Family and Friends that question surgery

[Nick N Ava's Grammy]

I just spoke with a friend of ours, and he asked me how I was doing losing the 20 lbs required before surgery. I said I was pretty happy with my loss so far, and from when I first started at the Dr's office I've lost 7.2 (that is by Weight Watchers scale from this past Thursday, the ticker I have is by my scales). Anyway, he said.. "I can't believe if you can lose 20 lbs the 'normal' way.. why on earth would you have surgery???" He kept saying.. "I just don't understand". I was trying to explain to him, that I may not look that overweight to him, I really am obese, and I need to do this to get my life in order.

I told him I need to have accountability each day, and I think the band will give me that. What I mean is, if I will go through surgery it's very important to me. No, I probably won't lose 100 lbs.. although for my height I really should be 125 lbs or less. I am 5 ft tall. But I'm almost 59 yrs old, and I don't want to lose 100 lbs. I just want to be healthy, and I figure if I get to 160 lbs or there-abouts I will be so happy. I have a family history of diabetes, cancer, heart disease, high blood pressure, the usual health problems, plus I have issues with my legs and back. Thank goodness none of the other diseases I just mentioned. I know some or even most of you have run into this kind of situation, and wondered how you handled it?

I was wondering, (and I'd like everyone that responds to be very honest) .. am I on the right track for a lap band, being that I don't want to lose 100 lbs? I have thought about this all day long, and the more I think, the more confused I get.. Thanks in advance.

[chattykathywlc]

I had a similar question asked of me, "if you just continue on Weight Watchers you know you can do it." But not if you look at my 20year history of dieting, losing and regaining before I ever met my goal or for that matter ever getting close.
What I like about the band is that its adjustable and just when I was on a plateau, I got an adjustment. I had only lost 2 lbs in 2 weeks then nothing for over a week so I got a fill. I have already lost 3 lbs since yesterday. It was the boost I needed to keep going. At this point in other diets I would give up after such a plateau. So thats where I see the success with the band and why I am so glad that I did it. But you need to make the decision that is right for you.
Remember even if you dont lose 100lbs, they say even losing 10% of your weight tremendously improves your health.
Good luck!
Kat

[ginabobina]

Argghh - so frustrating to me when others give us advice about weight when they CANNOT understand what it is like to live our life!

One of the top 2 things that tipped the scales officially in favor of surgery was information at the seminar that said after a certain percentage of excess weight, about 5 to 7% are able to lose and MAINTAIN sufficient weight loss. I realized that I needed to stop beating myself up because I couldn't lose enough weight and keep it off the "old fashioned way". I had enough excess weight that the old fashioned way (don't get me started on my opinion of that addage!) would literally not work. It was time to stop wasting time with solutions that would not lead to a healthier fuller life for the REST of my life!

I have read information about the Band being a great option for those who do not need to lose as much weight and even if it is 75 pounds that you want to lose, I think it is totally appropriate. A lot of members on here started with a desired weight loss under 100.

Best of luck to you and remember that nobody else has to understand. It doesn't matter a bit what that friend understands or doesn't understand, it is your body, your surgery, your life. Hopefully he can be supportive even without understanding.

[little t]

I had my super skinny manager say just about the same thing to me when I told her I was going to get banded. She obviously does not understand what it is like to be a food addict! When people ask me, I tell them that I need this to live a long healthy life. I weighed 282 at my highest and the road I was going down was leading me to sure death! I had to do something, even if it meant putting myself in harms way by going through with this surgery. When you said you need accountability, I immediately thought of those anklets that criminals wear. The anklet keeps criminals accountable to what they are doing when nobody is watching. The band helps keep me accountable to what I put in my mouth when nobody is watching. The band is a lot safer than choosing bypass since the band can be removed if you have a complication (which is rare). So it is completely reversible!

As far as not wanting to lose more than 100 pounds, you might be surprised once you hit 160 pounds. When I weighed 282, I didn't think I would lose more than 100 pounds. I guess I did not want to set a goal that was to high and feel like a failure if I could not make my goal. A safe goal of 200 pounds seemed appropriate to me. Once I hit 200 pounds, I thought, why stop there? I have been excercising and eating healthy for the most part and have watched more and more weight fall off of me. When you get to your goal of 160, keep excercising and eating right and your body will decide if that is the "right weight" for you.

[Kristina921]

My brother in law said the same type of thing to me...He's a nurse! He said he doesn't believe in WLS. Oh well, when I am skinny and looking good, what's he gonna say?! If I were able to keep off the weight with just diet and exercise, I wouldn't be morbidly obese right now...I figure that I did the right thing for myself and my husband is 100% on board so that's all the motivation I need :)

[Patrick]

Donna, I had one of my 'friends' say that to me the day before surgery (I was sorely tempted to clock him). Some others, after I was banded, said oh, you cheated to lose weight. CHEATED!?! I didn't even know there were rules!.
I even had a doctor (for my colonoscopy last week) ask me, after I informed him of my surgery, if I had tried dieting first? But you know what, they can all go to he--!
As far as your personal goals, know that they are still good ones. Just remember, whatever you lose will be very beneficial to your health.

[officegirlblues]

Donna, you have done such a smashup job of getting ready for your surgery. You've had the mindset that you've needed to have because you know that there is a reward coming your way. The reward is the fact that you won't be fighting the battle against your weight by yourself. The band is not going to make you loose weight. It is going to help you stay true to your new, healthier way of life and YOU are going to make yourself loose weight. The band is like having a life preserver to rescue you when you can't do it on your own. Obviously you have had weight issues long enough to realize that in a normal, every day setting, it would be very difficult to maintain the level of commitment that you've proven to have lately. The task of conquering your weight is too overwhelming because we feel like we're completely on our own in the battle. I mean really, if it were that easy, would we all be here? I don't think so.

Your friend, even though he may think he's looking out for your well being, doesn't have to live in your body. He doesn't have to feel the inadequacies you feel every day. He doesn't have to struggle with your health issues so he is not qualified to tell you what you can or should do. Now, that being said, neither am I! YOU have to be sure that you want the band. I've read your excitement. I know that the band could do wonders for you. You have shown such a positive attitude toward each process and are doing such an awesome job.

The band will be an adjustment (no pun intended. lol.). I thought I was prepared mentally, physically and emotionally for it, but really I wasn't. I don't think you can be because its not like anything you've ever done in your life. But, I will tell you that its the best adjustment I've ever made. It has given me so much hope and joy in just the short time that I've had it. Every day I discover new things about myself that I wouldn't have had the insight to see before. And even though you are putting yourself at risk to have the surgery, I don't believe it is any more of a risk than what you are putting yourself through when you live your life as an obese person. Honestly, I feel like just the mental strain obesity puts on a person is more taxing on their body than the actual weight is. I have been more upbeat and carefree since I had my surgery than I have been in years. I look forward to getting up every day and seeing what I can accomplish. My mental health has gone from a 1 or 2 on the 10 scale to at least an 8 and that in itself has got to be a huge boon for my health.

You are loosing weight on your own, your friend is right. But, think about how you're doing it and ask yourself if you can maintain that method for the rest of your life. If the answer is yes, then maybe you don't need the band. But, no one can decide that but you. You have a great head on your shoulders so I have no doubt you'll make the right decision for you.

[PhotoNut]

"I can't believe if you can lose 20 lbs the 'normal' way.. why on earth would you have surgery???"

Ah yes, that same old misconception. Trust me, you ~will~ be losing the weight the "normal way". The band will assist you, but it won't do it for you. Here’s how I know….

What I did: Spent 30 years of my life on a weight-loss roller coaster until I weighed 307 pounds; brought myself to the brink of diabetes; raised my cholesterol levels to the point of needing medication to control it;
What the band did: Pulled me back from the edge of giving up on living, and gave me real hope

What I did: Lost 16 pounds by following the pre-op diet
What the band did: Motivated me to stick to the pre-op diet

What I did: Underwent surgery and the subsequent recovery
What the band did: Cost me $20,000.

What I did: Stuck to the post-op diet (hard!) and lost 30 more pounds before my first fill.
What the band did: Sat dormant, waiting for swelling to subside and for that first fill when it could begin doing its job.

What I did: Spent the next year struggling with my head about food issues; experienced addiction transference, replacing food with wine which slowed my weight loss considerably; worked with my band doctor to keep the appropriate amount of restriction; paid for those adjustments
What the band did: Helped me continue to lose weight, although slowly, by restricting the amount of food I could eat; kept me from being physically hungry

What I did: Realized that it was time I put forth some real effort into my weight loss; began water aerobics classes at the gym; joined step aerobics classes; started celebrating being alive; got down to 177 pounds and size 8 jeans!
What the band did: Restricted the quantity of food I could eat, while keeping me from being physically hungry

What I did: Faced seven months of tremendous stress and turned to high calorie, high fat, high carb foods (that went easily thru the band) for comfort; gained 45 pounds (bye bye size 8, hello size 14)
What the band did: Earned every penny of that $20,000! Any other time in my life I would have gained back all of the 130 pounds I had lost!

What I’m doing: Trying to get the head issues taken care of so that I can face the “storms” in life with better control; journaling my food; exercising; staying plugged-in to my b2g family for support
What the band is doing: It’s job as the most valuable tool I’ve ever owned.

So let's repeat that question, "I can't believe if you can lose 20 lbs the 'normal' way.. why on earth would you have surgery???"

My answer? It's easy to lose 20 pounds when you're motivated, but when the motivation wears off and the stress of normal life moves in, it's twice as easy to gain back those 20 pounds and more. In all my years on that weight-loss roller coaster, this is the ONLY time I haven't gained it all back. I can work hard and get the weight off. We all can, and have many times over. But keeping it off is where the real victory lies. And for that, I look to my band. :)

[mimi r]

Well, Donna, where do we all begin....
I, too, am a shorty at 4'11"; 51 years old; felt like 65 years old most of the time; weighed 197 lbs at my heaviest, 187 when I started the pre-banding process; 160 now at 4 months banded. My health fell apart at 45 with super-high cholestrol, borderline hypertension, sleep apnea, allergies, etc. I felt desperate. Same story you read here EVERY day - when I married at 18, I had a tough BOD with a TIGHT booty at 115 lbs; had a baby less than a year later & said goodbye to the BOD from then on.
My husband, that I love with ALL my heart, has decided that he is NOt supporting me in my WLS, so it has been tough, to say the least. I am on my own, except for you guys. But I had to do this for myself. I have no aspirations of a model's body; I want to be healthier; to run with my grandkids; walk with my still darling hubby; and get rid of the damn torture C-pap machine! The hell with the belly flab that I am seeing more & more of each day! This was MY damn decision; it is my chance for a healthier life & to HELL with anyone who says otherwise! This is NOT the EASY way out; It takes work, work, & when you are finished, more work! I cry & grieve at least 3 times a week over food (crazy, ain't it); I try to hide my PB's from hubby because of his unsupport. Tomorrow is Easter Sunday - the day of hope & restoration!
You do NOT have to explain your need for WLS ! I explained till I was blue in the face to my beloved hubby & he STILL could not understand! But you DO have to have peace with YOURSELF! I have said this before (sorry, P'Nut) & I'll say it again (sorry, P'Nut) TAKE YOUR TIME........learn all you can; have many heart-to-heart talks with yourself; know in your heart of hearts that this is the right thing for YOU! Then tell the rest of the skinnies where to go!
That's my story, & I'm stickin' to it!!!!
Phyllis

[Nick N Ava's Grammy]

Thank you all for answering. So far my family and the friends I have told are behind me on my decision. But the other night when this friend came out of the blue and said "if you can lose 20 lbs the 'normal' way, why on earth would you have surgery".. I guess I naive thinking everyone had given me their blessings. (I really didn't think I needed blessings, but apparently I do). His comment just threw me for a loop, and made me think if this is what I need to do. Believe me, I have done nothing but think about this all day long today. After reading everyone's posts, and really getting back to the original reason that I chose to have the band, I am realizing that this is the best thing for me to do. And, my daughter, son, daughter in law (she is an RN), one sister, (I haven't told the other one yet) 3 best friends AND my hubby (all the most important people in my life) are supportive, but one person I hardly ever see said that to me and I crashed basically.

When my hubby and I went to the seminar with the Dr that will do the surgery, (on Feb 11) the Dr said "a lot of people have a family history of overweight family members, and no matter what they do to try to lose weight, it's very difficult to do and keep it off".. you know, that was the first time I ever felt, "wow, there is hope".. and specially when my own Dr said, "Donna, I don't know what else to do to help you, why don't you think about surgery" (and he told me that yearssss ago). I have seen my Dr since I made my decision and he supports me as well.

We have family members that have had bypass surgery, and we've talked quite a bit. Both of the girls said "there will come a time when someone will give you fits about your decision" .. and me in my own way thought "ohhh I can handle that".. apparently I couldn't. They both said, "no matter what, this is YOUR decision, and frankly it's NOBODY'S business). But when our friend made that statement it made me question my reason to do this in the first place.

The first pounds of the 20 lbs did come off pretty easy, I mean I was on 1000 calories a day with 3 shakes and 2 entrees (which by the way taste like a can of ravioli ewwww), and I exercised like I've never done before. I have made a decision to really watch what I eat, and tonight my hubby and I walked up to the highway and back. He's so good to me, and wants me to be healthy. I'm sure the rest of the weight will come off much harder, and I will have to work very hard for every ounce to come off. He walked behind me, and I kept saying "am I going fast enough?" .. he said.. "yep.. you're doing fine".

I so appreciate everyone telling me their stories and how they handled this part of their journey. I don't know how to do a multi quote, so I just wanted to thank you all again for your answers. I will make a folder of this, and I will re-read it whenever I need to. I knew the moment I posted this, you guys would be here for me. Whether you all know it or not, YOU all have become my new family, and I totally trust each and everyone of you with your opinions. In fact, I read a lot of your posts to my hubby, because he wants to learn as much as he can too about this.

Gina, you're right, no one knows how we live inside our bodies. As I was reading everyones posts back to me, it brought tears to my eyes, as I was thinking.. FINALLY.. people that understand me!!!

Kat, you're right about the history of losing and gaining, I have that too. Too many times in fact.

Kristina921, I remember your journey started off as a rocky one also, but you've done sooooooo well since your surgery. I'm so happy for you!!!

Tami, you know, when you talked about how your band gives you accountability, that's how I think about it too. Except mine is a little different. I had a bad gallbladder for 2 1/2 yrs, and whenever I ate anything, I would get very sick. I lost 82 lbs, and after the 'accountability' was taken out, I gained all my weight back, plus after hysterectomy I gained 16 lbs, plus after motorcycle accident I gained another 11, making me a total of 249 in 2002. That's when I thought if I had 'something' to make me accountable, (besides the look of the Weight Watchers leader), it would help me a lot. The one reason I set a goal at 160 was so that I could give myself more to lose if I chose to do it. That doesn't mean I'll stop there, but it's realistic to me enough that if I don't like it there and want to go lower, I can. At 140 lbs before I could only eat about 500 calories to maintain that weight. All the leaders in weight loss groups I've been at do not believe me. Altho I looked like a very young teenager, but that was 24 yrs ago.. lol

Phyllis ... I wish you did have your hubby's support, it's so important to have a support group at home. I'm not sure I could do this without mines support. I can see how you come here for support, and it's all heartfelt support too. Good luck with your journey.. hugsss

Kat, I agree on the 20 yrs of weight loss meetings, and it doesn't stay off. That's one of the reasons I chose having the band. This is the accountability I'm looking for, and the extra 'push' so to speak, or the little nudge.

Hope, what you have, the self confidence you talk about, knowing there is hope for you and success, that's what I want to feel. Not the "I'm defeated before I get started" thought process that goes along with trying and failing all the time at other weight loss tries. This is exactly what I mean, NO one understands unless they've been there. We've all been there.

P'Nut, you're right about motivation losing 20 lbs, but I don't have the motivation to lose the rest of the weight that I need to lose, and I'm talking 40 to 75 lbs.. it's been proven, because I had originally lost 33lbs, and gained back 13 lbs. I am still working on getting that off, just to have the 33 lbs off again. I have 2 more lbs to make that goal. I was reading your posts when you had your melt down, and to me that made things more human than possible. I was glued to every word, and then the 'troops' came in so to speak, and what help you got from everyone. Bless you.

Thank you too Patrick for answering, to have a Dr ask you if you'd tried dieting before having surgery. How insensitive of him.

Thanks again everyone, I plan on having many heart to hearts with myself, but at this moment, my heart is telling me, this is the best thing for me. I feel so much better now.

[ate2much]

:iagree: I think you have covered all of your bases. Best wishes...

[SpookyJulz]

Ditto to what Everyone else has said!!

The only other thing I can say is that I was so tired of doing it alone, then gaining it all back plus more, I would have given up if I hadn't been able to be banded.

[ginabobina]

I even had a doctor (for my colonoscopy last week) ask me, after I informed him of my surgery, if I had tried dieting first? But you know what, they can all go to he--!

LOL!!! Patrick I totally agree!! It amazes me how people feel so open to ask us about our weight loss and progress for that matter - like it's fair game to talk about such a personal thing just because it shows on the outside. I have stared at people in disbelief at some of the questions... my favorite is "Have you ever thought about trying Weight Watchers?" HA HA HA HA HA!!!! Who hasn't done WW about 20 times if they've struggled with weight? Yes of course I've tried it and it works too, as long as you keep white knuckling and don't mess up... even then the most I ever lost was 40 pounds in 6 months - far from sufficient for my long term health.

OK, Grammy, I want to applaud you for putting yourself out there with this and encourage you not to be hard on yourself... you sound disappointed that you let his comment have such an impact but you did the right thing... you got it out and gave yourself a chance to talk about it. I think one of the biggest elements of this journey is learning not to be afraid of our emotions - to feel them and go through fear, anger, sadness and happiness, which are all totally normal, without turning to food or something else to try to avoid those feelings. The more we feel and talk about things, the better off we'll be - so THANKS for sharing your struggle and giving us the chance to encourage you and share our own journeys!

[Nick N Ava's Grammy]

Thanks Cindy, Julz and Gina... you know, I didn't realize this friends comment would get to me so much either. I thought I could handle anything anyone handed me. Kelli and Sue (our relatives) said that there would be times that something like that would get to me, but as I said before I thought I could handle it. Apparently I was wrong.

BUT!!!! If anything this guys comment made me think harder on why I decided to go with the lap band surgery. It cemented in my mind the real reason for my decision. The losing weight, and gaining it back, the couch potato syndrome, to looking forward to walking my 1/2 mile and timing myself to see if I can do it faster than 14 mins. (so far I'm still at 14 mins, but I will get faster!!)

We went to town today, I walked around the stores, and usually I would say to myself, that I had enough exercise for the day. We got home, and I told my hubby, bring in the chicken so I can get it in the oven, so I can go for my walk while it's cooking.. (it was kinda funny telling him that, I think he thought he had a different wife) lol The weather here today was beautiful, chilly but there wasn't a cloud in the sky and the fresh air was amazing. It's a good time to think, clear my brain and really get in touch with myself.

I go tomorrow for blood work and next Monday I see the Intern and then on Friday of next week I see the surgeon. I'm so excited!! I want to get this show on the road so badly.

Thanks for letting me get this out in the open. Like I've said, you all are amazing, and I really trust all your opinions because I know you've either been through the same thing, or you know someone that has.

[kristina]

The closer this gets..the more crazy y(our) emotions are likely to become. you know in your heart of heart of hearts what the right thing for you to do is. i have also heard a few comments of my own. and only a handful of people know! and none of them are family!

"u can do it the right way..."
"give it to God..."
"just stop eating..."
"what if something happens, what about ur kids.."
"well i dont agree..."

but i have heard more of....

"good for you!!!"
"how very brave..."
"please tell me more...i want it.."
"wow, your insurance covers that, i am sooo jealous!!!"
"as long as it isnt the GBP..."
"i am proud of you..."
"i am so happy for you, and your family!"
"you will do great at it!"

So i am just shutting out the negativity and focusing on the positive. this is your choice, and your body, and your life, and your grandchildren, and children. no one has to live your life- but you. no one struggles with your weight- but you. no one will take your last breath- but you. and you are the only one responsible for your health. and your last breath.

you are doing wonderfully...dont let em get to you. we are here when you need us.

[ate2much]

Donna and Kristina - Don't be surprised if your initial reaction after the surgery is "What the heck have I done to myself!" - I went through that. I thought - omg I lost the first 20 on my own - why couldn't I have kept it up and avoided this pain? Now 8 weeks and 36 less pounds later - I KNOW I made the right decision. I hope you find out that you are making the right decision also.
My pet peeve right now is the notion that somehow the band makes the weight just fall off - I am so sick of a thoughtless co-worker asking me each and every single day how much weight I have lost - as if it melts away during the night... ugh! I have tried to explain the concept of the band - but she just doesn't get it - and yes she is one of those "holier than thou" types that lost "naturally" 42 lbs when her Dr. told her she was pre-diabetic. I prayed for God's help - and I finally got it - in the form of a lapband. Hang in there and hold your head up high!

[Nick N Ava's Grammy]

Awww Kristina, thank you so much.. your opinion means a lot.. and what you said makes a lot of sense.

My cousin called me tonight, we try to check in with each other as much as we can. He lives in Indiana, and he asked.. sooooo.. how ya doin? After I told him about Nicholas, and that he's going to be a big brother, (my son said I could start telling people, but he said.. Mom, don't get carried away.. lol) and the usual stuff we chat about, I told him I am in the process of having a lap band. There was silence for a minute on the other end. His mom was my aunt, so this is the side of my family that has/have weight issues. Anyway, when he went silent for a minute or so.. it didn't bother me in the least. I thought about what everyone said on this thread. I thought.. well.. I will be healthy, I will feel much better about myself. I am soooooooo ready for this to happen, and this IS my decision.

On another thread, someone had said someone asks them how much weight they've lost, and she said she doesn't know yet, she is waiting until she gets to the Dr to see how much she's lost. What a great response!! I think I'll steal that, when the time comes :)

When I got on my scales this morning it said I weigh 216 lbs now!! That's 10 lbs off and I have gotten my 13 lbs off that I had gained.. it's hard to believe.. but I am so determined. What a great mindset it is to know that there are times when food seems to call my name, but I've resisted the call so far. It's a power struggle, and knowing that I can come here and know too that you all have the same feelings.

[Nick N Ava's Grammy]

Cindy, thank you for your good advice. It just makes me wonder.. why are people so nosey? I know it's human.. but when someone I know loses weight.. or even gains weight.. I don't talk about it, UNLESS they mention it first. And then I'm supportive as possible. To me, it's personal, and I respect them, why can't they respect me?

Oh well, all I know is, this is the calmest I have felt about weight loss.. ever! I have hope, and all of you :)

[Jachut]

The band kept me going. Its easy to lose 20lb, its not so easy to lose 40 or more. I have in fact gotten down to a BMI of about 29 once or twice over the past few years (I was banded at a BMI of 35) but I could never get to a truly healthy weight and I'm am ambitious one, I'm shooting for a BMI of about 21, it just seems my natural body type that has emerged is quite a lean one, I need to be quite light.

And my MAIN reason for being banded was to keep the weight off.

I copped it a bit becuase I was only a BMI of 35. Loads of people felt I didnt need surgery. If I hadnt had it I would have had a BMI of 40 by now, I'm sure of it.

And the chance its given me to get really fit, I'll always be grateful for that. Yes, I've done the running myself and band or no band could continue to do it. But it gave me the motivation, and I really feel like I've discovered the secret of eternal youth. All my son's friends think I"m 30ish, not 40!

[Nick N Ava's Grammy]

Hi Jacqui, thanks for your reply, I read each resonse with interest and I take everyones opinion and story to heart. I know what you mean, about losing 20 lbs but going the long distance isn't quite as easy. I am working so hard to get this 20 lbs off pre-surgery. One day the scales will say I've lost 10 lbs, and today the scales said I gained 1.2 lbs.. and I'm totally watching every little thing that goes in my mouth, plus walking more too. I'm also drinking my 64 oz of water. In the fridge I have water all measured out. I'm discouraged at one point, but it makes me all the more determined to get this off. I realize I shouldn't get on the scales every day.. but it's a hard habit to break. Tonight I'm going to a support group meeting with my neighbor Sue. She's had bypass with the Dr that will do my surgery. I'm excited to be going.

Well.. that's all for now..

[little t]

For a while I was weighing every day and it really depressed me. I had my DH hide the scale and he was only allowed to bring it out on Saturday mornings. It worked well for me so I didn't see the little ups and downs, only the downs!

[Nick N Ava's Grammy]

Good idea.. I think I'll have mine do the same thing :)

[kristina]

cindy-u are def. not the first person i have heard that from. i imagine its alot like post partum depression. (which i have had with every child, and needed zoloft for 3 months.) ur soooo excited about the baby...u wait and wait..and pray for the day to come...when it finally does, and you have had the most intense pain of your life..out comes this little baby...and there is no happiness. none. ever. and you wonder what all the fuss was about. and you wonder why u feel like this. and you wonder if you will be a good mommy-or bandster.
i must admit i am totally afraid of those feelings, cause its so scary to feel like that. What do i do? what did i do? so how long does it last? and does everyone feel like that? maybe i will start a thread...and ask..and not hyjack my lovely friends page. hehehe.

[Nick N Ava's Grammy]

Kristina.. as you've told me.. you can hijack over here anytime you want :) Hugsss