losing the fat inside

[NotSoFunny]

I called my doc on friday, pissed off and frustrated. It was after working out, and I was feeling good, but I had spent the whole time staring at the mirror. I felt as though I had not made any changes. I felt like I looked just the same as I did at 372. I was pissed. My doc, bless her, laughed at me. LAUGHED! She is lucky I know her personally. She had some wisdom for me that helped a lot.

The scales are not lying. I am losing. Sometimes fast sometimes slow, but I have definitely lost. While my shape might have not changed yet, I am shrinking. She said that you get to a point where the shape starts forming and you see the differences much more dramatically. But until then, you look the same, you are just slowly shrinking in overall size. She also said that you lose fat inside. I asked her if she meant around the liver and such, and she said no, that our fat pad is thick, and that we lose it from the inside out. She asked if it was easier for me to move in certain ways that I had never done before. As in, I can reach my toes, I can bend further in all directions, etc. We become less dense. Ok.

So I look in the mirror last night. I do notice that I am developing a waistline. I am not one thick shape any longer. My hips are actually showing, even though they are huge, I can see that my waist line is thinning, and my hips are curving out. This is fabulous. I have lost my double chin. almost completely. and my back is less round. its happening. but it is so hard in the first stages of losing weight. Hopefully I am done with the inner fat, and my fat pad is getting thinner and thinner. hopefully i will begin to develop a new shape.

[shackdog]

stay focused and keep the faith it works

[Kathy]

It's interesting to see the shape emerge. My start weight was 242 and I lost 20 pounds on my own the year before banding. THAT 20 pounds was the weight that made me look like you could pop me with a pin. Since then, my shape has been returning (oh so slowly!!!) to pre-wedding (1997) shape with the exception of my blubber belly since having 2 kiddos.

I agree with your doc, it DOES happen from the inside out! And, Amy, you ARE losing! You look Fab, so try not to be hard on yourself. Those damn gym mirrors will kill your spirit if you let them.

I can still see myself looking like a sweaty tic in those mirrors. I hate that image of me. I'd almost like to go back and see what's there now, you know? I *hope* it's a better image than 50 some-odd pounds ago. :rolleyes:

[Ericsmom]

I had never heard of the losing fat from the outside concept. Interesting...

I am changing shape right now, too. We are about the same weight. I went to dinner with close friends on Friday night and they commented on how dramatic the change is in my face, neck and upper chest...It's hard when we look at ourselves all the time.

My husband, who has never been one to offer compliments, says that because he sees me all the time, he doesn't see the change like others do. He said he knows I've lost weight, but it's just not a dramatic reaction from him because he's used to looking at me.

Keep up the great work - you're doing wonderfully and you will continue to see the changes :)

[NotSoFunny]

I am not giving up on myself in anyway. I have to say one of the coolest things about working out where i do is that it is not filled with people that make my self esteem drop through the floor. Just a bunch of big girls like me. And having my friend magda with me makes me feel 1000% safer there. It has been nice.

I am hoping to get an MP3 player for christmas, but they pump a lot of hip hop through the speakers in the main gym area so i am doing ok. they also have tv's on, but all they run is soaps. :( I don't like soaps.

Staring at myself in the mirror was an interesting exp. It was like I was going through the many stages of grief standing there doing my bicep curls and squats. It was strange. By the end of my workout I had accepted my image, but there were points i wanted to cry, laugh, and puke. I wanted to turn away from the mirror, but I knew if I did I would just be doing the same thing I have been doing for the last 9 years. I studied my body. I took very careful inventory. When I close my eyes I can see that image and every detail. I will use that to compare my body on every workout. I will watch how my body moves. how my apron looks when i do squats. how my arms flap in the wind when i do over head presses. I am specifically wearing tighter, no sleeved shirts so that i can see all of my body and how it looks. I am seeing changes, and it is strange. When I look again I do not see them any longer.

I have a close friend who in the last 9 months went from around 300 pounds to 139. she looks amazing. and has no excess skin. very smooth and perfect all over. She is an inspiration, and has spectacular will power. She did this all on her own, no surgery whatsoever. But when i speak with her she says that she looks in the mirror and still sees the fat girl she used to be. She knows the scales don't lie, she knows she is wearing size 4's, she knows that everyone is honest when they tell her how good she looks. But she still sees the old her.

I guess it just takes a while to get past that.

[Jachut]

It gets more and more exciting. I"m at the stage now where every kilogram makes a noticeable difference. Suddenly I can do spaghetti straps and the like. My arms, shoulders, neckline are all completely normal, I have nice collarbones and my boobs actually are separate and distinct from my stomach, which is now pretty much flat (if crepey). All I have left to do is fine tuning, another 10kg will take care of that completely, although no doubt it will take me longer to lose that than the first 20, lol. I took a pair of jeans away that I thought I may not wear, I thought they were too tight, today they're going on ebay becuase they're too big and I only lost 1kg while I was away, but we clocked up easily 15km per day running and walking around Byron Bay, and boy oh boy have I toned up.

You do get there, and you get there BEFORE you get to goal, but that first lot of weight really doesnt seem very visible, its quite disheartening.

[NotSoFunny]

Pnut and I were talking about that once. She said that every 10 and 20 pounds made HUGE differences now, where as in the beginning they made barely noticeable, if any, difference at all.

*sigh* I know i will get there. It is just hard right now. I am in a weird place. I see it, but i don't. I just have to get over this hump. and i will. Every 4 hour gym trip sheds pounds off of me, and my diet is boosting it even more. I am excited. I guess too excited. LOL I want the ultimate results now!! hehehehe I KNOW you all understand that.

[Diane]

Funny, when I saw your pictures that P'nut took of you, I could definately tell you had lost weight!! I know how hard it is for us to see it in ourselves because we are looking in the mirror every day. But others CAN see it.

It was hard for me to look at myself when I was working out at the gym. I was so emberassed!! I could hardly stand it & there were times when I had to go in the bathroom & just sit there for a minute until I felt ready to go back out & face myself again. It really does gets easier!!! But, I am so with ya!!! Keep it up Funny. You know that it will all pay off in the end - just keep telling yourself that. :) :)

High five to you for actually working out!! Just getting your butt to the gym is one of the hardest things to do.

[NotSoFunny]

I really credit my going to the gym everyday to my friend Magda. We went in on this together. She had a membership she was never using, and I needed to go to a gym, so we are taking a "no excuses" approach. If I am not at her house by 10am every weekday she will be on the phone asking me where I am. We are doing this together. She does not have much to lose, and she also is trying to build up a bug, and fill out some sagging arms. our goals are slightly different, but we will get there together.

[JoyceGA]

Funny, that explains so much.

I've lost 80 lbs now, and "I" can't really see it, but others who haven't seen me the whole time notice. I know I have dropped 3 sizes.

But it is the fat/skin that is so different this time from the time I lost at age 30. As I lose weight, the skin is not hard and softer. I have loose skin with what feels like bumps of fat inside -- breaking down. My face has lost the swollen look.

I've got to take pictures this week.

[A1ikou]

Oh do I know where you are coming from!
I have mentioned it many times I think that it's hard to see for ourselves where that weight is going. I am down 92lbs and I admit now I do see it in face and neck and daft as it sounds my ankles are cute now :nod: But my lower belly...I sometimes feel it is never, ever going to change.
I went to buy new shoes (not easy for me here in Greece, they don't understand big wide feet) and while we were there I thought OK, I've lost all this weight so lets get some jeans. BIG mistake. Even the biggest size (and Greek numbers aren't friendly cos big means size 70 ) didn't fit and they looked awful. :sad:
So I understand without thinking. I see this body, I see myself working and although the scale goes down and down I sometimes feel like I'm working against a complete lost cause <sigh>.
We will get there but for some of us, this shape shifting stuff takes a while...

[Goannabanda]

Losing the fat pad from the inside out makes sense, and explains something to me about shape-shifting.

I always wondered why when people lose a large amount of weight, they often appear to have "melted" from the top down while they are in the losing process. During the weight loss, they often look much thinner, yet their arm / belly / bust flaps often still look as big as before, just "less inflated". That must be because the inner parts of the fat pad have been lost. As they approach goal, the body seems to gather much of this looseness in, and tighten up (although sadly, often just leaving the skin flaps for PS to deal with - DOH!). That must be the outer layers of fat being lost so that the skin can finally shrink back into place.

I've never managed to lose enough weight at one time to have that "melted" look - but BRING IT ON!!! I wonder which bits of me will "deflate" the most and which bits (if any) of me will eventually tighten up once my weight loss begins in earnest...

[Vickie1177]

Someone once told me that even though you are loosing the weight and you cant see it because you are looking at the old person. Take a breathe and just stare at yourself for a minute do this everyday and you will finally realize that you are not only changing your inside your outside has changed as well. Most of us are probally still in denial, we cant face the fact that we will finally have our dream and not have to shop at Lane Bryant or Avenue anymore, or when you go to the closet and you pull out your big fleece 30-32 and you still think it looks good on you until someone that you work with tells you that you look like a homey G dog. Take a look in that mirror and tell us what you see.
I know that when I look in the mirror I see a person and I dont know who it is bit I cant wait to meet her.....