery, and the lifestyles of MO's. I listened to the radio this morning, I am a big O&A fan, and I am completely aware of the fact that they are running a contest called "Fatty Pig Fatty" in which they invited all obese women to come in, the largest woman to weigh in would win 10 dollars a lb. The current leader is 505lbs, and sadly I was relieved to hear someone was bigger then me. Today however I listened in complete anger as they described their opinions on fat people. That we spend our lives cramming fattening foods and candy in our mouths, barely taking time to breathe. That we all claim to have some kind of medical condition which causes obesity, etc. The final straw (which made me turn off the radio) was the statement that Morgan Spurlock made at the end of his movie, "AT WHAT POINT WILL IT BECOME ACCEPTABLE TO PUBLICLY HECTOR FAT PEOPLE IN THE WAY THAT SMOKERS ARE PUBLICLY HECTORED?". Personally, I can say that the first person that begins to harass me for eating, the way I was hassled when I was a smoker will find themselves the recipient of a solid ass kicking. People really need to keep their mouths shut about subjects they know nothing about.

I know this is a mixed group here, and I really honest hope I don't offend anyone with my following comments...but this is honestly how I feel.

In my life I have been judged for my looks in many ways...when I was younger and had long hair, I was stopped, detained at gun point and cuffed and beaten for how I looked alone. Since I was young, I have been overweight and I have always been judged based on that. I played football and my coaches assumed I was slow and lazy because I was fat. I was constantly accused of sneaking food, which I never did. I lived on lemon salad for weeks to lose weight to appease coaches, their response was to tell me if I didn't eat like a pig I would lose more weight, their proof was the fact that I lost weight in the weeks that I only ate lemon salad (lemon salad is iceburg lettuce and lemons, using only lemon juice as a dressing). I had numerous fights as a teenager because I was fat, because I became a target as a fat person. I have developed an obsessive compulsive disorder based on the way I am treated. To me this is a complete and total racist response to my physical appearence, I don't claim to understand what it's like to be racially discriminated against along the lines of being black, but I can honestly tell you I think I can at least have a clear understanding.

Someday hopefully I will lose weight and this will stop, I can change the physical appearance which the assholes will judge me by, black people can't, i'm not stupid I understand this all too well. I know that when I cut off all my hair the cops suddenly found me less interesting, so I also have a historical viewpoint on this change, however this will not change my anger at hearing people make comments about things they know nothing about.

[nita57]

Is it possible that this makes us uncomfortable because we unconsciously put on weight as a defense mechanism to actually prevent attention to our appearance? As for anyone who thinks I "cheated" or "took the easy way out" I have 2 words for 'em, and I won't spell them out here. Nita

[jacelogic]

Is it possible that this makes us uncomfortable because we unconsciously put on weight as a defense mechanism to actually prevent attention to our appearance? As for anyone who thinks I "cheated" or "took the easy way out" I have 2 words for 'em, and I won't spell them out here. Nita

You are right.. I did that for a long time. Tried to distract attention. By not caring about weight, clothes etc.