Shelly's Couch [Archive] - Band2gether™ Lap Band Forums and Support Groups

~Shelly~

12-08-2008, 01:50 PM

I need a spot to come and sit, write, track and reflect. If you're reading along, please feel free to sit down with me and share! :)

I'm 32 and as of Jan 08 I weighed 320ish. I started dieting (omg again) and hitting the gym and I was going ok but I was frustrated cause like many other people I had done this 7million times and what on Earth was going to make this time different. Well one thing was, I was the fattest I'd even been.

I have been big for my whole life. It began when I was 7 and my Mother remarried. Why? Who knows, my childhood wasn't fabulous but I know many people in that boat. I think I started using food to make myself feel better. I think I used my fat as a shield to keep people away. Familiar story I know.

I met this boy in high school who turned out to be the devil himself. He beat me for a long time and being the fat stupid girl I was, I moved in with him. I got stuck there for 4yrs and one day a switch flipped and I got myself a restraining order and got the hell outta there and never looked back. Good think too cause I'm fairly certain he would have killed me eventually.

I moved far away and lived with my Nana for a while, went to nursing school and moved in with some girl friends. During collage I didn't eat well or much and I got to the smallest I have ever been in my adult life.... a 10. I dated a lot, too much - I was like a maniac. I met my now DH and I stopped being a maniac, got comfy and started a life with him. I also started growing again lol.

We got married and I was a size 18. I felt disgusting cause he is a hot sexy man and he was madly in love with this fatty bo batty. But that didn't stop me from getting fatter. We tried to get PG for a year or so and it wasn't happening. I was heartbroken because I always dreamed of being a mother. When people asked me what I wanted to be when I grew up, I said, "A Mother." and it wasn't happening and I was so sad. I decided that it was cause I was so overweight and I began the Atkins diet. I lost 70lbs, tried to get PG again for about 6m and it didn't work. We saw a fertility doctor and he told me I was too fat... omg. I freaked out on him, on my DH, I really think I had some kind of emotional snap cause I lost it. He told me to lose 30lbs and come back. Well little did anyone know at the time... I was PG at that visit.

At about 10w I went for my first pre-natal visit and my BP was dangerously high. I got put on medication. Things were super til 30w when I started having contractions at work and ended up on bedrest for preeclampsia. I asked my doctor is this was because I was fat, he said no, but I knew it was. The rest of my PG was awful, I got bigger, and I ate more and more cause I was so afraid of something happening to my baby. I was on bedrest through Thanksgiving and Christmas - I was so depressed. I had a C-section 11 days before his due date - he was perfect and still is now. My everything. I was 335lbs when I had him. About 325 when I came home.

I yo-yo'd for a while after that, up until Jan of this year. In March, at the gym I met a gal named Deb. I'm not the religious type but I am very spiritual and believe that people are placed in your life for a reason. This was one of those people. She told me about gastric banding and her story. She weighed 300lbs when she was banded and 4 years out she was 180 and so healthy and gorgeous. That is when I began my research. I hadn't heard anything about this procedure until that day. I started my 3m pre-surgery dance in July and got banded on 11/10/08 - I was 301.

Here are some pictures from the night before. I'm not sure why I picked that outfit - mismatching PJs that aren't even attractive - for my last fatty bo batty photo's or why I look so miserable. But there I am, afraid and tired apparently. :P

redgrldj

12-08-2008, 01:56 PM

Aww Shelly so sorry so many bad things happened in your past.. But yoy have made a start to a brighter future.. I wanna comment on your pictures, but they have not been approved yet..

~Shelly~

12-08-2008, 02:06 PM

My surgery was amazing. My whole process was amazing really. Never once, through all my testing etc did anyone make me FEEL like a fat cow. I appreciated that because sometimes people are stupid.

My DH dropped me off at 530am and left with my son. I was SO afraid to be there alone but we don't have anyone capable of watching my angel and I told my DH it would really make me feel calm knowing he had DS. I also didn't tell anyone in my family about my surgery. So I was there alone.

I was brought to a room and asked to pee in a cup to be tested for pregnancy. I felt inclined to tell the nurse that I had had an IUD inserted a month ago because I didn't want to be PG while I was banded. She tested my pee anyhow. I got on a wheely bed and was brought to pre-op. There, it was like an assembly line. Wheely beds all lined in a row, there were about 10 patients in there ranging from old and really young. I started to cry because I wondered why the young ones were there and how their parents were coping with it so well. Then I started missing my boy so much. Luckily about this time a Chinese man started singing. He was the anesthesiologist. He started at one end and sang and poked Iv's into everyone. I didn't know if he was sane or not, but he didn't make anyone (even the kids) say OUCH so I knew he had to be ok. He was, didn't even hurt! Next my surgeon and his assistant came by and told me it would be any min now. Then some handsome man gave me something that made me feel really happy. I remember smiling thinking about how handsome he was and feeling goofy about it :crazy: .

I was wheeled into the OR and a nurse from my center came to my side. I was so happy to see her. She began reading me my healing statements as I went out. I woke up and was still intubated. I felt like I couldn't breathe, and like I was foaming at the mouth. I was so afraid. I couldn't turn my head but I could hear everyone talking. I tried to reach for the tube, and someone grabbed my hand and said, "It's ok sweetie, I'm going to take that out." It was Mr Handsome lol. He took it out and my airway began spasming. I felt like I couldn't breath and was making strange noises as I attempted to breathe in. People were gathered around me, asking if I had asthma - which I didn't. Mr Handsome told me to take some slow shallow breaths, I did and I started to breath ok again. That was scarey.

I was in the recovery room and a nurse was beside me and was so sweet. I wanted to take all my blankets off and see my incisions but she told me there would be time for that later on. So I sat there waiting for later on. I was brought to my room, and met my nurse. She reminded me of my Nana so I knew all was ok. She explained some stuff to me I asked if I could get up. She told me I could an 2 hours. When she left me, I looked at my incisions lol.

I forgot to mention I have a love-er-ly reaction to the tegaderm dressings they put over my incisions, as evident by the red square around my top incision! :)

~Shelly~

12-08-2008, 02:17 PM

I got up as soon as I could with my pole and I shuffled. I got up every hour because I was so afraid of getting that gas pain. Around and around I went lol. I looked in every room that had the door open because I knew 3 people from my center were getting their bypass that day. I didn't find anyone. My son and DH came and that was so happy for me, I had missed them SO much! I went home around 2pm the next day, after I had passed my swallow tested and sipped to their satisfaction.

So I'm almost 1m out today. I had some restriction after surgery, up until about 5 days ago. I miss it! I don't get my first fill til next Friday and I feel like I'm flying solo and that is scary. I'm not hungry exactly, but my water sails right passed my band and it feel all wide open so that is scary cause I COULD put some food down if I lost control lol. But I'm sticking to 1/2c of pureed three times a day and a protein shake and trying to do exactly what they told me. I'm a strong girl, I can do it!

I'm walking/running on my treadmill at home with 5lbs weights in my hands, 5 days a week and I go to the gym 3 nights a week for weight training. I can see a difference in my body and it feels so good. I'm down 25lbs since 11/10 and that too feels so good.

Over the weekend, some gals on my support thread here said I was pretty. You know I've heard that from my DH so many times but I always figured he kinda HAD to say that cause he loves me. Lol. Hearing someone else tell me that made me feel so nice inside. I've never thought of myself as pretty. I didn't think I was ugly, but definitely not pretty. So if you gals are reading this, thank you - you gave me such a gift with your words. :)

SpookyJulz

12-08-2008, 04:39 PM

Hi Shelly,

It's nice to have you with us!! You sound like a gal who's a lot of fun!!
I agree I think you are very pretty!!!
Best of luck Happy to have you with us!!

chrispygal

12-08-2008, 05:00 PM

Thank you for sharing your story Shelly, and I am excited to watch your process and celebrate with you along the way. This is YOUR time girlfriend!!! :)

Nick N Ava's Grammy

12-08-2008, 05:02 PM

Shelly, you have such a way with words.. I felt like I was there with you during your whole life.

I know you'll do a fantastic job on your weight loss journey. I wish you well and continued success with your weight loss.. you GO girl!! :)

Tricia K.

12-08-2008, 05:05 PM

Welcome to B2G and bandland!!! You are beautiful!!

Nick N Ava's Grammy

12-08-2008, 05:12 PM

What a difference Shelly!! You're absolutely beautiful little lady! Like I said a few minutes ago.. you're gonna do great with your band! Welcome to B2G!!

maggieD

12-08-2008, 05:27 PM

Good Luck Shelly. I subscribed to your thread so i can keep tabs... :) You are so inspiring... reading your story makes me think of my own struggles and how we are all in the same struggle and can help each other out .... if only we would ask. Keep up your good work ... You are doing awsome.

JDru

12-08-2008, 05:43 PM

You are doing so well Shelly! Thanks for sharing your story, I loved reading about your banding experience. You are beautiful!! I can't wait to see what the next few months will bring you. :)

GirlyGirl

12-08-2008, 06:20 PM

Shelly, I've been told I have a way with words.... I do.... I really appreciate that gift when I see it in others .... I loved reading your expressions, your innermost thoughts, your fears, your humor, the way you let me see it through your eyes.... thank you,

You are strong, life has made you that way.... keep sharing with us please....

I can't wait to see your pictures, they sound terrible! LOL!

I'm a subscriber, Move over, you need to make room for one more on your couch!

kristina

12-08-2008, 08:03 PM

shelly...my girl! (yep shes one of my babies!) look at you!!! i love these pictures..and look at the difference between your befores and now...you are so full of life and hope...your posts brought tears to my eyes. and i love love love ur threads' name...the couch! i will be sittin right next to jeralin on this couch cheering u on! i cannot wait to watch you shrink....and grow in confidence at the same time!!!! i am already seeing it!!!!!
shelly- u rock!!!!

EmileeKaye

12-08-2008, 09:10 PM

Shelly, just read your story for the first time tonight. Love the progress pics and look forward to watching your journey!!

GirlyGirl

12-08-2008, 10:58 PM

shelly, shelly, shelly, i just saw your pics! You look amazing! You look amazing, your before and after looks like a different person!

Great for you! Keep inspiring us!!

kristina

12-09-2008, 10:30 AM

isnt she hot?

sharont81

12-09-2008, 10:36 AM

Your face after the band says it all - you are smiling and happy. Welcome to B2G. I am hoping to be like you again.

~Shelly~

12-09-2008, 02:49 PM

Aww I love you guys! I'm so happy to be on this journey and surrounded by such wonderful, supportive, beautiful people. I am SO lucky!!

Thank you all so much for all your kind words and compliments - my face gets red each time I read through them. I'm not used to it I suppose.

I wish I could give you all a hug! I'm looking forward to sharing my journey! Come sit with me anytime :)

mindwing

12-09-2008, 03:15 PM

Shelly

I just found your thread and read it. What an amazing story. How long was it between your decision and your surgery? It seems to have been very soon, judging by your weight and your story.

You are beautiful. I am encouraged that I might look fairly good by the time I reach 300 pounds. Now you will just get thinner and look better as long as you follow the bandster rules-- and you sound like you are determined to.

mindwing

newlifeat57

12-09-2008, 08:23 PM

Shelly I loved your story. You've done a wonderful job expressing youself in a way that puts me right there with you. Yup, the couch was a good idea. Made me feel real comfortable sitting with you, shedding a few tears with you, reflecting on those times when things were tough, and rejoicing with you when you were taken care of in the manner that is due you. Shelly, you are going to rock that band. keep us posted---K

BTW As the goddess of devine retribution. YOU ROCK!!

kristina

12-09-2008, 08:29 PM

awww shelly we love u too...
and isnt mel great with words!? i love her.

wingsfly825

12-09-2008, 08:45 PM

Shelly ...i cant say it better than the rest of them...Your beaming from the inside out and it shows...You are absolutely a beautiful woman..

503-250

12-10-2008, 01:41 AM

Hi Shelly, welcome to the forum. I think it's great that you started off with a big about me, confession getting to know you type of thread...what a brave soul. I'm one of the original members here and I have not yet made a thread like this one...thanks for making me feel guilty...LOL

Seriously, congratulations..you are doing fantastic and you look AMAZING! Keep up that great work. Plus a like a girl who introduces herself by pulling her shirt up...let's keep that up as well.

Kitty

12-10-2008, 06:44 AM

Shelly,
Awesome thread! I so enjoy reading other people's stories. It sounds like you have done a great job of getting the hang of the band right off. I am sure you will continue to do great! And...you are a really beautiful girl....don't forget that!

"Just" Paul

12-10-2008, 07:40 AM

Shelly... I love a good couch.

Make room, and hand me the remote.

BTW, you ARE pretty, and you'll do GREAT!

kristina

12-10-2008, 07:48 AM

bear- u are a naughty naughty boy.

now make a thread!!!!

~Shelly~

12-10-2008, 09:40 AM

Thank you Mel, Paul, Bear, Kitty, and Teresa! :) I have to admit I'm overwhelmed by the support and love here :) Being a fatty bo batty has been quite isolating for me. Big hugs to all of you!

So... Sunday I realized I am not Gumby... at least according to my port. I was taking my son out of the truck and placing him on the step of the house, I was holding his back making sure he had his balance, and he dropped his race car. So I did this squatting, half split, arm stretching, tummy twisting gymnastics move to obtain said race car, while still holding DS and I pulled something in the port area! It felt like a rip - not a great feeling at all. When I stood up, it felt ok but when I moved I knew I had done something but it wasn't a bad pain.

Monday, and Tuesday I did my usual jogging/walking on the treadmill and to the gym at night for aeorbics and weights and my port area always felt better after working out so I figured he was ok. Last night I did jogging on an incline. Well... lemme tell ya - I woke at 3am and WOW I was hurting, even the skin hurts. I put ice on it, but I can't sit without keeping my back super straight, bending hurts, twisting hurts, picking up the boy hurts. :( OUCHIE!

Today I'm going to see my nut so I called to see if the NP at the fat center could look and poke my port. The nurse gal said, "Ok I'll tell her..." she seemed less than happy about my request. Oh well! I live an hour away and I'm going to be there, I can't imagine why it would put a bug in anyone's panties to poke my port for a moment :)

I'll let you know how it goes! DH says I should lay off the work outs for a while, the intelligent part of me agrees, but the other part is afraid if I stop I won't love it like I do now. But then the intelligent part says, stop and let it heal so you CAN keep doing it. I think that side will win.

kristina

12-10-2008, 09:59 AM

maggieD

12-10-2008, 10:07 AM

Shelly .... hoping all is ok with the port... :)

"Just" Paul

12-10-2008, 10:14 AM

Shelly... remember that your port is STITCHED to your abdominal MUSCLE. Keep it simple and easy for up to a couple MONTHS for it to heal properly... that includes anything that is lifting or bending related...

Slow down, get it checked. It is unlikely to be anything, but you definitely strained one of the stitches.

Take it easy on the abdominal stress for a while longer... it took a long time to get here, so relax and let it happen at a more reasonable pace.

You'll be working out like a demon in NO TIME!

~Shelly~

12-10-2008, 02:27 PM

yes...listen to smarty pants.
no more working out. wait wait wait...till u feel better. please!
and get checked out..then come back and tell us what they say, k?
its probably no biggie..but its always better to be safe.
and stop doing these things!
http://i200.photobucket.com/albums/aa72/annelast_photo/contortionist.jpg

Rofl Kristina - I hope someday I CAN rest my butt on my head... :faint:

Shelly... remember that your port is STITCHED to your abdominal MUSCLE. Keep it simple and easy for up to a couple MONTHS for it to heal properly... that includes anything that is lifting or bending related...

Slow down, get it checked. It is unlikely to be anything, but you definitely strained one of the stitches.

Take it easy on the abdominal stress for a while longer... it took a long time to get here, so relax and let it happen at a more reasonable pace.

You'll be working out like a demon in NO TIME!

I think I was feeling so super that I thought I was home free. :ohwell: The NP said everything you wrote here Paul!

Thank you guys!

So, I was talking to the nut. and she asked me about how I was feeling and she mentioned how much I've lost and I busted out in tears :crazy: I'm really not exactly sure why. The scale hasn't moved in a while, I think that frustrates me even though I've lost quite a bit since surgery, and have gone down in sizes in my clothes. She talked about muscle mass vs fat and so on and so forth. She started talking about the fact that I had weight loss surgery, I'm not on a diet - I'm changing my lifestyle ~~~ more tears. That there isn't a time limit, it's not a race, there is no "done" or "end" ~~~ more tears. That it isn't going to come back, like all the other times before (if one follows the rules of course) ~~~ more tears. My son came over and said, "Mumma, lady make you cry?" Awwww!

So whomever said they can band your belly but not your head wasn't fibbing. I have some head stuff to work though. I'm not sure why I think I'm in some race but I do. I feel like someone is expecting something of me - that someone is ME. I need to not be so rough on me, I'd never expect so much from anyone else, why of myself? It's really good to be goal oriented, it's really good to follow rules, it's super to expect myself to do the best I can... but when I am doing all of that and I am still frustrated with me and feeling let down with me - that's not so good.

The NP came in and told me if I ripped my port off the muscle and it was dangling inside me (which is the picture I had in my head :neener:) I would have KNOWN it and I would have been at the hospital the night in happened lol. She said that she was confident nothing was seriously wrong but knowing that I was a high anxiety type of gal she was going to poke at me just to set my mind at ease. She said the muscle grows a capsule type thing around the port as it heals together and the muscle is weak and irritated that it has the port there and she thinks as Paul said I strained the muscle and the stitches. She said to use ice and heat and tylenol and to call her if it's not markedly better by next week. So I'm gonna settle down a bit.

I get to chew food tonight, that is so exciting to me. Chewing, ah to chew foods!! I gotta run, my son is trying to feed an unwilling feline some apple... :elephant:

kristina

12-10-2008, 02:51 PM

our Paul is a genious...

so tell me what is your first bite going to be?

and i am sorry you got all choked up in the nuts office...this is all so new and fresh..its understandable..and it takes some getting used too.

GirlyGirl

12-10-2008, 03:09 PM

Oh, Shelly, you have so much to adjust to so I am sure it won't be the last time that the tears roll, but get it out, let it rip...it will make you feel so much better

This is a lot to adjust to

So do tell... what will your first bite be?

Kitty

12-10-2008, 04:17 PM

Shelly,
I totally understand the tears and know how embarrassing and awful that must have been for you. Don't worry though...we have all had strong emotions regarding our weight issues. You're not alone! I know it always helps me to remember that.

chrispygal

12-10-2008, 04:55 PM

Shelley there are still times for me that my port area gets really sore. Sometimes from exercise, or sitting in a pair of pants that just hit the wrong spot. It can be really uncomfortable some times.

~Shelly~

12-10-2008, 05:23 PM

Chrispygal - It's good to know that it could keep being sore from time to time - cause I was freak out and figure I broke it each time lol.

So I ate..... I'm afraid it wasn't too adventurous...

Raw spinach salad with some roasted red pepper strips, and some grilled chicken breast with lime and pepper, and a tsp of balsamic vinaigrette. I cut everything up as if my kiddo was going to eat it, and it took me forever to eat it cause I chewed soooooo much!

It was so good, SO GOOD and it felt so nice to chew. I like chewing, I missed chewing! You know I was a gum chewing addict and I miss chewing. This was a nice change from freakin' pureed veggie chili, lemme tell you!

I keep burping now, but I don't have pain or anything. Yay me! :elephant::elephant::elephant:

kristina

12-10-2008, 05:29 PM

yummmyyyyyy!!! u make me want a salad....
i have some cornish hens in the oven roasting and some sweet potatoes beside them...cooking away...i think i will put my peas back in the freezer and chop up some salad instead! :)

maggieD

12-10-2008, 07:28 PM

I had a chicken,brocolli, rice casserole for dinner... Mostly chicken... It was great...

~Shelly~

12-10-2008, 07:33 PM

Kristina - I've never had a cornish hen - K I'm coming for lunch so save a tiny piece ok? ;)

Maggie - That sounds so yummy. I love casseroles!

kristina

12-10-2008, 07:33 PM

yumm sounds good maggie!

shelly-i meant to tell you earlier..i am only 2 months and some change out..but i stopped doing ab weights cause my port gets sore for a few days after.
now i still do situps..but i will save the 50 pound weights for later. :)

kristina

12-10-2008, 07:35 PM

cornish hens are nothing more than lil baby chickens. poor chickens...u should have seen my kids tonight...talking about the chicken butt. i almost couldn't eat my dinner! almost. LOL!
u just throw em in a pan, season and roast it like you would a normal chicken. its so easy!!!!

maggieD

12-10-2008, 07:40 PM

cornish hens are great on the grill as well.... Can you guys still Grill where you live? I know in some locations it is seasonal...

cornish hens are nothing more than lil baby chickens. poor chickens...u should have seen my kids tonight...talking about the chicken butt. i almost couldn't eat my dinner! almost. LOL!
u just throw em in a pan, season and roast it like you would a normal chicken. its so easy!!!!

kristina

12-10-2008, 07:41 PM

maggie, if i enjoyed frostbite..i would def go grill those suckers!!! the grill is probably frozen closed!

Kitty

12-10-2008, 08:08 PM

OMG! Not to get off subject, but just talking about grilling got me thinking how we USUALLY can do that all year round, but guess what we had here in Houston today??!! SNOW! Actual flakes you could see....LOL I have lived here almost 20 years and this is only about the 4th time I've seen it happen. The kids thought it was really awesome.

newlifeat57

12-10-2008, 08:14 PM

hijack..... We're expecting snow this weekend. Should be interesting.

~Shelly~

12-10-2008, 08:24 PM

Supposed to snow here too, I'm excited!

No such thing as a hiijack on the couch by the way! :)

kristina

12-10-2008, 09:00 PM

yeah...i love free for all threads!

Nick N Ava's Grammy

12-10-2008, 09:16 PM

She started talking about the fact that I had weight loss surgery, I'm not on a diet - I'm changing my lifestyle ~~~ more tears. That there isn't a time limit, it's not a race, there is no "done" or "end" ~~~ more tears. That it isn't going to come back, like all the other times before (if one follows the rules of course) ~~~ more tears.

So whomever said they can band your belly but not your head wasn't fibbing. I have some head stuff to work though. I'm not sure why I think I'm in some race but I do. I feel like someone is expecting something of me - that someone is ME. I need to not be so rough on me, I'd never expect so much from anyone else, why of myself? It's really good to be goal oriented, it's really good to follow rules, it's super to expect myself to do the best I can... but when I am doing all of that and I am still frustrated with me and feeling let down with me - that's not so good.Shelly.. you hit the nail on the head when you posted this.. I feel the same way.. only you put it in words better than I could. My nurse has told me the same thing, and I really 'hear' it, but I don't believe it, because on all the other 'diets'.. there is a race, because if you're paying for Weight Watchers you pay whether your lose that week or not, but I need to get it in my head that I had weight loss 'surgery' and there is no race, I feel like if I don't lose constantly that someone will be mad at me (thinking my Dr) when after it's all said and done, it's ME I'm mad at!!! I had a light bulb moment and I thank you for that Shelly. Now I just need to start believing this.

cornish hens are nothing more than lil baby chickens. poor chickens...u should have seen my kids tonight...talking about the chicken butt. i almost couldn't eat my dinner! almost. LOL!
u just throw em in a pan, season and roast it like you would a normal chicken. its so easy!!!!Years ago on one of my many diets I had a bad gallbladder and for Thanksgiving instead of me having the turkey with all the spices on it plus the dressing, my sweet Dad said he would make a cornish hen for me. After he carved the turkey, got all the food out on the table, he came in the living room where I was getting the kids ready to eat, and announced so proudly ... "Donna, your pidgeon is done".. OMG I thought I was going to die laughing!! He was so serious (but he had a veryyyy dry sense of humor).. the look on his face was priceless.. So now when I see those little hens, I think of that day. How I miss my Dad.

GirlyGirl

12-11-2008, 03:13 AM

redgrldj

12-11-2008, 06:19 AM

Hey I am excited.. We are supposed to see rain this weekend.. It has been cold enough they have blown enough snow that our Ski resorts are open.. they usually open Thanksgiving day..

~Shelly~

12-11-2008, 07:43 AM

It's amazing that my shirts get longer the smaller I get...

So I'm off for Lasix surgery on my left eye and final eye (that makes it sound like I have more than two eyes, doesn't it?) and I'm excited but nervous!

Wish me luck!!

:cool::cool:

Kitty

12-11-2008, 07:45 AM

Good luck! Sounds exciting...now you'll be able to see how great you are looking even better!

kristina

12-11-2008, 08:10 AM

good luck chica...now u will be able to see how HOT you really are! ;)

wingsfly825

12-11-2008, 08:45 AM

Best of luck shelly...let us know how your feeling

GirlyGirl

12-11-2008, 09:15 AM

Hey Shelly, I had lasix about 10 years ago, still can see better than 20/20! Although I started needing readers in the past two years but they said that could happen.

One of the best things I ever did!

Good luck Shel

Stitchy

12-11-2008, 10:26 AM

No! No snow in the Pacific NW, I left the snow behind in Chicago, which has been getting dumped on pretty good.

We are going to go see beautiful Christmas lights this weekend so it should make it beautiful if it snows, but I don't want anything to do with snow!

http://smileys.smileycentral.com/cat/8/8_2_87.gif (http://www.smileycentral.com/?partner=_undefined) NO SNOW THIS CHRISTMAS!!

Jeralin, here's a bit of advice from an ex-pacific northwesterner. I know you don't want anything to do with snow for your reasons (I've lived in Chicago, too), but there is another reason. In the PNW, it does snow occasionally. The temperature generally hangs around 30-33 degrees then. That means thawing during the day and freezing at night. Makes for pretty icy conditions.

Another condition is black ice. Frozen as a sheet on asphalt roads and you can't see it at all. The road looks the same as it always does so it can be a surprise. Four wheel drive won't help you.

Add all of the hills and it's downright dangerous. Don't go out unless it's an absolute freakin' emergency. Take care driving. Have food on hand.

GirlyGirl

12-11-2008, 10:32 AM

And add to that Stitchy, the house we are renting has a very steep drive! nice.....

JDru

12-11-2008, 10:56 AM

Good luck today Shelly!! :)

redgrldj

12-11-2008, 11:04 AM

I think I will stay in CA.. hmm I thought I was freezing this morning at 59 degrees

Mloukas143

12-11-2008, 01:06 PM

Shelly your stories are inspiring, emotional, and touching. I'm glad I found this thread while we are still below 10 pages and not like 100 pages in lol..Then I would have to sit back and read alll of your posts...I guess the way you tell your stories is eye catching, like a book I can't put down haha. Congrats on your weight loss, and for pushing through all of your hard struggles through out life..I can't wait to join this journey with you, and now that you are one of my subscribed threads, i will be stopping by frequently to say hi =)

GirlyGirl

12-11-2008, 02:13 PM

Shelly, have you upgraded to a sectional or one of those pits yet? Your couch is getting crowded....

You are a popular girls!

http://ak.webfetti.com/assets/glitter/0/119.gif

SpookyJulz

12-11-2008, 04:13 PM

Shelly, have you upgraded to a sectional or one of those pits yet? Your couch is getting crowded....

DUH!! I thought Shelly had posted pics of her living room!!!! I actually went looking for them!!! LMAO

GirlyGirl

12-11-2008, 04:20 PM

Wild goose chase!!!

SpookyJulz

12-11-2008, 04:49 PM

hehehe!! Yup!!

~Shelly~

12-11-2008, 04:56 PM

Melissa! I can't wait until your banded, and I'm so glad you're going to hang out on the couch with us!

LOL @ looking for pictures of my living room!!!!!!!!!!!

SO my eyeball....

March of this year I decided I was sick of contacts and I dislike glasses so I went to see a doctor about Lasix. I was a great candidate and I went through all the testing, paid and then showed up for the day of my surgery. They went ahead and cut the flap (in the cornea) and realized it was uneven and too thin, so he stop and put the flap back down and didn't continue.

I had to wait 3 MONTHS for it to heal. Then in August I had PRK done in that eye (R) and it went fabulously! Hurt like heck, but it was worth it! THEN....

DH broken his tibia completely in half during Karate. This was Sept. He had to have surgery to have a rod and pins inserted. This wasn't a fun time at my house lol. He couldn't do anything, even things that didn't require legwork.... like cutting up his food. He milked it for all it was worth lol.

THEN I had my band surgery in Nov! So that left Dec for my left eye and that was today! I'm so glad it's all over. I had PRK in this eye too which is a bit more painful and a longer recovery than Lasix - but I'm a tough cookie!!

No more glasses with one lens missing for me!

In other news... I saw someone on here posted pictures of herself in the same then too small dress month after month to show her progress. I LOVED that idea and so I adopted it. The dress I found was an 18. When I was banded I was a 26/28. I took front, back and side pictures of the 18 on me... I have to say it's the funniest, most disgusting series of photos ever taken LOL. It didn't zip of course and I ALMOST couldn't even get it over my gut and hips. Its so horrid LOL. I tried it on yesterday, I poured myself into it again and DH could actually zip it... it's skin tight, doesn't fit me by any stretch (I think the zipper was pleading to be set free) and shows off more rolls the the window of a bakery, but dam it - it zips! I took pictures too! I want to post them but I think I'll wait until next month when it's less... uhm... bumpy looking Rofl.

I'm off to rest some. Talk to you guys later and thank you for all the well wishes today!

I think this is my couch lol...

Stitchy

12-11-2008, 05:06 PM

That sounds like Michelle
BTW - I love your couch!

Mloukas143

12-11-2008, 06:16 PM

who cares post the pics! wait, unless you feel uncomfortable about it, then that is ok..but keep them for yourself so when you do fit in it you can see a difference!!! trust me, we have all been over weight..bulges, big hips, and rolls are all normal in this family! lol

stac1982

12-11-2008, 07:40 PM

Thanks for sharing your story Shelly. It's nice for those "old" bandsters to get inspired by y'all youngsters!

With your attitude, I am sure you are going to do great!

kristina

12-11-2008, 08:37 PM

thats what i lovingly refer to as pulling a mama michelle. isnt she great? when she finally zipped that dress i flippin cried!!!

lovin ur couch!

bgrand

12-11-2008, 08:45 PM

very inspirational!!!! congratulations...

"Just" Paul

12-12-2008, 09:35 AM

Yeah... I did that too...

Still haven't worn the dress though. :crazy:

redgrldj

12-12-2008, 09:41 AM

Thanks Paul.. now that picture is stuck in my head..

"Just" Paul

12-12-2008, 11:31 AM

LOL, that was the idea.

redgrldj

12-12-2008, 12:09 PM

I'm picturing him in a floral print ( kinda like grannys couch) down to the ankle, high collar, long sleeves... LOL

"Just" Paul

12-12-2008, 12:21 PM

No way baby... minidress, showing lots of leg and cleav.

maybe backless...

OK, I'm picturing it now, and I just threw up in my mouth a little.

lyndele

12-12-2008, 12:37 PM

Hi Shelly,

I did exactly the same thing with my port - it took about a week to heal, and that's with NO exercise, NO stretching to grab something off the shelf, NO picking up kids, etc. Please do take it very easy; you want that port site to heal cleanly and quickly.

The good news: it's been almost 3 months since I "tore" the port away from the muscle and I've not had another episode. I've been back to exercising with no problems. I will say that I'm very mindful of sudden movements, though :)

Good luck!

redgrldj

12-12-2008, 06:52 PM

Paul if it is a mini dress then you gotta have a full wax job.. Brazilian all the way LOL..

SpookyJulz

12-12-2008, 08:24 PM

I liked these....the one is long but it's got a great backless look!!!
I think you'll need some breast enhancers too.

SpookyJulz

12-12-2008, 08:25 PM

Here are the Breast enhancers you have sooo many choices

503-250

12-13-2008, 12:09 AM

Wow...when I first read this, I thought breast enhancers was duct tape....sorry...I worked a lot of fashion shows.

SpookyJulz

12-13-2008, 08:55 AM

They use duct tape pulls them together to create cleavage. They use 2 sided tape to keep the dress in place so the cleavage doesn't fall out of the dress.

Stitchy

12-13-2008, 10:18 AM

SpookyJulz

12-13-2008, 11:28 AM

Awe...Bless her heart!!

kristina

12-13-2008, 01:43 PM

stitchy..she should be in one of your picture blogs! LOL!!!

503-250

12-13-2008, 02:56 PM

There's a Korean comedian with a southern accent who has this great routine about his wife. He says that apparently southern women can say anything they want, no matter how cruel as long as they end it with...bless her heart.

Then he went on to say she saw a fat person when they were in the mall and she turned and said ," OMG did you see how fat that man was" and he said....yes...and he can hear you...and she said...bless his heart.

He's got a ton of videos online, but none with this in it.....His name is Henry Cho.

worlfree

12-13-2008, 03:57 PM

Shelly u r a pretty girl and good luck to you. I have not yet been banded, but I'm looking at your weight loss 49 lbs in one month WOW

lyndele

12-13-2008, 04:41 PM

I'm guilty of the "bless his/her heart" thing... not that I talk badly about people very often, but if I do, you can be sure that I'll be blessin' their heart :)

SpookyJulz

12-14-2008, 11:18 AM

Kitty

12-14-2008, 01:05 PM

I've heard of Margaret Cho...she's Korean too I think (and a comedienne). Any relation? She's really funny.

Lovemylpband

12-14-2008, 04:52 PM

Shelly your doing great! Take it easy we are not in a race. I'm over 3 yrs out and my port still get sore at times.

You guys are all nuts! lol

~Shelly~

12-19-2008, 05:54 PM

OMGOODNESS what a week it's been. I have this wireless connection while sitting in the corner of a closet in my IL's house... it's here and gone every other min!

We lost power last Thursday during a horrid ice storm... it's STILL FREAKING OUT! It's been miserable and cold and blah.

I got my fill today 3cc and it wasn't bad at all. I can swallow water fine though I can certainly tell a difference! On liquids for 24h and then slowly back to reg diet.

I've missed you all so much! I'll be back when I can and I'm HOPING and WISHING that we have power before Christmas for my son's sake.

Love and hugs.
Shelly

Mloukas143

12-19-2008, 06:30 PM

don't ya just love this weather??? we were snowed in today here in NJ..it is so pretty, but man what damage these storms can bring! woo hoo, u had ur fill...let us know how u are feeling once it sits in for a bit, and let us know how the restriction is doing.

see ya soon

redgrldj

12-19-2008, 08:24 PM

Heck it got down to 28 degree's here last night.. it is 47 right now.. I am so not into the cold...

kristina

12-19-2008, 08:50 PM

hooooray for fills!!!! i am so glad you have urs...and the worry is over! smooches...stay warm love!

wingsfly825

12-19-2008, 11:09 PM

Just droppin in to say hi... How you feeling since your fill?

~Shelly~

12-20-2008, 03:37 AM

So I'm huddle in the corner of the closet again - I have no idea whose wireless connection this is that I'm picking up but I'll only use it for a moment!

It hasn't been 24h yet since my fill, and I've only had liquids but it only feels slightly different at the moment. I'm sure it'll feel very different when I eat some real food. I can feel the liquids go into my pouch and slowly move into my tummy - much like right after my surgery... is this right?

I was so nervous - for nothing lol. When she poked the needle (no numbing stuff) she pushed until she heard a click - ok that part felt and sounded really strange to me as I've never clicked before :cool:

We had a snow storm yesterday and my appt was in the afternoon - I wouldn't have been able to get there, so I called and they said they were seeing people before noon. I didn't get to see my surgeon because they were so busy - so the NP filled me. They usually put 4cc in at the first fill but she said since I've lost so much since my surgey (29lbs) she didn't think I needed the full 4cc. She said I can come back in as early as 3w for more if I wanted, or wait until I wanted to.

So time will tell eh!

My kiddo can't wait to go home. He keeps telling me to go fix our house with tape :sad:

Anyhow, I can't feel my left foot so I best get out of this closet lol.

HUGS! :sun_smiley:

jezziegrace

12-20-2008, 06:08 AM

Snow, Snow, Snow!!! I want snow!!! My part of the world is sunshiny and chilly but sure doesn't feel like Christmas. Shelly, when I read posts from folks experiencing 'firsts', I'm a sponge! I'm so glad to hear everything is going well. Merry Christmas!
-Jez

~Shelly~

12-20-2008, 06:39 AM

There is a woman at the rv resort that shows off cleavage (and a lot of everything else) She rides around on her bicycle in a veeerrry low cut bathing suit. Temperature is cool. We are all wearing sweatshirts.

Now to use a southern expression: Bless her heart but she's got to be at least 67 and has waaaay to much of everything to be dressed like that.
She need two-sided tape, too.

:eyerub::eyerub:

So this reminded me of a trip to Walmart I took recently. I found a Walmart with power (as did most of the people in the area) and I went inside with my kiddo to get some new movies. They had the heat on like 500 degrees, it was nice but not for a winter coat situation so I took it off. I had on a shirt that was V-neckish and very thin cotton and short sleeved (ok no power, no laundry, slim pickings for wardrobe!) - much better! As I was walking along, I noticed people were looking at me - I figured they were thinking, "this poor gal needs to buy a coat/long sleeve shirt/sweat shirt" ya know cause I had the short sleeved one on and it was 10 degrees out. I didn't know until I GOT BACK HOME that it was my gorgeous bra and boobie cleavage they were starring at!! Omg, my shirts have gotten so big and long I hadn't noticed when I had put it on, or when I had my coat on OR in the 500 degree store - but I was giving everyone a show :sad: :wink2:

I was The Walmart Tramp and I didnt' even know it.

wingsfly825

12-20-2008, 06:48 AM

Lmao...Well at least you were the wall mart tramp that got so thin your shirt was too big and not the tramp that got so big her shirt got too small...thanks for the morning chuckle...

GirlyGirl

12-20-2008, 09:00 AM

Shel, thats so funny! But it is funny how as our body changes, our head still thinks the old way. You would not have even thought to straighten things out with your shirt because the eyes inside your head still see that big girl you once were.

That's going to mess you up for a while...but your inner eyes will eventually get their focus...

redgrldj

12-20-2008, 09:46 AM

OMG That is hilarious.. Better that your shirt is too big than too small.. I see women ( my sis included) who think they still fit in the size they wore 5 yrs ago LOL...

Kitty

12-20-2008, 09:56 AM

hehehhee...."Walmart Tramp"....such a great visual chuckle....thanks!

Kitty

12-20-2008, 09:56 AM

and....does that count as an "NSV" for you?

kristina

12-20-2008, 11:47 AM

too funny! i walked through walmart with a garter belt in full view...and fishnet stalkings with a black mini dress when i was 18. i really really was the walmart tramp. and that was in georgia..let me assure u..if looks could kill..i would be 10 feet under! LMAO!!!

glad to hear ur fill went well..dont be surprised if u don't have much restriction with ur first...

and congrats on the weight loss...that is WONDERFUL!!!

Kitty

12-20-2008, 01:13 PM

I love you guys so much with the whole Walmart Tramp thing...it's so funny!

newlifeat57

12-20-2008, 11:19 PM

.......but I was giving everyone a show :sad: :wink2:

I was The Walmart Tramp and I didnt' even know it.

Lmao...Well at least you were the wall mart tramp that got so thin your shirt was too big and not the tramp that got so big her shirt got too small...thanks for the morning chuckle...

I am sitting here L M A O You guys are so funny. What a way to end my day..... Thanx guys for the visuals.... I'm still gigglin'

maggieD

12-21-2008, 08:08 PM

Hey Shelly... I hope you are getting settled back into your home after having to be gone due to the weather... Getting ready for Christmas?

~Shelly~

12-22-2008, 09:19 PM

Hi Maggie - YES! My tree is almost completed!

So... I'm so confused about this restriction business. I have 3cc's in, my first fill. What is it supposed to feel like? I mean, I read about Pbing, and slimming and all that jazz - but is this supposed to happen to prove that you have good restriction?

I eat until I feel not hungry anymore. This is a hard thing for me to judge. I've haven't felt "full" as I used to know it since I got banded. I feel hungry when it's time for a meal and I rarely feel hungry otherwise. My head feels hungry sometimes... know what I mean? But I don't feed it food anymore!

Good restriction is more about feeling full on small amounts of food and gradual weight loss right? Like today for breakfast I had my protein scoop, 8oz of simply smart skim, 1/2 of FF cottage cheese and 1/4 of banana all mixed in a shake. I always have this for breakfast because it's a busy time for me. For lunch I had 1 and 1/2, 1 oz turkey meatballs I made last night (I had two on my plate and couldn't eat the other half), 1/2c of salad with romaine, carrot and radish. I ate until I didn't feel hungry anymore, but not pressure in my chest, I didn't spit up or get slimy in my mouth.

So is this ok? I don't know what I'm supposed to feel like lol. What does proper restriction feel like?

~Shelly~

12-22-2008, 09:28 PM

In other news I bought a pair of those spanx things tonight. I tried them on over my panties and I don't love them at all. I feel... I dunno but I didn't like it. lol I wonder if I can return them, I forgot to ask!

I also bought new smaller pants and shirts. My biggest jeans are a 28 and my shirts were 26/28 - I tried these on yesterday and it was quite a sight. Lane Bryant (which I affectionately call the Fat Lady Store) changed their sizing since then to like 1-8 and colors and shapes - whatever lol so I don't know the conversion but today I bought a Red Triangle petite 5 (I have some that are a 7 from the beginning of the summer that I was trying to still wear... ) and a shirt 18/20. Not bad at all.

In closing (I've always wanted to say that) I'm worried about my boobies. I'm afraid that at some point I'll be able to stick my nipple into my belly button and then what will I do! I wish there was a specil boobie exercise I could do, for the actual boob. My butt, I'm afraid will never go away - that's fine a guess... baby got back.

Mwah!

newlifeat57

12-22-2008, 09:41 PM

... I'm so confused about this restriction business. I have 3cc's in, my first fill. What is it supposed to feel like? I mean, I read about Pbing, and slimming and all that jazz - but is this supposed to happen to prove that you have good restriction?

For some people there isn't much difference as to how they feel with their first fill. You might find as you try different foods, that there are specific foods that just don't work. With me, i found that I had trouble at the beginning with lettuce--of all things.

... I eat until I feel not hungry anymore. This is a hard thing for me to judge. I've haven't felt "full" as I used to know it since I got banded.

Now that you are banded you won't have that overstuffed full feeling...at least I didn't. Just be sure to eat your protein first. I found that i ate less if I did that. For example, Spaghetti.....I ate the protein fist (meatball, or meat sauce), then I ate some veggies, then I came back to the spaghetti and ate some of the pasta and meat sauce. When I did that I ate less. Be sure to take 20 min. I was told to stop eating after 30 min.

... I My head feels hungry sometimes... know what I mean? But I don't feed it food anymore!

good for you!!! I think that is half the battle for every single bandster!

... Good restriction is more about feeling full on small amounts of food and gradual weight loss right? Like today for breakfast I had my protein scoop, 8oz of simply smart skim, 1/2 of FF cottage cheese and 1/4 of banana all mixed in a shake. I always have this for breakfast because it's a busy time for me. For lunch I had 1 and 1/2, 1 oz turkey meatballs I made last night (I had two on my plate and couldn't eat the other half), 1/2c of salad with romaine, carrot and radish. I ate until I didn't feel hungry anymore, but not pressure in my chest, I didn't spit up or get slimy in my mouth.

So is this ok? I don't know what I'm supposed to feel like lol. What does proper restriction feel like?

It looks like you are doing great. Your amounts will change with each fill. After each fill, you will need to remember to serve yourself less and less. Start out small and then if you're still hungry get more.

Proper restriction will only allow you to eat about 1/4-1/2 c. of food and you will not be hungry for 3-4 or more hours. You'll find out that there are times when you just feel like you should be eating more. Just remember to take your time and savor every bite as if that was going to be your last bite and give your body a chance to tell you that you cannot take another bite. Because that restriction often came on suddenly for me. I sometimes had to spit out my last bite. I didn't wait long enough to see if I was full.

I hope this all helped you a little

sprintmom

12-22-2008, 09:46 PM

Shelly,
you look WONDERFUL I have been through alot myself, I gotted banded this past Oct. 23rd and love my band, my starting wt was 232 I now wt 198, we can do this together. your awsome

ella

wingsfly825

12-22-2008, 11:14 PM

Ella congrats on entering onderland you must be so thrilled..im so happy for you , your doing awesome

wingsfly825

12-22-2008, 11:25 PM

Shelly it sounds to me like you have good restriction. Eating the amounts your eating and staying satisfied till your next meal is what you are looking for. As far as feeling full the way you used to, i havent felt full like that since banded, i called it the thanksgiving feeling like i was gonna pop. Thats great you dont feed into your head hunger i have to admit i feed mine sometimes. Now as far as tucking the ole nipples into your belly button , theres a certain amount of exercise you can do but i think when we lose so much weight the only thing bringing back those babies is the old lift and plant. I also worry about how putrid the ole stomach is gonna look cause as the weight comes off it gets wrinklier ( not sure if thats a word or not but you know what i mean). But your young like kristina and you exercise alot like her, im sure you will look lot better than you think when you reach your goal. Hell you didnt think you were beautiful now and you are so maybe when your at goal you can ask us what we think instead of being your own judge..you may have had your eyes done but we see you alot clearer..isnt that the case with us all ,we judge ourselves way to harshly... so keep up the great work. just remember since your shirts are getting tooooo big chances are you could use a new bra its amazing how your boobies look when they are held up right.. sorry your couch is just so damm comfortable i figured id sit awhile..smooches

~Shelly~

12-24-2008, 10:42 AM

Thanks girls!

So a quick ponder here....

When you're fat and miserable because of it - you put that vibe out there. It's an ugly vibe in my opinion. I felt badly and ugly and gross about myself so that's what other people saw too... perhaps.

Now that's I'm down 50lbs I am feeling prettier, less gross, and less ugly. I'm happier with myself. I think I'm putting that out there now.

So do you think this makes a HUGE difference in how we are treated? Like before this week, I can't remember the last time a man held the door for me. I can't remember the last time anyone looked at me for more than a second in passing, never mind smile. I refused to think everyone is crappy and hates fat people, so it has to be what YOU put out there, what YOU think about yourself...

As we lose weight, people see a happy person, perhaps holding your head high, walking with pep in your step cause you can breathe because you're not carrying the 50lbs that you had been. Perhaps people feel/see that you are kinda liking this new, slightly smaller body and perhaps they feel/see that you feel more attractive and so you become more attractive (in general) to others? Am I rambling? Indeed!

I like having the door held for me, that makes me smile. Then I go and thank him profusely like a psychopath because for me, it's was about a lot more than holding the door...

~Shelly~

12-24-2008, 10:44 AM

Ella CONGRATS on being in the 100's that is AMAZING! Thank you for the compliment! We are so lucky to have this band available to us!

~Shelly~

12-24-2008, 10:47 AM

Kitty

12-24-2008, 10:59 AM

You are doing so well! Congrats and stop worrying! I love your take on the "what you put out there" theory. I think you are right on about it. People definately respond to your vibe and it's great that yours is so positive now. Enjoy and have a Merry Christmas!

wingsfly825

12-24-2008, 11:38 AM

I love your new pic......

wingsfly825

12-24-2008, 11:39 AM

Yes i agree about when we are miserable about how we look we send that vibe. Now that we are feeling better about ourselves , we take a little more time with our hair and makeup and we wear a smile.. girl you havent seen anything yet as more weight falls off more doors will be held open ..so they can sneak a peak at your booty...lol

kristina

12-24-2008, 07:48 PM

kristina

12-24-2008, 07:50 PM

...but the hubby doesn't like this new attention...and out of everyone he has become the least complimentory..he is now more self-conscience about his own looks...i am pretty sure he is really afraid. and that makes me sad. :(

Nick N Ava's Grammy

12-24-2008, 08:13 PM

I'm soooo sorry to hear that Kristina.. do you think some of it was when that jerk told Ed that when a wife loses weight they want a divorce? I just wondered.

~Shelly~

12-24-2008, 08:59 PM

Kristina, my DH is the same way. He is afraid, he is always asking me if I'm going to leave him when I get thin. I am hurt that he thinks I'm that shallow - but part of me thinks that isn't it at all... it's not about me, it's about him.

Whenever I ask him if he sees a difference, I get.. "You've always been gorgeous in my eyes." which is fab and all but not exactly what I'm looking for. So because he isn't a mind reader, I told him - I'm looking for you to say, "Yes, I see a difference and I'm so proud of you."

Not sure he will ever say that but, I can say I tried lol.

Hugs babe.

newlifeat57

12-25-2008, 08:51 AM

Shelly, I love your new avatar. You look fabulous!!! You just keep on reassuring your DH and showing him in every way possible that he is yours and you're there to stay. He'll get the picture.

luvs and blessing on this fabulous Christmas morning......

bgrand

12-25-2008, 09:05 AM

i agree with ur pondering Shelly...i think we must act differently...i never thought anyone was mean to me..but i am def. getting alot more male attention...ALOT more. they just make themselves far more available..and i think it is BECAUSE i DO look better. i really do. they were never mean- but they certainly weren't as accommodating...LOL!

Yep, and lots more attention will come. I initially gained weight after my divorce. I went from 120 pounds to 180 on purpose. With my ex coming out of the closet, i couldn't handle all the male attention I was getting. At that time I thought all men were gay too and they just didn't know it. That was in 1986. Then in 2001 when i had bypass surgery, i was 299. Not getting any attention at all from men.....LOL
Then the weight came off, and because i had not dealt with having positive male attention, i think that had something to do with weight regain. So now lapband surgery and weight off, and i can handle male attention without the need to go and eat or sabatage.
Talk about going full circle!!

Anyway Kristina, lots of male attention will come. BF like many others mate initially went through the insecure thing. Be patient and reassuring to ED and silently enjoy all the attention. LOL

wingsfly825

12-25-2008, 11:38 PM

So i read the last few posts about hubby's getting insecure about how great we are looking . Tonite it was funny cause i got on b2g and my bf was sitting next to me and said Hey you took me out of the advatar..Hmm thats how it all starts. well i laughed and showed him i put him in my album lol. Shelly i dont believe your husband thinks your shallow , i believe in his eyes you were beautiful before and now you are becoming stunning so that makes his insecurities as a man come to the surface , he is just afraid someone better will come along and wisk you off your feet. Krisitna i think ed feels the same. As they notice more men looking at you they panic because they know they arent perfect. Lets not forget these are men that always found us desireable. My bf who at one time i worked with would tell me how many guys had a crush on me or he would catch guys looking at me when we were out. Not as many times as he thought at least 50 pounds ago not that many. I have had to put up with my bf being flirted with where ever we went. These woman were blantant about it. That is really hard to deal with when your sitting there hundred pounds over weight feeling like a frump and this woman who has a better body is flaunting what she has. But he chose me because of who i am. Your husbands did the same. Maybe we need to be a little patient trying to put ourselves in their shoes. Sometimes men need a little more assurance than we do. I tell my bf everyday how much he turns me on , when he thinks i look hot which is alot lately i tell him thanks i was hoping you noticed. Maybe take a little time just being with him . start dating. it can only help the relationship. Right now my bf is sleeping. I told him to rest ill be waking him up lol. When you lose 50 pounds you definitely feel oh so sexy , they feel it and other men see it. BUt thats ok cause we are losing for US and if we get some more attention along the way so be it. But whats in our hearts stand strong.. A little extra attention isnt going to sway your heart it will only sway how well you write what you bite... Ok so i rambled but i just thought id share my opinion.....big hugs

kat

12-26-2008, 08:12 AM

How have I missed this thread!?! Lots of good stuff...
Now that Christmas is over, I gotta get real again. Too many cookies, too much wassail :happy0170:, too little exercise, no restriction. A BAD combo!

kristina

12-26-2008, 01:04 PM

i havent been here in awhile either...thanks for all of the helpful comments guys...i think only time will tell them we arent going anywhere!
a little tiny part of me likes that he is worried...really! cause i have "worried" myself for the last 9 years--when i got fat!! i have whispered in his ear...now u know how i have felt..when i got fat..and you stayed thin, and gorgeous...u have 3 kids and look exactly the same after having them...i got married looking like barbie--had kids and turned into shrek. LOL! i am sorry for that..but so happy that i am coming back...
so its nice to know that he gets it now...i dont rub it in..i still have a long way to go..but a little bit of that cant hurt our marriage....only make us stronger!
hope everyone had a great christmas!

wingsfly825

12-26-2008, 01:17 PM

I agree krisitna...when They are soo sure about us they get complacent this way a little nervousness keeps them on their toes...

kristina

12-26-2008, 01:23 PM

Teresa-uh huh. if we can survive me getting fat..we can certainly survive me getting skinny! LOL!

wingsfly825

12-26-2008, 01:24 PM

More fun surviving you getting skinny chica

~Shelly~

12-27-2008, 08:21 PM

So I went to Christmas dinner at my Mother's today - all my sibs and their spouses/kids, and my aunt and cousins... none of these people know I got banded or that I was even considering it. They don't know because I'm hard enough on myself, and I set very high expectations for me - I don't need people that know nothing about WLS to put added pressure. So, they don't know.

They did notice my WL though and that was exciting. When I'm asked, "How are you doing it?" I tell the truth, "I changed my diet, reduces my intake, and got off my ass." I don't think that's lying!

So I was wondering the whole drive down how I would mask how little I eat when every year up until now I have my plate heaping over with food and than go back for more. I thought about my 3yr old, who would much rather play then eat. I filled a plate with mostly turkey, squash, and peas - and added some rice and stuffing and pineapple. I popped him on my lap and we shared :) He picked, I ate my protein and veg and no one knew!

Cheese cake and Italian cookies were SO hard to pass up - I actually took a bite of one but ended up going in the bathroom and spitting it out deciding it just wasn't worth it. Imagine? I came home and ate a 60cal, fat free chocolate pudding instead.

So that was my day.

My restriction is wierd. It's there and I can feel things moving passed my band and it feels so strange. It's really SO HARD for me not to drink for 90m after I eat because I hate leaving the taste in my mouth, or bits of food (gross I know, sorry). I thought today that brushing my teeth and rinsing my mouth would be a fab idea after I eat. So, that's my plan!

kristina

12-27-2008, 09:50 PM

Shelly its a wonderful plan! and u did great at ur first family outing! i chose not to tell my family as well...my mom knows but thats it...well hubby told mil too but shes pretty quiet...
anyway i told people here...like my church folks...cause we are army and we will move and i will never see them again...let me tell u..it just reiterated WHY i didn't tell..u would not believe how interested people are in my diet..what i eat..how much i eat..how much weight i have lost...there is one couple that straight up took us out to dinner...just to watch me eat. and TOLD me! and then had the nerve to say...i didn't know u could eat that much..i ate 1 egg, the top of a biscuit with gravy and a link sausage...this was about a month ago...its almost Funny how different people treat me that know...almost....LOL...i am just glad i don't have to deal with those for the rest of my life...cause my real folks don't know..the family i always go home to in GA don't have a clue...
anyway..i am super proud of u...u did good girlie!!! no wonder u have lost 55 pounds so fast!!!

newlifeat57

12-27-2008, 10:47 PM

Shelly, Either i didn't realize or i just plain forgot..... 55lbs!!!!???? Holy cow. You have done fantastic.

I haven't told many people either. My sister and my neice and nephews know, and 4 friends know. That's it. My sister and friends are the most supportive of all. I think I am almost sorry i told my neice and nephews. They are expecting BIG changes almost over night. I think they may even be disappointed. They are young (23-32yrs) and have never had a weight problem.

You did great in what you told your family about your diet. Way to go!

Nick N Ava's Grammy

12-27-2008, 11:22 PM

anyway i told people here...like my church folks...cause we are army and we will move and i will never see them again...let me tell u..it just reiterated WHY i didn't tell..u would not believe how interested people are in my diet..what i eat..how much i eat..how much weight i have lost...there is one couple that straight up took us out to dinner...just to watch me eat. and TOLD me! and then had the nerve to say...i didn't know u could eat that much..i ate 1 egg, the top of a biscuit with gravy and a link sausage...this was about a month ago...its almost Funny how different people treat me that know...almost....LOL...i am just glad i don't have to deal with those for the rest of my life...cause my real folks don't know..the family i always go home to in GA don't have a clue...
Ya know Kristina.. my nurse addressed this (friends taking you out just so they can see how much you eat) at one of the meetings I went to. She said it's amazing how nosey everyone gets, just because you're changing. I can see some of my friends watching me too when I'm eating.. and when they see me eating something I'm not suppose to eat, they really don't say anything,.. which I'm so thankful for.. but then I feel guilty because I feel I have to be perfect because I had surgery to lose weight and I'm struggling so much. It's a cycle and I hate it.

P.S. Shelly.. I'm so glad your house is so accommodating with all of us spread out like a weeks laundry spilling our guts :) I think I might move in ;)

~Shelly~

12-28-2008, 07:43 AM

You all can move in :)

spag1952

12-28-2008, 08:25 AM

I discovered this thread a few days ago and bookmarked it immediately. Thanks for making room for me on the couch, Shelly and keep on posting. I love your insight into the band process. I was banded on 11/21/08 and got my first fill on 12/22. It's amazing how much my experience has mirrored yours, along with a lot of others on here, I see.

Happy New Year to everyone.

spag1952

12-28-2008, 08:48 AM

Shelly, none of us have a perfect family. I have good friends, co-workers, and family that have done drugs both legal and illegal and drank too much alcohol. Heck, I have been a dedicated pot smoker myself, and not too long ago. Pot is the thing I blame for my weight problem more than anything else over my lifetime off and on... and also my serious problem over the years with stress eating. I've always used food as my "frayed nerves" drug. My first husband, my sons' father, left us because he came out as gay, and eventually died in the '80s as one of the first victims of AIDS in NC. And the weird thing is, I was raised in a very religious Baptist family and lived the perfect little princess lifestyle with two loving parents and a very close knit extended family who all lived very close by. Think "it takes a village" when the village is all related. Go figure how my live became such an unorthodox mixed bag after I grew up.

I guess the point is that weight gain can come on for a thousand different reasons, and weight loss can be just as mixed up an experience as putting it on. However, I believe that my life going forward will be a much more sane affair taking it off and getting myself healthy. It only gets better from here for me.

~Shelly~

12-28-2008, 10:11 AM

I was sorting old clothes and found the outfit I wore the night before surgery. The ridiculous one.... lol so I put it on and took pics and also a pair of jeans from August. I don't know how to put them side by side but the before surgery ones are on my first page for anyone interested in a comparison. I don't find it all that different really. Oh and I hadn't showered yet, so forgive my appearance lol. :P

Wow I can't believe I'm posting pictures of my fat self, never mind without a bra. GOODNESS.

kristina

12-28-2008, 01:06 PM

I guess the point is that weight gain can come on for a thousand different reasons, and weight loss can be just as mixed up an experience as putting it on.

oh my gosh....i love love love this saying....so very true.

shelly- i cant see the pics yet..i will be back.

newlifeat57

12-28-2008, 03:35 PM

WOW.... Look at you.... you're shrinking..... You must feel so very proud of yourself. I am!!!

Congratulations. Those jeans would be good before and during jeans to take pictures in. Don't throw them out. I have one pair that I'm saving and will be taking a picture of me in them when they start to really hang on me... Can't wait!!!

kristina

12-28-2008, 10:42 PM

check U OUT! the shrinking shelly!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

i can totally tell a difference..i went back and looked..and yes u can tell so much!!! just look at those jeans girl!!!!

wingsfly825

12-28-2008, 10:51 PM

I also agree with above said but want to add Wow you look good without makeup..shooooooooooooot

kristina

12-28-2008, 10:58 PM

hey---aint that the truth tersa...u wont catch me without makeup!!! s-c-a-r-y!

wingsfly825

12-28-2008, 11:00 PM

I doubt that kristina...

kristina

12-28-2008, 11:07 PM

girl u could land a plane in my pores...yuck!

wingsfly825

12-28-2008, 11:38 PM

Didnt i read on the philosophy thread they have a good cleanser for large pores...Ask betty she is the philosphy girl

redgrldj

12-28-2008, 11:40 PM

Witch hazel will shrink pores.. it feels really good when kept cold in the fridge.. it is great on cotton pads to help get rid of bags under your eyes too..

GirlyGirl

12-29-2008, 02:46 PM

HI Shelly, Hi everyone! Just trying to catch up on all my subscribed threads....whew..my punishment for not staying in touch!

Shelly you are looking great!

Happy New Year!

wingsfly825

12-30-2008, 07:57 AM

Hey shelly.........hows it going?

brwneyedbeauty

12-30-2008, 08:29 AM

Shelly you look great~!!!!! Keep up the great work!!

Cheri

~Shelly~

12-30-2008, 08:36 PM

Thank you guys :)

I'm so weepy today. I'd say I was having PMS but since I got my IUD in Aug, I never have a real period. This is all so overwhelming. Old habits die hard a bite of this, a taste of that when making other people's plates/food... and I even though I catch myself and don't swallow what ever it was I put in my mouth, I get really upset when I think about how disgusting I am/was/will have been with my poor body. I never even thought about what I ate, didn't look at how many calories or fat was in it, I didn't care at all. Food made me feel so good, even if it was for 5m. I'm so ashamed of that.

You know how some people are good in the moment, and then fall apart after? That's me. The holidays were so rough for me, so many feelings of sadness, memories I'd rather leave buried, being around people that make me want to jab a hot poker in my eye... and I held it all together and didn't hide my head in a cheese cake. But now, I'm spent I think.

I think it's hard to replace the old habits with something new, something healthy. It's hard to meet emotions you've not dealt with for years, and then try and find a new way to deal.

I know you guys know what I'm talking about :)

Nick N Ava's Grammy

12-30-2008, 08:51 PM

Yep I sure do Shelly.. I've actually began to see the psych Dr that interviewed me for the process of being banded. Of course it's one visit, but he's suggested I talk to my nut and he wants to sit in on the meeting so he can help me too. That will be this coming Monday.

Hang in there Shelly.. we'll get thru this.. all of us together.. I think we should have the motto in here some where.. "no man/woman left behind" :)

kristina

12-30-2008, 09:08 PM

aww Shelly--wish i could give u a great big hug. we all have down times...and thats okay. its healthy to feel occasional sadness..its all about how u pick urself back up. this surgery is no joke! it changes how we see ourselves, our future, and others in our lives...we mourn the loss of food...but we haven't really lost it. its still there..just in smaller amounts..and instead of leaning on it...we have to find something else to lean on...not drugs or alcohol...but maybe crafts..or hot baths...or a good book...or bubble gum! (i do all of the above)
just keep coming here and telling us how u feel..we have all been there before...sometimes just writing it makes it all better.

~Shelly~

12-31-2008, 09:22 AM

Thank you Donna, and Kristina. I love you gals, it's so special to have people close by that understand. Hugs.

So dh brought me home a decaf coffee today per my request. I usually do decaf tea, but today I felt like being different. It DEFINITELY had caffeine in it!!!!!!!!!!! Omg I'm racing. On the bright side my house is spotless.

So what does that mean for my pouch :(

Won't ever get coffee again, cause I can't tell if it's decaf or not. The tea at least has a label.

redgrldj

12-31-2008, 10:08 AM

Shelly don't stress the caffiene, alot of the women here drink coffee everyday..

kristina

12-31-2008, 12:22 PM

i never drink caffeine anymore..i wish i could say the same about sugar! yikes!
u can buy the decaf coffee to have on hand--just in case u ever get the urge again..i have found hot coffee to be a great fill'er'upper when i am hungry and dont need to eat anything.
hope ur in a better mood sweets!

~Shelly~

01-02-2009, 10:32 AM

Hey gals, thank you for all your support as always. I am better today :)

I have some pictures to share :) Not sure when this dress will fit, but I think it shows some tangible progress.

kat

01-02-2009, 11:19 AM

Hey Shelly - yeah, the holidays are hard for a number of reasons. Glad you came to us to vent. Just recognizing what you've been through is an important step in the healing process. Listen to all the good advice here and just keep putting one foot in front of the other. That's what we're all doing.
P.S. you look fabulous!!

678iamgreat

01-02-2009, 12:26 PM

wingsfly825

01-02-2009, 07:05 PM

WOW...... FREAKN >>>WOW ..... You Look Absolutely GREAT !!!!!!! You should be so impressed with yourself ...i am

Nick N Ava's Grammy

01-02-2009, 07:21 PM

OMG Shelly!! You've done soooooooooo dang well!! I'm so happy for you!!!! In just a few months you're zipping that dress up!! WOW!! I know you'll be at goal before you know it. CONGRATS to you!

redgrldj

01-02-2009, 07:32 PM

Wow Shelly you have done a grea job so far.. the dress will be fitting perfect in no time..

jezziegrace

01-02-2009, 07:49 PM

Shelly....you're amazing! I'm thinking that you're gonna turn around and pick that dress up to 'try it on' again and .....the thing's gonna fall off! Keep up the good work, you're an absolute inspiration!
Jez

503-250

01-02-2009, 11:38 PM

Shelly, take more pictures in that dress soon...because you are going to be giving it away right after. You look absolutely fantastic. I love the whole progress pictures with an outfit concept...and you remind me of someone else who has done it. Go check out MamaMichelle. She is absolutely beautiful (like you) and just keeps posting these amazing before, during and afters with a specific outfit...and it's sooooo amazing watching her transform....and now you are doing the same.

Congratulations! keep up the fantastic work.

brwneyedbeauty

01-03-2009, 05:58 AM

Shelly you are looking so good! Keep up the great work!!;-)

kristina

01-03-2009, 04:11 PM

amazing--amazing---amazing!!!!!
i already posted it on ur profile...but not just the dress..u have completely altered!!! look at u hot mama!!!!!! huge differences!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
way to go girl!!!!

Mloukas143

01-03-2009, 05:00 PM

you are beautiful, heavy, skinny, tall, short, what ever...you are just a beautiful person!

newlifeat57

01-04-2009, 12:09 AM

I loved, Loved, LOVED your pictures. WOW! What a big difference. Like Kristina, I've visited your profile and seen some of these pictures. I can't believe the transformation. SOOOOOO What do you think of your pictures? Can you see the difference? You are doing such a wonderful job. You should be able to see the difference just like we have. Keep up the wonderful job.

~Shelly~

01-04-2009, 03:19 PM

I have only one moment but I wanted to answer this question because I've been thinking about it all day...

What do I think about my pictures?

Honestly, and this makes me sad - when I look at the pictures side by side I say, "Wow there is a difference there" and I can see where. But, it doesn't enter my thick skull that it is me and my changes. It's like... looking at Kristina's pictures or Mel's - someone else's pictures and seeing a difference. When I look in the mirror I do not see a difference, even when I have on clothes that were tight 2months ago and are loose now, I don't see it. I still see the 'before, day of surgery' gal.

But, I have a LONG way to go, and I'm hoping eventually I WILL see the difference in my body. I'm working on accepting me for me, and trying hard to see me as others do. I will keep saying, this is about SO MUCH more than just losing fat.

Be back later! Thank you all.

GirlyGirl

01-04-2009, 03:27 PM

Shelly I saw these pics on your profile album, As I said there, soon that will be your "little black dress"!

I also want to speak to 678iamgreat...I loved your comments to Shelly on this thread. I would love to see you start your own thread so we can all get to know you better. I for one would love to hear more about your story and your tranformation, you had me hooked... hope to see your thread soon with the post from this thread copied to it... you will inspire many of us, I can tell...

503-250

01-04-2009, 06:55 PM

What do I think about my pictures?

You think...i'm sooooo hot...damn, how do men keep their hands off of me?

I still see the 'before, day of surgery' gal.

You, like all of us (and specifically me) have a body image disorder. I never saw myself as big as I was, now to this day..I still see a huge fat guy standing in my mirror...which is odd since I know I have changed drastically. I keep a pair of sweat pants from the day that I went to surgery and occasionally I put them back on. They're in my profile...take a look when you get a chance. While you are looking at it, keep in the back of your mind that just like you...I don't see the difference from then to now.

We all see it, you have lost a lot of weight, you look fantastic and you need to keep that in mind. We all see it, for now that will have to be enough.

redgrldj

01-04-2009, 07:36 PM

Shelly it takes a long time to get past the Fat image you have of yourself.. I was over 300 pounds for a long time.. When I got sdown to the 190's I was still seeing the 300 pound me.. I havn't been 300+ in almost 10 years, but still see myself as that woman every once in awhile..

kristina

01-04-2009, 07:51 PM

well heres my take..see ur self however the heck u want to..but keep posting those hottie pictures..cause u show exactly what hard work, perseverance, and the band can actually do to a body. u look absolutely amazing.
i look in the mirror and i see nothin but beauty---i feel good..i think i look good..and then i see a picture. LMAO! and i am like...wth??? who's that chick??!!
dang..i need to go work out!!!!!
we all have weirdness. but no matter what u think...ur getting healthier..with every single pound...
ruby said today on her show..and i just may get the tattoo...
"i am gaining hope, one pound at a time." man that made me bawl!!!
this show..if anyone is not watching it...should totally watch it...and with their loved ones...cause ed is getting it...how it feels..what its like to be big...not over weight. OBESE. what thats like.
we went to the waffle house today..i never wanted to go...he was like why do u want to go? u hate the waffle house!!!
i dont hate the waffle house edward...i just couldn't fit in their booths. huh he said? he never knew.
and there are alot of head issues that go with obesity. going into a restaurant where ur kids and hubby wants to eat..and u cant fit in the booth?! i mean that does something to u.
i fit there today. i fit and i had ROOM to Move...i was so happy..and may have had only 2 eggs...but i am getting somewhere ya know? screw that waffle.
love u chica.

GirlyGirl

01-04-2009, 09:57 PM

who's Ruby, I guess I'm one of those people who are not watching ...

kristina

01-05-2009, 09:22 AM

oh my gosh..i know u have tivo..i just know it! if u dont..jeralin..i will be ashamed of u...all girls should have tivo...anyway...tivo ruby on the style channell...be sure and set it for reruns. its one of the greatest shows i have ever seen. its about this Big Beautiful woman dropping weight with her team of experts...but its reality and she is sooooo fun!

GirlyGirl

01-05-2009, 09:34 AM

I have it, had it with dish and when we move to WA have it with comcast... my husband hogs it and with comcast it sucks, it is limited to only a few hours. Anyway, I'll look it up and try to get him to record it for me. he has a list of stuff like Desperate Housewives, he got me hooked on that one. 24 starting back this month. We also love that new one Breaking Bad. We saw the first season and are waiting for the next season to start. Have you heard of Big Love on Showtime? I used to watch that one but not sure if the new season has already started. Its about a Mormon man and his multiple wives trying to live in suburbia without drawing too much attention to his lifestyle... it's pretty funny and a bit racy, but I like to watch it since my husband's family are devout Mormons. He rejected the religion as a cult years ago, but they are still steeped in it... so it's kind of funny to watch. They say they've heard of it but they say they've never watched it... like I believe that! But I digress..

kristina

01-05-2009, 09:49 AM

he will like ruby too..its such a great show..let me know when u see it k?
i am tivoing the new dance show..with all the experts..it came out last night...i havent watched it yet.
i rented those movies...the big love...i was shocked! does that really happen?

GirlyGirl

01-05-2009, 10:12 AM

I'm sure it does... I have to tell you a funny thing...

As you know I have been studying to finish my degree in Communications and last year in my English comp class I had this professor that I really liked, a female. One thing led to another and she told us in one of our discussion groups that she and her husband are swingers... and that whole semester we were totally curious about it... she told us a lot about it. She said she initiated it and now her and her husband are very involved in the "the life style" in Chicago... well for one of my research papers, I decided to do the research on the "life style". I learned that the LS was originally brought into suburbia by the military husbands and wives because in the 50's, the war, men would leave and never come back to their wives and families and this way they felt that their wives would be taken care of. So these couples would co mingle so to speak as a life style... eventually those same people went out into the regular economy and moved into neighborhoods and continued their swinging ways. But more for recreation than for necessity.

When she hooked me up with leads and resources, I found out that there is a very real underground network all over the country in every community of swingers. These people might be your banker, your hairdresser, your Real estate agent (eek!) and it is prevalent in middle and upper middle class socio economical levels.

As a Realtor, I ran into that quit often in the western suburbs of Chicago where I sold homes... they almost always have hot tubs because that's where they can have a lot of liberty with each other. My professor, who I now consider my friend said that she is an exhibitionist so she and her husband would have sex in front of people. I learned that they have rules of protocol that must be followed or you can be kicked out of the society or network... it's really quit interesting... not interesting as in I want to be like them, but interesting in that...how can they do that? What do they have to put aside in their mind and sole to do that? Can they really be objective and not get attached to someone else? For those who have lived the life style for years, why is monogamy not enough for them... there we so many questions I tried to ask in my research paper and I really tried to be of no opinion about it... I hope I saved that paper, I might go back and read it. But thought it was interesting..

kristina

01-05-2009, 10:22 AM

if u find it..send it...when ed was a commander about 6 years ago now..we had several soldiers and their wives doing that. we found out it was happening inside our company!!!! we really didn't know how to respond..i mean whats the protocol on that? the army has very strict guidelines involving adultery....but not condoned adultery!
we basically had to sit down and talk to them about the don't ask don't tell policy and thought it could relate to their circumstance. i mean the wives were together too..so thats homosexuality..and thats the way Ed approached it. that was a weird 2 years.
we were invited to a party at their house...before we knew..and we thought they were just drunk and acting stupid. we soon found out...they were doing what they always do! LOL

GirlyGirl

01-05-2009, 12:10 PM

Morals have really fallen, used to it was secretive, if they are flaunting it now... wow! That's uncouth.

I have to laugh! I am sitting here with the news on and they are talking about the person that Gov Blagoiavich appointed as Senator from Illinois and they keep saying that there is a taint over his appointment. The say he will be tainted so they keep saying their is a taint over his appointment. LOL! LOL!

My husband told me what taint means! And I don't think I would want to be remembered that way if I were that man..with that word associated with my politcal legacy!

JDru

01-05-2009, 01:45 PM

I'm just now catching up on your thread after the holidays. Shelly you look awesome!! You have much great progress in such a short amount of time. I can't wait to see what 2009 has in store for you! :)

~Shelly~

01-05-2009, 02:04 PM

Hi Shelly,

I just joined....I have had my lap band a little over a year - but just came across this site. It seems to be an awesome support network. I read your original post and sobbed. I could not help but relate to everything you said. Funny - my name is Shelly also! A year and a half ago, I was 330 lbs and at the lowest point in my life. I have a wonderful husband and three beautiful daughters...but was not a very good wife nor mother for a long time. Being that overweight stripped me of all my energy, patience, and happiness. The only emotion I had was complete sadness - sadness and embarrassment that I had let myself go. In order for my insurance to cover my procedure I had to see a therapist for behavior modification. My first visit was actually the first day of the rest of my life. I do believe that she alone saved my life. My lapband is only a tool that helps me.

In those sessions I learned to let go of so many burdens that I had carried for many years. I learned that I cannot control how others act - I could only learn how to control myself. Most of all, I learned that I am worthy - I am worthy of being loved and loving in return. I learned that many conflicts in my life were not about me at all. I learned that I needed to make ME a priority. That it is OK to take time for me everyday to exercise and revive myself. The outcome has been wonderful. I am a better wife, and an active and involved Mom. I am happy - for the first time in many many years - I am happy.

Do I still struggle? YES. Absolutely. Eating right, making right food choices, getting enough exercise will always be a challenge for me. But at the end of each day I remember how I felt before I started this awesome journey and I never ever want to go back to that dark time. I hope that remains enough to keep me on the right track.

Thank-you for sharing - I was truely moved my your story and I wish you a 2009 filled with many successes!!
Hi Shelly, thank you so much for your post. YOU are an inspiration, I can't wait to get to know you better. You talk about making time for you, this is a hard thing to do isn't it? Someplace along the way we decided it's ok to suffer some. It's not ok. Making time for us makes us better mothers, wives, fathers, husbands, children, people and friends. So I try to feel more guilty about not giving my kiddo and DH the very best of me (by making time for me to do what I need to) and less guilty about taking that time. You know? There is guilt regardless lol so I try to put a spin on it lol Thank you for your kind words and support Shelly. *hugs*

WOW...... FREAKN >>>WOW ..... You Look Absolutely GREAT !!!!!!! You should be so impressed with yourself ...i am
Thank you Teresa!!!!!!!!!!

OMG Shelly!! You've done soooooooooo dang well!! I'm so happy for you!!!! In just a few months you're zipping that dress up!! WOW!! I know you'll be at goal before you know it. CONGRATS to you!
Thank you Donna! I can't wait til my rolls and bumps are GONE! :)

Wow Shelly you have done a grea job so far.. the dress will be fitting perfect in no time..
Thank you Pattie!

Shelly....you're amazing! I'm thinking that you're gonna turn around and pick that dress up to 'try it on' again and .....the thing's gonna fall off! Keep up the good work, you're an absolute inspiration!
Jez
Thanks Jez I can't wait until it falls off LOL

Shelly, take more pictures in that dress soon...because you are going to be giving it away right after. You look absolutely fantastic. I love the whole progress pictures with an outfit concept...and you remind me of someone else who has done it. Go check out MamaMichelle. She is absolutely beautiful (like you) and just keeps posting these amazing before, during and afters with a specific outfit...and it's sooooo amazing watching her transform....and now you are doing the same.

Congratulations! keep up the fantastic work.
Thanks Bear, I stole Michelle's idea, I was floored by her transformation and so inspired and I thought her dress idea was the coolest ever! Thank you for the compliments :)

Shelly you are looking so good! Keep up the great work!!;-)
Thank you Cheri!!

amazing--amazing---amazing!!!!!
i already posted it on ur profile...but not just the dress..u have completely altered!!! look at u hot mama!!!!!! huge differences!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
way to go girl!!!!
Hot mama, I think not lol but thanks Kristina!

you are beautiful, heavy, skinny, tall, short, what ever...you are just a beautiful person!
Thank you Melissa, you're so sweet. :) *hugs*

I'm just now catching up on your thread after the holidays. Shelly you look awesome!! You have much great progress in such a short amount of time. I can't wait to see what 2009 has in store for you! :)
Thank you Jessica! Hope your holidays were fabulous!

~Shelly~

01-05-2009, 02:15 PM

You think...i'm sooooo hot...damn, how do men keep their hands off of me?

You, like all of us (and specifically me) have a body image disorder. I never saw myself as big as I was, now to this day..I still see a huge fat guy standing in my mirror...which is odd since I know I have changed drastically. I keep a pair of sweat pants from the day that I went to surgery and occasionally I put them back on. They're in my profile...take a look when you get a chance. While you are looking at it, keep in the back of your mind that just like you...I don't see the difference from then to now.

We all see it, you have lost a lot of weight, you look fantastic and you need to keep that in mind. We all see it, for now that will have to be enough.
I have looked at your pictures, well before I was banded (I think I've seen everyone's lol) and you are amazing. For me, this head stuff is far more difficult than not eating pizza and cheeseburgers everyday. Thanks Bear.

Shelly it takes a long time to get past the Fat image you have of yourself.. I was over 300 pounds for a long time.. When I got sdown to the 190's I was still seeing the 300 pound me.. I havn't been 300+ in almost 10 years, but still see myself as that woman every once in awhile..
Pattie what helps? My biggest fear going into this journey is that I was going to SEE a fat girl forever.

well heres my take..see ur self however the heck u want to..but keep posting those hottie pictures..cause u show exactly what hard work, perseverance, and the band can actually do to a body. u look absolutely amazing.
i look in the mirror and i see nothin but beauty---i feel good..i think i look good..and then i see a picture. LMAO! and i am like...wth??? who's that chick??!!
dang..i need to go work out!!!!!
we all have weirdness. but no matter what u think...ur getting healthier..with every single pound...
ruby said today on her show..and i just may get the tattoo...
"i am gaining hope, one pound at a time." man that made me bawl!!!
this show..if anyone is not watching it...should totally watch it...and with their loved ones...cause ed is getting it...how it feels..what its like to be big...not over weight. OBESE. what thats like.
we went to the waffle house today..i never wanted to go...he was like why do u want to go? u hate the waffle house!!!
i dont hate the waffle house edward...i just couldn't fit in their booths. huh he said? he never knew.
and there are alot of head issues that go with obesity. going into a restaurant where ur kids and hubby wants to eat..and u cant fit in the booth?! i mean that does something to u.
i fit there today. i fit and i had ROOM to Move...i was so happy..and may have had only 2 eggs...but i am getting somewhere ya know? screw that waffle.
love u chica.
Love you too girl. I wish DH would watch Ruby, he sure would learn something. But also I don't tell DH stuff either about being fat. He doesn't know I never wanted to go to FL to see his parents because I was afraid I couldn't buckle the seat belt on the plane or need to buy two seats. Or that I didn't want to go horse back riding because I took pity on the poor horse who got my fat ass and I was afraid he's collapse! They don't get it, but part of it is because I think we don't tell because of embarrassment. You know? I think in his mind an obese person was someone that couldn't get out of bed or move because of their weight. He never knew what I weighed at my highest or even at surgery until the other day when I told him. Anyhow, I'm rambling!

redgrldj

01-05-2009, 02:33 PM

Shelly.. it just happens.. One day you will walk by a mirror or the window of a store ok have an "OMG" moment.. When you realize that skinny reflection is you..

I would also let your hubby know what it is like to be you and why you are afraid to do things.. Keep open communication, because by keeping some of these things to yourself, you are denying yourself his support .. You are also denying him the chance to support you..

kristina

01-05-2009, 06:52 PM

aww..dont feel bad..i didnt tell ed either....i am just now opening up about how it feels...and what its like..because its leaving me..this obesity thing is leaving..and its leaving u too...that alone gives us courage. it takes time to accept this new life...this new lifestyle...for ALL of us...them...and us.
its going to keep getting better. i just know it!

maggieD

01-05-2009, 08:36 PM

I am learning something everyday about myself ... some of it good some not so good... but every evening.. my poor husband :) gets to hear about my new discovery etc and sometimes he has good feedback and sometimes not so great but... the communication is always there... And I so love him for it... but after having said all that... i still vent here, question myself here... there is some kind of freedom in it...Thanks guys!!!

kristina

01-05-2009, 08:41 PM

maggie---so much freedom!

newlifeat57

01-05-2009, 09:55 PM

I am learning something everyday about myself ... some of it good some not so good...... i still vent here, question myself here... there is some kind of freedom in it...Thanks guys!!!

I agree, Maggie. Shelly's couch is so very comfy..... It seems I always have to bring tissue, when I come here. The love and compassion runs thick on this couch. I love it!!! Everyone is so very open with their feelings that I am always deeply touched at the freedom we have to vent and know that there is no judgement--here on Shelly's couch.....

kristina

01-06-2009, 10:34 AM

i love shellys couch!

maggieD

01-06-2009, 02:06 PM

yea me too.... move over... :)

GirlyGirl

01-06-2009, 02:39 PM

Me too!!!!!!!!!

~Shelly~

01-07-2009, 04:31 PM

Hello!

So I'm not un-hungry. I made an appt for a fill for tomorrow, at 130. I'm still losing weight, and I hope they listen to me when I tell them it's from sheer will power and that I NEED that 1cc they didn't put in the first time.

Wish me luck!

GirlyGirl

01-07-2009, 04:35 PM

Shelly, just tell them that. Tell them that you are hungry all the time, and that you are just doing it on your own but that you are about to crack! About to go off the deep end, to the point of no return! All the drama should do it!

I had .1 taken out.. I was just a bit too tight. I weight in at 194 though so I have been doing well, but when you are too tight, you can be diverted to bad foods when you can't hold down food and then sabotage your weight loss. I feel so good right now...I have found out just how bad it can be to be over filled!

Good luck Shelly!

kristina

01-07-2009, 04:57 PM

shell..let us know how the appointment went, k?

wingsfly825

01-08-2009, 05:42 AM

good luck with the appointment shelly...

~Shelly~

01-08-2009, 01:04 PM

Hi everyone!

Well she gave me my 1cc, fantastic! I hope this helps! I keep burping if that is any indication.

Anyhow, lovely liquids for 24h an then we shall see.

kristina

01-08-2009, 02:53 PM

burping is a good sign! LOL! really--it is!

newlifeat57

01-08-2009, 03:25 PM

....lovely liquids for 24h an then we shall see.

Lucky Ducky...... I have to do liquids for 2 days. then move to softer solids.... Hope you feel good restriction. Shelly, you are really rockin with the weighloss so far--keep on rockin.

GirlyGirl

01-08-2009, 03:39 PM

Good luck with the fill!

If the burping continues it can also be a sign of being too tight, that might not be the case for you, but that was my experience.

newlifeat57

01-08-2009, 07:44 PM

Shelly..burping is good... Did you find that you have to adjust you eating hapits a bit? you may need to take smaller bites smaller swallows, and smaller servings.. That's what i'm finding out. I have the memory of a gnat......hm m m m Do gnats have memories???

kristina

01-08-2009, 07:53 PM

again- ur the teacher mel. i can eat anything. i even took a big honkin horse pill. :pound:

~Shelly~

01-08-2009, 08:03 PM

Uhm if I add some ff milk to sf, ff pudding - can it be a liquid??!?!??!:elephant:

newlifeat57

01-08-2009, 08:04 PM

Well, I have restriction....and some days those honkin horse pills go down pretty easy. But then again... this is only day 2 of my recent fill. We'll see..... I'm hungry.... I'm attacking some beans, lots of cheese....

kristina

01-08-2009, 08:22 PM

shelly...as long as u could suck it through a straw--yes!

~Shelly~

01-08-2009, 08:24 PM

Sweet! I want me some milky puddin'!

kristina

01-08-2009, 08:25 PM

lol--enjoy pretty girl.

chrispygal

01-09-2009, 04:28 AM

Shelly, I'm just seeing all your pictures now and you look great! There is a significant difference in your photos. Congrats!!! You've been really disciplined and working very hard right from the start. That is the surefire recipe for success! Great job!

GirlyGirl

01-09-2009, 07:06 AM

HI Shelly, are you still feeling good after your fill? I sure feel better since getting that .1 taken out!

Mel was adding that burping is good, I should clarify what I meant.... when I was too tight, there was an odd constant small little air burp that would come out. It was because I was so tight that not enough air or much liquid or anything could go get through. You will notice it if you are too tight, it is different from the regular burps that are part of our experience. I hope you don't expereince this, but I thought I would warn you, I wish I had known and maybe I would not have almost dehydrated myself...my fill nurse said if you are burping a lot, like I described, or if you are having heart burn or acid reflux or if you wake up strangling on your saliva or can't eat at least 2 or 3 oz of protien at a sitting then you might be too tight.

Doesn't sound like you have to worry about this.

Have a great day! You're lookin' good!

kristina

01-09-2009, 09:10 AM

so sorry ur puddin didnt work out..sound slike u have some good restriction!

GirlyGirl

01-09-2009, 09:40 AM

Kristina,

Love Spidy's moves. Now we we know how he stays in shape!

kristina

01-09-2009, 09:48 AM

i call him- my friendly neighborhood gay spider-man. :)

~Shelly~

01-09-2009, 08:03 PM

So.... wanna hear something funny!? Not funny haha, just hmmmm funny!

In Jan or 08 the most fab NP at my doctor's office left. So I had an appt with the new NP for a sinus infection. First this she says to me is, "Wow, we need to get some of this weight off you." Hello? You think? So, I said... "Oh hi, nice to meet you too! You think I'm fat?? Oh my goodness!" and I put my face in my hands and pretended to weep. :P ;)

After that visit we were good friends. I saw her lots because of chronic sinus infections (which I might add I haven't had one since my band) and BP checks. She talked me into the South Beach Diet in Jan 08 and going to the gym. I started losing weight but man oh man was it slow.

A few months later, I told her I was thinking about the band. She said she thought it was a good idea. I haven't seen her since then, because I've been seeing the doctors at my Center with all the tests etc in preparation for the band.

Well, all this to tell you... next Tuesday I have a physical with her. Can I tell you how EXCITED I am to see her?! Hell, in past visits I've fought about getting on the scale... and this time, I'm going to RUN to it and jump on the dam thing and say. "Yeah baby, look at that number!" Then I am going to turn to her and say, "Look, look I got some of that weight off me!" :P

Ha!

Nick N Ava's Grammy

01-09-2009, 08:17 PM

Ohhh I wish I could see that moment with you Shelly!! I'm so happy for you!!! You've done such a great job.. this band is a wonderful thing isn't it? :)

breezy

01-09-2009, 08:25 PM

I can't wait until you do that. That will so ROCK! I can't wait until I get to tell my primary care physician something like that. The first time I saw her it was for a yearly exam and had to do the whole "legs up and self esteem down" business. well she went on and on about how she couldn't quite get the speculum in place and huffing and puffing, like she was so exasperated. I wanted to take my leg out of the stirrups and kick her in the chin. When I got up she was like "when you get some of that excess weight off, these exams will be a little easier" she just had to say that with the little and I do mean "little, petite" assistant in the room. Next year this time maybe i'll take a running leap onto the table. Hope I don't say something like " I don't have a fat cat anymore". Sorry, did i say that??? ...HA!

Nick N Ava's Grammy

01-09-2009, 08:32 PM

Oh Breezy.. you made me smile with what you'd like to tell your PCP. I'm so thankful my PCP never said anything like that to me, but then again, he can't talk, he is very very overweight himself. Last time I saw him, he said.. "now aren't you glad you did this?? and aren't you asking yourself why did you wait so long?"... he's been my Dr for 37 yrs, in fact he delivered my son. He's also a family friend, so to have his support means a lot too. Good Luck on your journey Breezy.. you'll do great!!!

newlifeat57

01-09-2009, 09:17 PM

I love that expression, Breezy. I also love my PCP. She is constantly battling her weight so, she is very compassionate and doesn't say things like that. Boy am i glad. She's been my Dr. for about 18 yrs. BTW Good to meet you Breezy.

Shelly, It is a great feeling to see that scale move. Enjoy it and celebrate.

bgrand

01-09-2009, 11:07 PM

I just love progress pics!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Your so cute..

PattiDi07

01-10-2009, 04:30 AM

Hi, Shelly..... I just have to say first that I love it here in your couch.... it's so inviting! And I love it at Mel's place, too..... so I'll be around for a while, if that's okay. One of the things I hate most about going to any doctor for any problem is that it is ALWAYS related to your weight. I swear, you could go to your doctor for pink eye or a broken pinky finger, or ANYTHING, and one of the first things they can say to you is "ya know, if you'd lose that extra weight, these things might not happen".... of course I'm kidding about this scenario, but sometimes that's how I have been made to feel in certain doctor's offices. My current NP is wonderful, she has helped me with my depression and anxiety, so that's now at a manageable level. And she's been compassionate, caring, and professional. She's also shared that she is married and the mother of a few school-aged children, so we have had long discussions about splitting up the workload at home and asking for help when I need it. That's always a tough one for me. But anywho, it's nice to finally have a clinician that I can trust. Yes, I definitely need to lose this weight, but she never makes that her focus, unless of course we are talking about symptoms related to being overweight. She knows I have struggled with it forever, and we have had discussions about the band. She has said to me that your head totally has to be in the game if you're going to go with the band, because if it's not, you will most likely gain the weight back. She has seen many patients put the weight back on because they stopped going to groups and basically stopped doing what they are supposed to do, so she's very cautious in telling me that it's a life-changing event. You really have to change your lifestyle. I am so ready to do that. But my husband's argument is that you can really change your lifestyle without the band, and lose weight the "old-fashioned way"..... ugh.... how many times have I tried to do that..... :( Anyway, thanks Shelly for letting me ramble here in this nice, comfy couch.... have a good day. :)
Patti

kat

01-10-2009, 07:42 AM

Patti - welcome, by the way. The piece that finally put me over the edge to have the WLS was reading that the chance of long term success losing weight the traditional way is only 5%. So 95% put in all that blood, sweat and tears to lose the weight and either don't lose it or eventually gain it back. I found that figure hard to believe until I did my own research, and its true. That did it for me - I knew I had to do the surgery.
And I've never looked back. Not even once.

Shelly - go for it! You're amazing!!
Breezy - glad to see you here. I was wondering where you were.

maggieD

01-10-2009, 09:11 AM

Hey Shelly... I have a story to relate as well for the DR visits... about 15 years ago my husband and I were really try unsuccessfully to have a child. I was referred to a specialist in the field (supposedly the best) in Augusta GA which at the time was about 5 hours from where i lived. The clinic was very "cold" as in very impersonable... We had to do the whole run of test... both of us... and while my DH was off doing his test i was in the little room, with only a short towel over me, no sheet, in a very bright room, He comes in and starts the exam and literally takes his hand and jiggles my stomach flab... He says " well its not wonder you can't conceive with all this... how does your husband feel about this.. is he attracted to you at all?"... well needless to say ... i started to cry... I mean how cruel can you get... I suffered through the rest of the exam and then met him and my husband in his office to go over our results. Of course my DH could tell i was upset... I told him what the DR said... He was not very happy at all and told the DR how unprofessional he was ... said we were here to get assistance to fix our issues... The Dr said we both were obese and that we didn't need to start a family in that unhealthy way... all in all it was just awful... We didn't go back to see him... we ended up in ATL with a specialist there but still no baby. Sorry to ramble on and on ... but it still hurts when i think about how mean that DR was...it still effects how i see new DRs. I sure don't just automatically trust them just because they made it through Med school. :)

PattiDi07

01-10-2009, 09:48 AM

Maggie, that is awful. I'm afraid that either I would have had to slap that doctor, or once my hubby found out what he said, he would have punched him one. What an ass! I'm glad you didn't go back. I really hope you are successful with your endeavors to have children.... best wishes....

Kat ... thanks for the welcome. I am not giving up on the WLS....

kristina

01-10-2009, 01:59 PM

sometimes i think medical school teaches docs how to be a bunch of @sses. most of the fat comments i have heard came from them. there is way to speak to a person about losing weight for health reasons..and then there is just cold harsh @ss-ness.
i don't even have co-morbidities.
when i was having my 1st kid...i was being transfered to the operating table. 21 years old..gained 100 pounds with that pregnancy..i was 240 getting put on that table...they were laughing and saying "lets call in the reinforcements for this one. how many do u think it will take? 15 of us??"...as they laughed. another one said he could land a plane in my stretch marks. i think they thought i was so out of it..i couldn't hear them. it hurts even now to say it.
most of u know about the lap band @ss i almost had surgery by. thank God i didn't.
we don't have to take crap like that. those people are getting paid by somebody. and they should be reported. if its done in a malicious way. and then our bodies, and our business should be taken elsewhere.
if they are treating you that way- u better believe they are treating others that way.

Shelly---what a day of reckoning thats going to be! u enjoy it girl. u deserve it!!!!!

GirlyGirl

01-10-2009, 10:27 PM

Shelly, can't wait for you to see that NP! She will notice right away! I can see you with that big smile right now!

Donna, can't imagine doing anything for 37 years....wow! That's a long time!

Maggie, Kristina, those so called medical practitioners are infidels! They should not be in the business of people!

kristina

01-10-2009, 11:20 PM

but they are. they are sooo out there....

maggieD

01-11-2009, 10:30 AM

Well... i know this sound ugly but the Dr is dead now... was practically dead then as later i found out he was in his 80"s... He was suppose to be the best in the field...
It is hard to say while you are naked what you would do as you already fill so exposed... i am very shy also and he just crushed me with those comments... Basically he was just a very mean man... I learned from it and have moved on... I don't let Drs treat me that way anymore... After being my Moms care taker... i learned to speak up... I guess because it was more for her than me... But i found my voice... :)

Happy Sunday everyone... I am off to work... Year end ... YUK!!

kristina

01-11-2009, 12:44 PM

good for u maggie! good for you!

~Shelly~

01-12-2009, 07:21 PM

So today I was walking to mail something while Dh got my baby out of the car. I was walking toward the store front where the mail box was and I saw a reflection in the mirror. She looked kinda cute, walking briskly, head high, shoulders back, and little wiggle her her gate. You know what? It was me and I saw it!

Ha!

newlifeat57

01-12-2009, 07:29 PM

Shelly you are too cute!! Isn't it a wonderful feeling?

redgrldj

01-12-2009, 09:19 PM

Told ya so LOL

GirlyGirl

01-13-2009, 09:43 PM

~Shelly~

01-14-2009, 05:58 AM

Hey Shel, Hey everyone!

Sound like you're doing great Shelly! Good for you, you keep sneakin' peeks of that sexy chic in the window and before you know it, you'll be her! LOL

Been real busy getting my home sold and getting moved so I'll be in and out for a while.

y'all behave while I'm gone!

Lol nah I didn't see a sexy chic in the window, I just saw my shrinking, kinda cute reflection. Good luck with your stuff.

My appointment yesterday wasn't so great lol. I learned just how much my NP didn't know about gastric banding - and she totally forgot I was even getting it done. Can you imagine? She thought gastric banding didn't require surgery. O.M.G. - anyhow, I will spare you the rest of the details but it was like she didn't even remember my story or read my chart before she came in the room! So, I'm leaving there and finding a new doctor lol. Unacceptable.

She wouldn't lower my BP med, which was upsetting. She has been bitching for months that if I lost some weight my BP would come down and I could taper off this drug. I never had high BP despite being fat all my life... until I got PG. At 10w I had dangerously high BP and had to go to the hospital (found out during my first pre-natal visit) got put on meds and was ok for a bit. At 30w I had pre-term labor from it and was put on bedrest for the rest of my PG. I got pre-eclampsia in the end and my BP never was the same after that, been on meds ever since. So I was really hoping since I had lost a chunk of weight I'd at least be able come down to half the dose. But nope, she said she didn't want to fuss with it. Argh!

Anyhow! It's my baby's birthday today and I'm so thankful and happy to be his Mummy. He is my everything and these have been the best years of my life!

kristina

01-16-2009, 06:24 PM

girl- it does sound like u need a new doc. and i love how you recognize that right away. good for u!!!!

~Shelly~

01-16-2009, 06:48 PM

Kitty

01-16-2009, 10:06 PM

That's great!!! What a jerk....good for you for making him look like the @ss that he is!

kat

01-17-2009, 07:40 AM

Hey Shelly - just checking in. Love the window reflection story!! Yep - it's you, gorgeous!

I'm a big believer in what you sow, you reap. Which means all those nasty doctors are going to get it in the end!!

wingsfly825

01-18-2009, 07:19 AM

hey shelly....your doing great. like krisitna i get tired just from reading what exercise you do. too bad i cant burn calories from reading about exercise lol.
So how are you girl? hows hubby treating you? is he still funky about how great you are looking?
Well i just sat down for a minute on your comfy couch i gotta get going now just wanted to stop in and say hi...big hugs

bgrand

01-18-2009, 07:42 AM

Thanks darlin'

Argh I had a moment at the gym today. I was walking from the treadmills to the locker room. A man was walking in the path perpendicular to me -coming from my right, and I slowed down a bit cause I didn't know if he was a slob or a polite man (you know ladies before gentleman)... ok so get this...

I also see from my left comes a gorgeous, thin woman - also walking to the locker room. The man made eye contact with me for a moment, but didn't stop to let me go... he stops RIGHT in front of me to let the gorgeous, thin woman pass in front of him! Rofl omg I was so shocked, and somewhat devastated.

So when I started walking behind his rude self, I told him... "You dropped your pocket" which left him looking around on the ground for something that didn't exist.

Fool!

Shelly, I hate that this happened to you. I can so relate. BUT..... the day will come when men are tripping over themselves to open the dorr for you, carry your packages, etc.
I so enjoy it and let the fools trip all over themselves now...all the time reminding myself that if i was fat, "you wouldn't even notice me".
Your doing great. Keep up the good work.

kristina

01-18-2009, 10:45 PM

shoulda tripped him up. jerk.

PattiDi07

01-19-2009, 04:23 AM

Hi, Shelly.... just popping in to say hey.... You sound like you are doing great! Don't let that boob at the gym discourage or devastate you. Shallow people .... can't stand 'em and don't have time for 'em.... Keep on keepin' on, girl!

~Shelly~

01-20-2009, 02:30 PM

Hey gals!

I have my first post-op support group meeting (been slacking/kinda forgot) tonight and I'm kind of excited.

Hugs

kristina

01-20-2009, 02:32 PM

hey chica- u have fun! i have never been to a local support group. i have always wanted too, just never have. i am so into this place-i think i get my support here. all of my health care team professionals would disagree! LOL!
have a good time, and strut ur stuff..cause u are doing awesome!!!

newlifeat57

01-20-2009, 11:05 PM

Good for you Shelly. I have one tomorrow. It should be good.

kristina

01-21-2009, 09:21 AM

shelly-how'd it go???

~Shelly~

01-21-2009, 10:15 AM

Thanks for asking :)

Honestly, the topic wasn't helpful for me for right now. It was about making poor food choices, having a small amount of space to fit food and making the best possible nutritious choice to fill that space, people eating the same foods they did to get fat, getting back on track etc. At the moment that isn't an issue for me because I kind of get that whole idea and try hard to make good choices to nourish my body instead of my emotions and brain.

However it was nice to see some people that were in my classes and had surgery the same time as me, etc. It was also nice to be in a room full of people that kinda know where I've been and what I'm going through - kinda of like here.

:)

newlifeat57

01-21-2009, 01:04 PM

Shelly maybe you can pass on some of the information you gained to us---we're the ones that make bad food choices, eat on the run, and eat the wrong foods...LOL We should have gone to your meeting...;)

I've noticed that the time spent with others after the main support meeting has always been the best part. You get to really talk to each other about personal struggles. It's good to get ideas from one another that way.

kristina

01-21-2009, 02:45 PM

shelly--tell me..if you could have chosen any topic for your meeting- what would it have been?
mine i think would be...calorie counting. to count or not to count! :)

oh-and i agree with mel..pass on the info! LOL!

~Shelly~

01-21-2009, 02:54 PM

It was actually really good for me. My mother and I don't have a relationship (more on this below), and as I've mentioned before I've told 2 people about my surgery (Dh and my best pal C) so it's kind of lonely floating around.

A gal I met at my spiritual healing class J and I really bonded to each other. She had bypass, but on the same day I got my band. I talked in the class about how afraid I was to be alone when I woke up from surgery (DH was with my son - which is what I wanted) and she was a real source of support to me, just knowing she was going to be in the hospital and I could come find her and put my eyes on someone I "knew".

J is really like a Mothering figure to me. After the group last night she and I sat and chatted, and I bawled my eyes out on her shoulder. I told her I was so afraid to fail, so afraid something was going to happen to my band to make to fail, that perhaps I wasn't good enough to deserve this experience. She just held me and rubbed my head and let me cry. I can't explain how good it felt to have that. I mean DH listens and holds me and bla bla bla but it's different, ya know?

I came home and my shoulders didn't hurt anymore, I felt like something was lifted. She talked me into calling the psych gal from our center and talking to her about some of the body imagine issues I'm having - and I will.

My best friend C is SO supportive of me and always cheering me on, but she is a skinny, gorgeous little thing and she doesn't "get it" so it was good to go and see some people that did. I also learned about a bi-weekly group of gals that meets there informally to chat about stuff. I'll be going to that too. I do better in smaller groups.