I am PO... :(

[Goannabanda]

...Proven Otherwise

Spotting started on Tuesday, a mere 8 days afer my emby was transferred.

Tuesday night and early Wednesday morning I got weakly +ve home tests

Late Wednesday morning - AF showed up.

The clinic's "standard" options are now to either have a break, or move onto a non-medicted frozen cycle straight away, whcih could mean that I would have one of our frozen embies transferred in the next two weeks or so.

However before I rush into that, I have some concerns to be addressed with the FS, as this cycle has ended almost identically to two (or more) other cycles I've had this year. I think that it is a luteal phase defect (possible out-of-phase lining), but so far none of my specialists have taken this seriously. I will be having a very serious discussion with my FS about this very issue as soon as I can see him, and I won't be leaving the clinic until I get mre luteal phase support for the next cycle.

The stupid part is I still have to do the BETA test next Monday - by which time I will be CD6, and AF will be long gone. I have to keep using the crinone (progesterone gel) until then too, just in case, but as far as I am concerned, this cycle is all over red rover.

I am feeling very bummed out about this right now, I think it will take a few days longer to pull myself back together properly. Thanks for all of your well wishes and baby dust.

[Nick N Ava's Grammy]

Anna.. special hugs coming to you. I can only imagine what you're going thru.. I have nothing scientific I can help you with.. I can only tell you that I'm thinking about you and really care about you.

Bless your heart. Hugs again!

[Goannabanda]

Thanks Donna -you are always there for me with jut the right words of love. Wish I could hug you to let you know how much I appreciate you!

[Nick N Ava's Grammy]

You already have honey.. :)

[Tricia K.]

Aww honey, I'm so sorry. ((HUGS))

[A1ikou]

Anna, I'll hug you too and when the others join in and you feel utterly squished, you'll know how much we all feel for you. You feel as bummed as you want to...
Filakia (many kisses) from Greece xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

[Goannabanda]

Thanks gang. **wipes eyes for the trillionth time today** Cool, I'm getting some great southern lovin' and huge big Greek hugs as well. I'm going to be better in no time.


...now if anyone can just fix up this broken down shell of a body of mine and get it to do it's thing, I'll be good to go, LOL.

[stac1982]

That just sucks! I know this is hard to hear right now, but if it is meant to be, it will happen when the time is right. I will be thinking of you and praying for you! Lots of hugs!

[Kathy]

I'm so sorry Anna. I know this is heartbreaking and difficult. I have the Luteal Phase defect also, and you are smart to push getting more support for that. Is the only solution to add the Progesterone? Do you do that all month, or only the second (luteal) phase? I ask because my LPD is not a fertility issue for me. My tubes are tied, but it's sending my Estrogen sky high. Anyhow, I'm not as educated about all this. But you, dear, are a dadgum fertility expert. I KNOW you will break through. :hug:

[WildAlaskaG'ma]

So sorry for your loss & disappointment. Sending hugggs and prayers. Your knowledge on fertility issues blows me away. Hang in there, girlfriend ,,, We'll brew up another batch of baby dust when you're ready ,,,

[ginabobina]

Oh Anna I am so sorry for your loss - it is heartbreaking and I know words can only be of so much comfort. Please know how much we love you and are thinking of you and praying for you throughout all of this! And it doesn't have to make a bit of sense - right now it just HURTS ... so be extra gentle with yourself and your grief. Big HUGS to you!

[MoOrLess]

HUGS for you Anna - this time from Illinois! I can't imagine how difficult a time it is for you right now and I just want you to know that we love you and care about you - saying extra prayers and boxing up some baby dust to send your way!

[MrsS]

It's hard for me to talk about, so I don't much. But I know this feels like the loss of a child. It seems everything anyone said to me at the time sounded all wrong. But, know this, our arms are around you (in cyberspace!) giving you great big hugs and lots of prayers and good thoughts. I have been worried about you, but like I said, know you are supported here. :hug:

[cathy]

No one can know your pain and disappointment - we can only hope that our expressions of concern and love help in easing the pain in some little way and makes it a wee bit more bearable.

Cry if you feel the need.

Laugh if you feel the urge.

Whatever feels right for you at this time.....is right.

Take care

[Stitchy]

Awww, Anna. I'm so sorry. I'm joining the others with giving you booby-squishing hugs.

[ladytonya]

I'm so sorry, Anna! Lots of squishy cyberhugs going out to ya!

[HeatherGurl]

So sorry to hear that Anna... huge hugs to you.
You will be in my prayers.

[Kim G]

Anna - I am so sorry to hear this. I know you have heard this and sometimes it's hard to understand but all things happen for a reason. The right time is coming we just don't know when.

Hang in there and I hope you can feel all these hugs being sent your way.

[kristina]

oh anna..i am deeply sorry for your loss. i cant imagine how painful this is for you.... i sent a prayer your way. May God Bless You!

[MarkB]

Anna, I am so sorry for your loss.

[503-250]

nothing to say, just a big hug.

[Dustbunny]

So sorry Anna. Love Deb

[Goannabanda]

Thanks everyone for all of your prayers and love. I really appreciate your care. You are right gang, it will happen when the time is right.

I pretty much hit rock-bottom last week and completely melted down. I am picking up the pieces again, and am almost back to normal again now, just with an extra battle scar to show for the experience. The girls on my IVF site say the first IVF failure is the worst, I think that they are onto something there.

So, I am getting myself back on track in many areas, including weight loss and fitness. I have about 10kg of "fertility" weight to lose (partly the meds, partly comfort eating :shocked: ). We are moving straight onto the next attempt, with a frozen embryo this time, so here we go again!


I'm so sorry Anna. I know this is heartbreaking and difficult. I have the Luteal Phase defect also, and you are smart to push getting more support for that. Is the only solution to add the Progesterone? Do you do that all month, or only the second (luteal) phase? I ask because my LPD is not a fertility issue for me. My tubes are tied, but it's sending my Estrogen sky high. Anyhow, I'm not as educated about all this. But you, dear, are a dadgum fertility expert. I KNOW you will break through. :hug:
Wow - apparently the LPD is common, but very misunderstod. The nurse said that they would probably give me HCG (Pregnyl shots) this time,with the thought that my progesterone levels should be good enough on their own in a natural cycle. I understand that the HCG will help support the lining for implantation. The downside is it will probably delay the waiting for a Beta HCG test, so as not to have a false +ve result.

,,, We'll brew up another batch of baby dust when you're ready ,,,
You'd better get busy brewing up that baby dust Granny - I am heading off to start a frozen embryo cycle this Friday. The transfer will probably be late next week.

It's hard for me to talk about, so I don't much. But I know this feels like the loss of a child. It seems everything anyone said to me at the time sounded all wrong. But, know this, our arms are around you (in cyberspace!) giving you great big hugs and lots of prayers and good thoughts. I have been worried about you, but like I said, know you are supported here. :hug:
I understand exactly how you feel and what you mean. Hugs right back to you sweetie.

I'm joining the others with giving you booby-squishing hugs.
They'd be tight hugs Stitchy, 'cos I don't have very big bewbies to squish... ...you should have seen the lengths I had to go to just to make a visible boobatar! LOL!

No one can know your pain and disappointment - we can only hope that our expressions of concern and love help in easing the pain in some little way and makes it a wee bit more bearable.
Hello stranger, long time, no see! Did you get "outed", LOL. Thanks so much, I do feel much beter now. :nod:

I'm so sorry, Anna! Lots of squishy cyberhugs going out to ya!
What are you doing here... ...aren't you supposed to be busy TTCing yourself? LOL.

nothing to say, just a big hug.
That speaks volumes. Thanks so much Bear, how special.

[ladytonya]

Glad to hear you're jumping right back into the pool, Anna!

I AM TTC! Ask DH, he's exhausted. LOL! Actually, today is CD 30 and I tested this morning because AF hasn't come yet. It was a big fat negative. :-( Now I just have to wait for AF to start and it's back to the drawing board! I need to do OPKs to make sure I'm ovulating, but I'm pretty sure I am. Also need to get DH tested before going on too much longer. With his weight, I'm scared that his swimmers are less than mobile.

Anyway, good luck to you with this next transfer! Hopefully this will be the one!