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PhotoNut
12-16-2007, 10:49 AM
I was responding to a post by VegasWildFlower (http://band2gether.net/showthread.php?t=5551) when I realized that what I wanted to share something that needed to be heard by everyone. Thus the creation of this thread. I hope it helps someone out there who may be going thru similar struggles.

As I read Vegas' post about her struggle with a band that was too tight, and about the tears she shed when her doctor pulled out all of her fill, I found myself reliving my own similar experience of a few months ago, when my mom was in the hospital and life was more stressful than ever.

I know well that feeling of lying on the table as the doc pulls out all of the protection -- I mean restriction. I cried too! I was empty for three weeks and during that time I acted a fool. It took me no time at all to realize that I could eat things I hadn't eaten in almost two years. I used my empty band as an excuse to act like an idiot and run right back to that which had nearly killed me -- food. Subsequently I gained 15 pounds.

Now fast forward to the refill. My doc put back exactly what I had prior to the unfill. And, yes, I cried when he put it all back!! It was the strangest thing to realize that I was experiencing the same emotions I had prior to surgery. I was crying over losing an old friend who had given me comfort in times of stress and upset -- food.

Both Vegas' doc and mine told us that it was very normal to gain 10-15 pounds when a band is completely unfilled. But they also assured us that, once we were refilled, the weight would quickly fall off again. And the docs were right! At least in my case - I think Vegas may still be empty. Anyway, the weight does quickly fall off again. Thank God! However....

It was only a week or two before I found myself experiencing the same problems which had caused the need for the unfill in the first place. I was too tight. I was sticking on any solid proteins, salads KILLED me, and... this one is very hard to admit to y'all, but here goes... I had begun sticking my finger down my throat to induce vomiting as a means of fast relief from the pain of being stuck. *sigh*

Now, after all this time of being banded, you'd think I would have learned a thing or two. You'd think I would know that my actions were those of someone who was NOT taking care of their health nor their band. But for some reason it had all become so common place for me that I really gave it no thought beyond the fact that it was a quick and easy way to get past the episodes that interfered with my busy schedule.

Then, last Monday night (Dec 10th) I attended the first support group I'd been able to go to in months. Due to the holiday season, our group was meeting a week earlier than usual. We were finally in the new hospital building with a REAL room of our own instead of the tent where we had met for the past two years! (That's a story of it's own! LOL) Anyway, the monthly lapband seminar, for those interested in the band, was also meeting on that night -- right across the hall from us. And Dr. Cahn, my band doc, was on stage talking to all of the hopeful candidates. When he finished his presentation, several of us from the support group were asked if we would mind coming across the hall to speak to the group and to share our band experiences. We were delighted to help out.

We were answering questions and wow'ing everyone with our reports of enormous weight loss, when someone in the audience asked, "Is there a time when you reach the right amount of restriction and no longer need adjustments?" After we all chuckled, I took on the question. I explained that adjustments would probably be an ongoing part of a bandster's life. I explained to the group that there is a wide variety of things that affect the amount restriction we have. Stress, pain, weight loss, a woman's time of the month... all of those things can cause the restriction levels to change. And as I was explaining how important it would be for them to stay in HONEST communication with their band doctors, I looked over at Dr. Cahn and it hit me right between the eyes. I was not practicing what I was preaching! I grinned at him as I continued speaking, "Never let yourself rely on foods that go down easily because your band is too tight to eat healthily. If you find yourself relying on crackers and milkshakes, you need to see your doctor for an adjustment." Dr. Cahn smiled and nodded, and I knew he understood.

After we finished, I went over and hugged my doc (I love that guy!) and he said quietly, "Call tomorrow and get an appointment." I assured him I would, but when the next morning arrived I found myself at his receptionists desk, saying, "Think you could squeeze me in?" And they did.

I chatted with my doc and told him about how I had lost that 15 pounds I had gained when my band was empty, and then I told him how I had gained all of it back by living on crackers and cream cheese for the last 6 weeks. I explained that every time I sat down to a healthy meal of chicken and steamed veggies or salad, I would end up stuck by the second bite. I admitted to then running to the bathroom and making myself throw up until the offending piece of food was gone. And then I admitted to coming out of the bathroom and heading straight for those crackers and cream cheese because I was HUNGRY! Sure, I wasn't eating a big meal, only snacking, so it never seemed like I was eating much. How did I gain 15 pounds??!!

Well, 4oz of chicken breast and 1/2 cup of veggies has about 200 calories. But 5 Ritz crackers have 80 calories, and 2 tablespoons of Garden veggie cream cheese (hey, I was being responsible and buying the Light stuff) is 60 calories. I'm guessing there are at least 30 crackers in each individual package of Ritz, so lets do the math -- 5 crackers, 80 calories x 6 = 480 calories, add on at least 1/2 the container of cream cheese and that's an additional 210 calories, totaling 690 for one snack! :eek:

Where am I now? Well, I have found that with 1cc (down from 2.8cc) I can eat 4oz of chicken and salad with no trouble at all. I actually get that bandster-type full feeling and I don't even think about snacking. I'm no longer hungry! And most importantly, I'm not in the bathroom, suffering with my finger down my throat. It's really all about getting back to the basics, isn't it?

I've been banded nearly two years. I've lost 130 pounds and gained back 15 of those. And yet I was doing the very thing I have warned people about -- don't live with a tight band! I was putting my band and my health at risk.

I love my band. I no longer weigh 307 pounds because of my band. My band has held me steady through some amazingly difficult times which, in the past, would have caused me to regain all the lost weight and more. My band reminds me daily that I have a real friend now. Food was never my friend. My band saved my life and continues to protect me. And even so, I was doing things which I knew could cost me my precious band.

To return to the question from the audience, "Is there a time when you reach the right amount of restriction and no longer need adjustments?" The answer is NO. Life is all about making adjustments. Life changes daily. We change daily. So, never ever ever forget to stop and re-evaluate your current situation. A minor adjustment could save you a lot of grief, pain, and sorrow.

Thanks for listening.
*hugs*

Neal R.
12-16-2007, 12:44 PM
Well said Susan! Thanks for always being insightful with your posts. You are so right. It is an ongoing process, both the adjustment and the headwork. For me personally, with the food issues I have had all my life, I don't know if I will ever get to the point where I don't think about my band and my food consumption. If I don't I am ok with that. I am prepared to battle the weight thing for the long haul with my band.

AnnDe
12-16-2007, 01:07 PM
AMEN SISTER!!!!!!!

MoOrLess
12-17-2007, 02:24 AM
Thank you P'nut for sharing your recent experience. I'm sitting with relieved tears....I've been reallly struggling. I got my first fill at the end of November, after Thanksgiving. I lost 2 lbs, and then stopped. I have re-gained that 2 lbs and was just sitting here feeling sad and frustrated.

After reading your thread I realized that I just need to "think" before I begin eating - stop after 15 minutes - acknowledge that I won't die if I don't get in as much as I think I should at meal time - and life will go on.

I "can" eat salads, bread (if moist) and chicken. I "can't" seem to get full with a decent amount of food each meal -- so what is my problem? It appears to be that I am being stubborn and WANT to be able to consume that 1 cup of food lol -- some moments I have restriction - then I feel like I don't -- and I think I'm just bored with the same foods over and over again --

so it's time for me to get creative - find some sanity (this school term is 'almost' over with) and remember that I am just a baby bandster who needs to be appreciative of the 45 lbs gone forever!

HUGS P'nut - tomorrow truly IS a new day -- you are always so honest and open when your life is 'centered' once again, thank you for that!

PhotoNut
12-17-2007, 09:14 AM
Mo, getting my head around the fact that I wasn't going to be able to eat until I was emotionally full was a biggie for me. It was, and still is, very frustrating to "need" that food so much only to find that after a couple of bites, its over - time to stop.

Another oddity that I had to learn to accept was that there wasn't going to be the traditional full feeling I was used to. You know, that stuffed lower-belly type full? Because of my band, feeling full was now something very different. No longer that comfort of a full, warm, snuggle time, belly. Now it was a slight pain in the chest (pressure on the diaphram), or hiccups, or nausea and pb'ing in the times I didn't listen to my body and stop when I should have.

It took a long time to make myself understand that eating a little now and then a little more later on was really OK, and that I had to find a different way to find comfort in times that I had traditionally relied on food. And that, is a topic for the Doing the Headwork section! haha!

WorkInProgress
12-17-2007, 10:09 AM
You have inspired me to get a fill!!!!! I know I need one but with the holidays coming I wanted to eat what I wanted to eat. Now I know that Christmas is just another day closer to recovery and I have to stay focused.

"Just" Paul
12-17-2007, 10:33 AM
P'nut...

We love ya, and we've all been there in one way or another.

it is INDEED a change in our LIVES that will make this thing work.

Life will have little setbacks... but it is a test of your character as to how you recover from them, and you've shown us the strength of you character by opening up to all of us, and going and restoring your faith in what helped to get you here, your band and your attitude!

We ALL rock, even when it is tough. When it gets slow, just keep in mind what you have done, not what you have failed to do.

Keep on, keeping on.

Alicia521
12-17-2007, 11:27 AM
This is so true! I have been beating myself up because I'm about 5 lbs more than where textbooks say I should be with pregnancy weight gain. Thanks for posting this! My surgeon did not warn me that most people gain 10-15 lbs with an unfill so it is a relief to read this. On top of my huge prego appetite, I have an unfilled band to go along with it. Talk about a challenge! I actually thought I could keep my prego weight gain under 25 lbs...haha. Anyway, I know my circumstances are different but it helps to read this nonetheless. Thanks for posting Susan!

MoOrLess
12-17-2007, 03:54 PM
P'nut - gee how did you know? did ya hear me talking lol.....what you said in your last post is EXACTLY where I am at - learning that it is ok to be "satisfied" and to stop looking for that full feeling! OMG thank you -- seeing it in print is definitely working better for me than in my head lol -- you definitely do rock girl!

CaribnQn
12-17-2007, 04:30 PM
Susan, that was well said.

DonHoll1
12-17-2007, 10:17 PM
Susan, Thanks so much for your post. You really help me stay on track. I have been snacking too much of late and you brought that in to focus for me.It is easier to get junk down than food. I need to pay more attention to what I eat. Donna:hug::spaghetti::feedme::hungry:

Natashad
12-18-2007, 06:19 AM
'No longer that comfort of a full, warm, snuggle time, belly. Now it was a slight pain in the chest (pressure on the diaphram), or hiccups, or nausea and pb'ing in the times I didn't listen to my body and stop when I should have.'

Susan Im so relieved to read this and realise Im not a little odd. I got back from my first fill last night. I had hiccups all the way home and for most of the evening. Prior to that I often get hiccups after a meal - is that my body saying its had enough or that I've had too much. Help appreciated :)

PhotoNut
12-18-2007, 10:49 AM
I'm so glad that sharing my experiences is helping others!

Hey Natasha, I was wondering how you're doing with your new fill. Are you still hiccuping? I'm wondering if you might be a bit too tight.

Does your doc put you on liquids for a couple of days after an adjustment? Some do, some dont. Mine does, but I have to confess to not always sticking to it. I get so hungry I eat cottage cheese or soft soups like bean with bacon. I typically have some swelling in my stomach after a fill, so staying on soft stuff for 48 hrs does help.

Anyway, I was just curious to know how youre doing. :)

Natashad
12-19-2007, 04:08 AM
Hey ,
Im doing very good now thanks. No more hiccups. The fill was only on Monday. My Dr told me to be on liquids until I felt comfortable enough to move onto soft food (maybe a couple of days). I have to admit I only had liquids the night after the fill and since then have been eating softish foods. Its going down ok. I am having to eat slowly and chew like crazy but it doesnt hurt or cause any unpleasantness. Im a salad/raw veggie freak and Im crying out for some but staying off until tomorrow/Friday. I doubt Im too tight to be honest. My head is finding it very hard to deal with stopping eaiting with food still on my plate though. Also not hoovering up my food is my biggest challenge as of yet - but eating slower sure has made everything taste better. Ive lost 24lbs so far so good :)
Thanks for your support
Natasha x

Lovemylpband
12-19-2007, 08:00 AM
Susan, Thanks so much for sharing that with us. It is so helpful to hear stuff like this.

Blessings

PhotoNut
12-19-2007, 09:01 AM
You're welcome, Dianne. How are those new bewbies holding up, eh? :wink2:

Natasha, I'm glad to hear that the hiccups stopped! *laughs* I know what you mean about the food left on the plate issue though. I used to be very good about serving my food on a salad plate, but over time I have progressed back up to a full sized plate. What you just said reminded me that I need to be thinking bandster size servings. When that plate is in front of me with food on it, I'll sit there and pick at it until it's gone. The entire kitchen will have been cleaned up around me and there I'll be - picking at that darn plate. So today, I'm going back to the small plates AND back to setting a time limit for finishing my food. Fifteen minutes. When the time's up. I'm getting up, and away from the table.

I have stuck with using a salad fork rather than a full size fork. This helps a great deal when trying to remember to take small bites.

Hm.. this has just inspired a new thread. :heh:

Dustbunny
12-29-2007, 11:46 AM
I am going to see Dr. Adnderson on the 7th, most likely for a fill. I have to admit I dread it. After the first fill I was so tight that I PBd for every dinner at least, usually on the second bite for a month, then saw Dr. up 6 pounds, no fill, saw Dr. a month later down 17 pounds, two months later at nearly same weight as two months ago, not PBing at all, I know I'm going to get a fill. Thing is I really hate sticking and sliming and PBing, so dread it. I do like losing weight though and really want to do that again, and though not eating more than I'm supposed to it isn't happening.
Thanks for this thread Susan. It's helpful. Deb

Vegaswildflower
12-29-2007, 02:04 PM
Thank you for this, you always seem to know just the right thing to say..
as for me, im acting a fool.. ( immagine that)
my Dr is an ass and I love him for it,, I went to get my fill and he wouldnt give it to me becasue of my eatting behavior.. ( I dont Blame him ,, I ate a bagel .. for goodness sake) he said, call the office when you can go 10 days on a liquid diet.. eat as much of it as you need ( anything that can go thrugh a straw) then you can have a fill. So today is day one again.. damn holidays..
its ok, I have enjoyed my little vacation,and not having any reflux, and sleepless nights has been so great. now I am ready to get back to loosing. even going back to the GYM..
Thanks again susan, its feels so good to be ' Normal"

PhotoNut
12-29-2007, 02:48 PM
Ok, this is just my opinion... TEN days on a liquid diet to earn a fill? Um, didn't we get the band to help prevent us from overeating? Didn't we get the band to prevent us from being able to eat a bagel, or a burger, or pizza, or whatever else we've been killing ourselves with? I can see going a few days on a strict diet to break ourselves of a carb cycle, or even to "cleanse" ourselves of the crap we've been eating, but not as proof that we deserve a fill. Sorry, Vegas, but I see that as advice coming from someone that doesn't truly understand the way a band should be used. I rely on my band as a safety net of sorts. I know my personality, I know my weaknesses, and I know my history with food. If I thought I could rely on my own willpower to keep me from eating bagels, I wouldn't have needed the band. Granted, the doc might be wanting you to prove to him that you can control yourself and that you're not just wanting your band to do it all for you. But that really seems extreme to me.

Deb, I hear ya about dreading PB's but a fill should not equal a life of misery and pain. A proper amount of restriction should limit our intake and, yes, even cause negative results if we eat foods that are known to be problematic to bandsters. I think that in order to know if we are at a proper amount of restriction, it requires a conscious effort to follow the bandster rules. Eating the wrong kinds of foods, eating too quickly, drinking while eating, eating on the run, eating when tense, etc.. all of those things can cause unnecessary PB's that might not be because of the restriction level. As in all things, its going to require a balance of the band and self.

Also keep in mind that just because we aren't losing weight, it might not mean we don't have enough restriction! Replacing good foods with the crap we can eat a lot of is a sure way to gain weight.

We can't have a really tight band and still be able to eat 1,200 calories a day - which is what we should all strive to do! If we combine the lists below, we will easily burn fat, build muscle, eat healthily, and feel great while having a tool that isn't being used unwisely, thereby making it ineffective.

These are basics that I keep telling myself I need to get back to:

1. Prepare a meal of 4oz of protein and 1/2 cup of fresh or cooked veggies
2. Serve the meal on a small plate, and eat it with a small fork
3. Set a target of 15 minutes to eat the meal, helps prevent gobbling the food and also keeps me from eating more than I should by nibbling on a huge plate for 45mins.
4. Take small bites, and chew well.
5. Lay down the fork between bites.
6. Avoid drinking liquids 1/2 hour prior to a meal, during a meal, and at least 1 after a meal. This prevents flushing food through the pouch, leaving us hungry or stuck!

And a few more of my own:
1. NO FOOD THAT CONTAINS WHEAT OR SUGAR!!!
2. Avoid high calorie liquids or soft foods.
3. Journal my calorie/fat/protein and water intake.
4. Get a min of 30 minutes of exercise every day.

We have an awesome tool inside of us. Because of that tool we do not have to do this all on our own, (like Vegas' doc is making her do in order to earn that fill -- ok, I'm a little ticked about that! Sorry Vegas) but we also have to know how to use that tool in a way that will achieve the results we want. Think of a crescent wrench. Open too wide and the tool will not turn the nut, but close it too much and it won't even fit the nut. It has to be adjusted to the right size in order to achieve the desire results. We are all different, so comparing fill amounts is pointless. Also, our bodies are constantly changing, making it necessary to keep adjusting that tool to ensure the proper fit.

Ok, I'm rambling now.. but I'm also preaching to myself! The main things I want to emphasize in this post are, number one: we paid for our bands because we needed a tool, and our doctors should be working with us to keep that tool properly adjusted, and number two: the band should never ever cause us pain, pain equals the need for an adjustment, and finally number three: there is no way around the bandster rules, if you want your band to work, you have to work with your band.

Thanks for listening! *steps off the soapbox... for now* :wink2:

MoOrLess
12-29-2007, 11:26 PM
cheers! nuff said....

JDru
12-30-2007, 01:04 AM
Oh, P'Nut. I truly believe what you've written. I stuggle, every day. I think January will be my starting point. December has been full of highs and lows. Right now, I feel pretty low. I know you have struggled with alcohol and wine. I struggle with alcohol too. I feel so low sometimes. It's very hard to admit. But I admire your courage to speak out about your struggles. This life is not always easy, but we're in it together. Thanks for your support! Love ya!

Dustbunny
12-30-2007, 10:46 AM
Susan:
When you say no wheat, I eat bulgar wheat occaisonlly, but don't eat breads or crackers or other things made with wheat, because if I do it makes me really crave more and really hungry. I don't find that with a serving of bulgar wheat. I have it or quinoa when my family has spaghetti.
I have been spotty on my exercise this month, but am getting my protein, water, chewing, spotty on getting my vitamins. I have been at this weight since August. I go up to 205 or as low as 198 but sheeze it's getting on my nerves!
Deb

Greeneyetiger
12-30-2007, 03:02 PM
Thank you P'Nut !!!

I am having the same struggle with wanting to eat until I am emotionally full. I am a big emotional eater and when I think of not being able to eat the things my head wants I get so sad and upset. I have to see my surgeon for a check up and see about my fill level. I may see if he can fill me just .2 - .5 cc's. I don't think I need much. I need to get back to the basics of chewing better, drinking my water and not with my meals. It is terrible when you go off track. Getting back on is so darn hard to do. I made me feel not so alone when I read your post. Thanks again for sharing. It seems a few of us our in the same boat.

I just started journaling my emotions and food again. I am getting started again. Thanks goodness the band lets you start over again.

DeerCreek-125
01-05-2008, 05:49 AM
Wow Thank you for sharing I really thought I was starting to loose my focus. I called the doc and scheduked a fill for mest Tuesday. With the holidays so crazy I forgot how much all of your support was playomg in my life. THANK YOU & GOD BLESS

mimi r
01-05-2008, 06:35 AM
Thanks so much for this thread. I don't post much to the site, but am "roaming" around site at least 2x a day to read new posts to find words of widom. :confused:Since I was banded on Nov 19th, I feel I need the advice & am certainly not in a position to give any. I thought the 6 months pre-op was the training time, but truth is I don't know Sh_t! :eyerub:I dropped 22 lbs pre & post & am struggling to hold on to that loss. I go to Dr Wednesday am for my first fill. I feel like telling him to fill that sucker to the brim. I'll do liquids till the cows come home (NC thing) just choke that bugger off! I am having unhealthy thoughts just like you just to get the band jump started again.
After holidays, I thought I could crack the whip & get back in the process, but my hubby started the night shift last night & found the late night temptations did not go back to North Pole with Santa.
The snow & cold weather has disrupted my walking schedule, so I think I will go to rec center today & walk the inside track. I gotta do something.
Thanks & keep writing!:neener:
Phyllis.