Getting extra attention all of the sudden?

[Tricia K.]

Telly and I were talking this evening about how drastic weight loss can bring on extra attention from men (and women, some of which can be catty) and she asked me to share my comment to her here on the forum. So, here goes...

The attention, in and of itself, is a good thing. It reinforces the positive side of the weight loss as well as strokes your ego (in a good way). It should, in no way, make you feel insecure or guilty.

I feel very strongly about this but wanted to open up a discussion about any attention you've experienced and how it made you feel.

With that said, have any of you experienced any extra attention from men? If so, how did it make you feel?

Have any of you experienced any negative attention from your weight loss? If so, how did it make you feel?

[HeatherGurl]

I am glad you started this thread Tricia!
Attention from men... I wish!!! I agree 100% with what you said. It would boost my ego crazy mad like if I got hit on by a guy... I have NEVER been hit on! It drives me nuts! I think I am fairly attractive and I am no longer disgustingly fat... so what's the deal?

Negative attention from Women: YES, YES, YES!
Ladies here at work who have had the same surgery are so ugly to me just because I have lost more than them. I don't look at it as a race, I look at it as us trying to get healthy. I am 20 years younger than this mean ladies and I watch what I eat, and I work out. They have NO right to be ugly to me...
But, when you are insecure about yourself you lash out on others to make yourself feel better.:tsk:

SO, there are a few events coming up that I am hoping to be hit on, or someone offer to buy me a drink or slap a booty (not really) or SOMETHING!

Side note: DH's friends have told him I am looking good, but not a single word to me!

[SandraDee]

Positive attention, yes from both men and women. It makes me feel good, but the attention from my husband makes me feel the best. The positive attention makes me much more motivated to stay on track.

Negative attention, only from women. It was odd at first because it was unexpected. I would go back and reevaluate my actions to figure out what I did wrong to make them act this way towards me. I would be a little confused and wonder what I had done to offend them. But now, I just ignore that and if possible, give them a friendly smile. Kill them with kindness. It makes me feel better.

[Richard Froshiesar]

The attention can be a very positive thing, to help build ones self esteem back to where they like themselves

[Kathy473]

The extra attention is fun! Gave me a big boost and really helped me out. Everyone from old friends, new friends that didn't know me prior to surgery, family are like :eek: WOW! Haven't had really any negative stuff. I changed my hair, got a cute little car...I actually think the car is getting the looks not me....It's really cute!!! My DH has noticed the looks I get. He likes it. He knows it's good for me to be looked at and complimented. :nod:

[PhotoNut]

*gives a lot of attention to Kathy's tattoos*

*snickers*

Sara and I are going to get tats while she's here visiting us. We just don't know what yet. Ooo! We should get the whole gang to get a tat together! *runs off to the Idaho thread to post about it*

By the way, all y'all look great. Just don't hog ALL the attention out there m'kay?

["Just" Paul]

Wow, Tricia great thread idea.

It is funny, back when I was younger, I got lots of attention from the opposite sex, but after college, as I gained weight, it really stopped. Sure, I had girlfriends, but not a lot of flirting and such.

Recently, in the last couple months, that has DRAMATICALLY changed. I am getting Tons of attention, wanted and unwanted. Recently, at my wife's 20th class reunion, two friend of hers (friends from school, not regular friends) rather openly hit one me. one kept holding my arm, and putting her head on my shoulder, and telling me how great I look... the other kept rubbing herself on me. It was quite uncomfortable. as much as I like the attention, I am not used to it being so openly brazen... this never happened to me before. I like the attention, I guess I just didn't know folks could be so open about it... I don't really remember if this was how it used to be.. of course back then I was single, and drunk a lot!

As far as other guys goes, I have a good friend on a film project that is worried that my character will now be better looking than his, and he is supposed to be the show's "stud" character... he's mentioned it quite a few times now. Most guys aren't too threatened, and don't seem negative at all, if they say anything.

[DonnaB]

[QUOTE="Just" Paul;5241 . . . As far as other guys goes, I have a good friend on a film project that is worried that my character will now be better looking than his, and he is supposed to be the show's "stud" character... he's mentioned it quite a few times now. [/QUOTE]


He probably can't think of any other way to compliment you without feeling "gay." Guys are so hung up on, or worried about, giving the impression of being gay.

Oh wait . . . is he gay?

LOL

[Telly]

Tricia, I am glad you posted this.

I have been experiencing some cattyness from in-laws. The men in the family wanna sit close to me during dinners, bar-b-ques. Even my own father-in-law is all in my grill. LOL. I love the attn b/c it's all new, all over again to me, but the cattyness is not necessary. I do not stand there and flirt with my in-laws. That's just ill to me. I would NEVER! But my sister-in-laws think they need to treat me like crap lately. :( I'll get over it.

OmG did I get the evil smurk from my sister-in-law when her husband looked over at me and said that I had a terrific smile :D. "Thanks bro!" I said but boy did I feel very uneasy. Why should I feel that way when I've done nothing to warrant evil grins?

[Natural-1]

Great topic!

For me it's been both good and bad. Not a day has gone by that a man hasn't hit on me in some way or another. But I've been out of the loop for so long that I don't notice it. My girlfriend usually tells me. The best is my hubby, even today at church he looked over at me and said baby, you look good! I love it!!! He is my favorite cheer leader.

On the other hand with women, other than my friends, they are haters. I have had people to stop speaking to me because of my weight lost. I really feel sorry for people like that, it's not about who looks the best it's about my health and if I happen to look good in the process, well, what can I say, God has blessed me!

My in-laws still haven't seen me yet, only my SIL so it will be interesting to see their expressions. My SIL asked me today at church, have you reached your goal yet? You are skinny!!! Now that fealt good, she said I can't call you big girl no more. I said you're right but I didn't know you was calling me that anyway.

[Idahobeauty]

I am not banded yet, as most of you know, but I am going to post this anyway.

I debated for about a month weather or not I would tell my closest friend that I planned on being banded. I finally felt the time and mood was right and I told her. She really had no reaction other than to tell her husband that he needed to do that :mad: Well, I thought all was good. She has not returned my phone calls or spoken to me since. I was very sad at first because I don't have any family here and she was a person I could talk to about "girl" stuff and go shopping with etc. Well, I decided at that moment that I would not allow myself to be surrounded with people who can not be supportive of my situation. It is just not worth it to me. So for now I will shop and dream of my goal size alone...LOL.

[mini_me]

i was thin until about my early twenties. i did not realize the attention that i got from the opposite sex until i gained weight and the attention stopped. i was very aware that guys at the bar were no longer giving me second looks or asking to dance or buy me a drink. i was not too devastated about the lack of attention, as i was married and quite happy. however, i have always been very aware of the time when the looks and flirting from the opposite sex started. i gave a lot of thought about the psychology of it all...and that is when i noticed just how differently i was treated by all people. it was as though my weight discredited me in many ways. i was not taken as seriously, i felt mocked at times, i often felt as though i was dismissed from conversations, etc.

with time, i have overcome any insecurities i have had with my weight. i can honestly say that the way i was treated, and the way i percieved i was treated...was real. the public, in general, is overweight according to the evening news. but the general public discriminates against overweight ppl.

in high school, two of my very favorite friends were overweight. someone once accused me of being around them to make myself look better. i fought back vehemently...those two girls were the most fun, loyal, caring, and SMART of all of my friends. since i went to a very small school, it was easy to be friends with everyone. it was clearly evident to me, by the age of 15, that my overweight friends were more honest and funny and just fun to be around that the 'normal' weight friends.

to this day, i still feel drawn to the person who i see everyone else shrugging off seemingly because of their size.

i have had a couple of coworkers finally notice i have lost some weight, but i have not noted a difference yet in the way i am treated. as soon as i do, i will be sure to post it here.

have i told you guys lately how much i love you!!!!!!!

oh, yeah, butterfly1973 is on the "other" board. she is my friend who was supposed to have gall bladder surgery this thursday. when i found out, i pulled her to a screeching halt and told her to look into getting the band along with the gb. she called dr. spivak's office, and he will do both, with insurance covering the gb, and a lesser fee of 11,500 to do the band at the same time!! i am getting her to come over to b2g...i told her about both but i did not want to get into the details of why i prefered this board. i wanted her to have access to LOTS of info, quick. i told her about the band on thursday afternoon, she called docs/insurances on friday. by saturday, she was at the seminar/consult, approved for financing, and scheduled for surgery. she did very little research on the band...so i was encouraging her to use this coming week to do all of the homework she can and be informed.
well, anyway, i justed wanted to let yall know she was coming...my friend...butterfly1973...

[Tricia K.]

Yay for butterfly1973!! Thanks for sharing your story, Roni. :hug:

[Diane]

I have received good & bad attention. It's really strange how people react to our weight loss isn't it? You can really see the true person inside by how they react to us when we are looking & feeling better.

I have some "friends" who have really decided they want to be my best friends now. They are the fit, cute & pretty ones who kept me at a distance before. Now that I seem to fit in more with their type, they are so kind & nice. They invite me to their lunches & parties. I really don't want anything to do with them & they are offended that I have turned them down. What was wrong with me BEFORE?!?!?

I get attention from men that is unexpected. I was heavy all the way through high school & into college. I never turned heads or felt beautiful. NOW - I seem to get a lot of men who want to stop me & ask me questions. They are more friendly & "touchy". It's a good feeling, but just not anything I've ever had happen to me before.

For the most part, people are good & supportive of me. The attention is really too much for me sometimes. I just wish people would just let me be me & not gawk. :) :) I'm sure I'll get used to it!! :nod:

[TrishS]

Good topic! I have not had any attention at all from either men or women. But I have thought about how it would make me feel. I think I would feel good if a man was "checking me out" I would feel like I have the ability to look good. I cant wait for the day that I will be looked at because im Pretty NOT Fat!!!!!!

[Susan]

Nope, no attention either way here yet. But, I have only lost 35.2 pounds, so I don't think it is noticable yet. Plus, I started a new job about a six weeks after having my surgery, and most people there don't know about my surgery, or are not at that comfortable stage with me yet where they comment. I haven't seen my parents since shortly after my surgery, and we are going to see them this weekend. I am looking forward to it to see if they notice a difference, because I really need to hear from someone that it is noticable. Hubby says he can tell by the way I feel when he holds me, I guess that is good.

[NotSoFunny]

i have gotten TONS of attention from the people around me. the runner next door doesn't like me anymore, and the husband tells me whenever i see him how i mae a mistake. the bartender at the club we go to every weekend can tell EXACTLY how much weight i have lost, and tells me where he sees it. but unfortunately he tells people that we see a lot there too, and when i go out dancing i see talking, and pointing and hushed whispers. the other bartender chick also hates me. I have had guys come up to me and tell me that they notice a difference, and I have never seen them before.

Its hard. I like some of the attention. Other attention makes me want to crawl into a hole.

[Iulizbug]

I get hit on or "looked at" in the way that I did when I was thin a few yrs ago again. It is nice and boosts my confidence b/c that is when I realized that I really was MO and not cute anymore when there was no more guys checking me out anymore. But the catty women at work are horrible--and funny that somebody mentioned it was the ones who HAD the surgery b/c I have found that those are the worst. And some that are still MO themselves and haven't done anything about it. Some women who have been banded at work look at it as a competition and are always rude to me while I see them eating only "soft foods". So I know why they aren't losing but whatever. I try not to let it get me down and just focus on the positive comments.

~Liz~
03/10/06
241/166/160
5'7''

[HeatherGurl]

I got hit on this weekend!!! YAY!!!! It was pretty innocent and the guy was really sweet when he notice my ring and apologized. It was awesome!

Also ran into a guy from High School at HEB and he literally stopped dead in his tracks and his mouth dropped open. It was all I could do to keep from laughing at him. (note:I was never this size in HS, a lot bigger)

So this weekend proved to be awesome in the ego boosting category for me!

[kelliebelly]

I too have the girls that want to be friends now that didnt before. The mothers at the school that sat in their little group and ignored me now speak to me. I am polite but as far as I am concerned if I wasnt good enough then for them then they are not good enough for me now.
As for guys, well if anyone looked at me I would surely have an excuse made up in a second that they were only looking at how big my butt is or something, I still have quite a way to go with the self esteem thing.
I just wish we didnt live in a world where alot of people are treated like nothing if they are big and treated normal if they are not.
On our local current affairs show tonight they took a size 12 pretty girl and made her a size 24 with a fat suit. The change in the way she was treated was appalling - clothes shops, restauants and night clubs. Why are some people so cruel?

[Jeannine]

Heather, I think those mean ladies have green eyes! Also, in this politically correct environment, folks are afraid to make some comments on fear of being accused of harrasment. I think it's great that your husband's friends have noticed something other than a football game!

jeannine

[Tricia K.]

YAY for all of the positive attention. It certainly does wonders for our egos, doesn't it?

[Telly]

There's soo much "extra" attn now. It's overwhelming.

[NotSoFunny]

Kellie you touched on something that is very near and dear to my heart. I do not get all political in the discrimination. Its human nature, and it is sad. It has happened to me a lot. But what bothers me is when people take notice, and bring it up in a big way. the cowardly stuff is almost better in comparrison. When we go to the club, and I get on the dance floor and dance with rob it really irks me when people come up to me afterwards and make comments like "You can really move for a big girl!" or "I am so impressed with the confidence you have to go out there and dance at your size!". They may feel that they are being complimentary, but it sucks. We love the club that we go to the most, and there are a lot of regulars that go weekly. We all dance, drink, and just have fun. But it is hard cause I am known within that regular group as "the fat girl who had surgery" and not just as Amy. Since my weight loss I do get the congradulations and the appreciation of the hard work i am doing. I know that a lot of them mean well. But it is just hard. I am also known as the surgery girl with rob's coworkers. It got so tiring of being introduced as "This is Amy, Rob's wife, and she had weight loss surgery" that we just don't go to work functions any longer. I know that when I get to goal, and we do more work functions people will see the difference and talk about it more. Sometimes the magnifying glass can cause too much pain and stress.

There is a catty group of girls that hang out with the bartender chick at our club. I think they come in just for free drinks and keep her company. they sit and point and laugh. The dance floor has mirrors around it so even if i turn my back on them I can still see them pointing and talking. Rob was standing at the bar one night, and I was out dancing, and he heard them talking about me. Saying I was "gross" and a "fat cow". He let them have it, and one of the girls that worked behind the bar got fired for it. But just knowing made me not want to go back for a while. I am glad Rob made me go back. It is helping me be stronger by facing the naysayers.

Then there are days where I have has a crappy week, and I just need to let loose, and I feel like I have made no progress. We go out clubbing, walk into the club and I get everyone telling me how well I have done and it makes my day. At least they notice a difference on the days I don't notice it.

[Morsaille]

Sorry Funny, I hate the "big girl" attention so much that I avoid going out. I tell myself that I am a mom now, but I know that it is only fear of being whispered about and pointed at. I know perfectly well that being a Mom wouldn't stop Karaoke/dance nights if I weighed 160.

but... I got "eyed" this weekend! I had almost forgotten the lingering eye-contact/smile combo that I used to love getting so much. The guy was even kind of cute.

I am still big. I have been feeling better about myself and have even started wearing more make-up. I had kind of given up on myself *cringe*

[NotSoFunny]

Brenda, you are BEAUTIFUL and have a smile that lights up a room. No need to give up on yourself. LOL You have it all, big or small :) enjoy those sweet smiles and the lingering eye contact.

[Morsaille]

AWWWWW!! YOU TOO, Funny!! I've seen the pictures. You are gorgeous!

[NotSoFunny]

well with the haircut i am just cute now, but thanks :D LOL

I think the hardest thing for me is that I am fighting a double battle when I go out. I suffer from sever post traumatic stress syndrome which also developed into pretty sever agoraphobia (fear of public places or crowds). My weight only adds fuel to this fire, and the magnifying glass of everyone knowing about the band makes it hard for me to feel like I can dissapear. Therapy has gotten me to do a lot in public, but I have to have a safety person with me or I freak out and panic. That is either Rob, or a few of my friends. If they are with me or near me then I feel more at ease.

[Kathy473]

One thing that I have also realized and didn't really pay too much attention to it until now, my friends. All of my friends have gone on a diet and I am wondering if it is because of my weightloss and all the attention I get now. What do you think?

[Tricia K.]

LOL @ Kathy. I've noticed a similar pattern with a few of my friends.

[Telly]

LOL, me too. My sister-in-law actually started to workout and lose weight. Diet is a 4 letter word in our family. It's awesome to see the positive chain reaction.

[MoOrLess]

I have to chuckle - I have a daughter now seriously losing weight (30 lbs) since I started working hard at losing weight myself the past few months. We always go out shopping together and have dinner and she ALWAYS wants dessert - I refused and after the third time she caught on that I wasn't going to share dessert with her. Now she's lost more than I have lol - I'm thrilled for her!

The attention thing is funny I think - I get it when I am driving in my car. Guys eye me and smile - I turn my head - looking behind me or on the sides - like who are they smiling at? They drive off and I go....OH duh, me. lol And then I think - oh if they saw the rest of me they wouldn't smile....but I don't think that way as much now - I guess knowing I am 'doing something' about my weight helps with that mindset too.

[Leenerbups]

Oh yes!

I'm not completely comfortable with a man's attention to me and it hurts me very much when women resent me for my looks. Now that I'm older, it's not as bad, but when I was younger and doing some modeling and acting, I actually had cashiers throw change at me or not speak to me, women saying catty things about me within earshot of me. I have actually left public places due to the attention of men being too much and the women not being kind.

Probably a reason I am fat is because I don't have a thick skin.

[PhotoNut]

*BUMP*


(DONT MIND ME. I'M JUST STIRRING UP SOME GOOD STUFF FROM THE OLD DAYS :wink2: )

[cathy]

Interesting thread - thanks for bumping P'nut!

I read this thread and realize I must be incredibly lucky! I have only had very positive, supportive comments from friends, family and coworkers.

I don't have a big family or lots of close friends - not enough time or energy or desire! But all of them have been very support.

And at work! My manager was so excited for me when I got approved for surgery, he almost cried! There are very few days that go by that at least one or more people don't tell me how great I look, how good I'm doing. It is nice to hear

I never thought about it much before - but there are not a lot of women in the area where I work. I've always been friends with males much more so than women, so I guess it never registered. I haven't had any cattiness from the ones that are there though - of course, it could just be cause they are scared of me! :)

And my husband - I always get a warm fuzzy when he comes up and hugs me and tells me that I am melting away! He will grab my arm and get this kind of stunned look on his face, kind of shake his head and say "You are getting so little". :)

So far as the male attention - well I don't know if there will be much of that at my age and if so, I'll probably be pretty oblivious to it. I do remember when I lost weight before and was thin - around 11 years ago! It was kind of fun! I'd be out on a date and 2-3 guys would be hitting on me. But now - I doubt I would even notice or that it would even register!

[Neal R.]

Thanks for the bump P'Nut
I have gotten nothing but good reaction (at least to my face :))

I don't know if I have ever been hit on per say, but I notice little things like women making and keeping ete contact. This never happened prior to my weight loss. Little things like the checkout girl smiling and making eye contact to girls at work saying I am hot now. (though they may be just sucking up to the boss! lol)

Nothing negative from other guys yet either.

Great subject :)

[MrsS]

I am definitely getting a lot more snuggles,etc. from my husband. He is naturally snuggly and huggy, but before I got to where I shied away from it. (Didn't want him to feel all those extra bumps and lumps, I guess.) Now, though, I love it when he puts his hands on my waist. It makes me feel more feminine. So I think the change isn't really him, but the vibe I put out. We are really having a romantic time right now. :inlove:

I have always had a lot of support at work. I mean my principal talked me into having surgery two weeks BEFORE school was out instead of waiting for Summer so that I could get it all started sooner. Now those of you who know how 1st graders behave the 2nd to last week of school KNOW that is amazing support! So, b/c of that and everyone being excited for me, people pay a lot of attention to how I look from day to day. It's hard sometimes feeling like everyone is sizing me up, but it's all positive!

Like Goanna, I seriously doubt I'll be getting any second glances from the young guys. I mean please....That ship has sailed! But second glances from my sweetie is all I ever want!!!!:wink2:

[kebsa]

I have had mainly positive stuff but have had some negative, bitchy stuff from 2 female "friends" who are now bigger than me since i have lsot weight- its like i have made life tougher for htem by lsoing weight, i guess no one wants to be the biggest person in a social circle- i try not to pay too much attnetion to this but is is annoying as they can take control of there lives too and lose weight, i never blamed anyoen else for me being over weight so kind of resent the bad attitidue from these 2, i am sure they just feel pressured to do as well if not better. I have had lots of positive comments that i have achieved a lot especially as i have the physical disabilities, i am assuming thies 2 feels that those same people think they are not putting enough effort into losing weight. its a pity because, this is no contest, we all want the smae thing, i thought! we all want to lsoe weight and get fitter- I am in awe of toerhs who have gotten to gaol weight, jelousy never even comes to mind for me so i find all this strnage- I have not noticed any change in male attention, i have used my weight to hide from male attention in the past and although thats no longer the case ( intentionally anyway)the physical disabilities probably has similar effects to being overweight-Relationships scare me because of previous bad experiences- i have accepted being alone and most of the time i kind of luike it but i do miss having someone special in my life to share stuff with ( both the good and the bad) i have good friends but do miss the deeper companionship

[Alicia521]

Good thread. I've had a little of both, but mainly good attention. I've been called Hot to my face for the first time ever. Men are more polite to me...they hold doors open, they make eye contact and smile. My friends and co-workers are supportive and offer lots of encouragement. Most of my family goes on and on about how good I look. I still haven't been hit on by a man, but I don't really go anywhere for that to happen and I'm okay with that. Sometimes it can be embarrassing for me because I have been realizing that I actually liked not getting the attention and liked not being looked at because I am still a little shy. Sometimes it is a little too much.

[pageturner]

This is a great thread. I'm just now starting to experience some of that attention. 22 lbs down people are starting to notice. One person said we'll you aren't doing this on your own, you had weight loss surgery afterall. I told her she knew nothing about obesity and what people stuggle with , and that now is a good time to remember that advice our mothers gave us; "if you can't say something nice, don't say anything at all.

Andrea

[Craig A]

Ladies,

Just walk my way and I will gladly throw a compliment. You all are looking really good from the pictures I see and from what you write are genuinely awsome people. I love the support that you offer each other I think you are going to be one of my greatest allies during my Journey. I hope to make some great friends. Only a few weeks until banding.

[Jachut]

Believe it or not, I've recently been attacked on a lapband forum for being too successful!

Jeez, I was seething. I can be extremely cutting. I've been very well behaved here, I've mellowed a lot as I got internet savvy and worked out how to interact on forums.

But I was told by some biatch that she "could tell you're a stay at home mother, you think your so bloody good, doing all that exercise, well why dont you try having a job and 2 kids liek the rest of the population and then see if you can be so bloody fantastic".

In actual fact I'm not a stay at home mother (and I didnt like her implications that stay at home mothering is all about having 12 hours a day to yourself either) I'm a full time university student with THREE children who is flat out busy. I make time becuase we have to to lose weight. I gave her a really good serving! It was the Jachut of old, who was FEARSOME. Stupid cow. I hate this particular forum becuase nobody wants to talk exercise, its just a really bad group, of peple who just want to go tighter and tighter and refuse to face the fact that puking up everything you eat is not the right way to go and that a bit of a chat and giggle round the block with your girliefriends on Saturday morning is all it takes to lose weight.

Anyway, I digress. I have to proudly admit that i'm getting younger male attention these days, being in contact with many fine specimens in their early 20's as I am at uni. Its a hard life, but someone has to do it. I have a faithfull Chinese lad who busts his butt to get into every group assignment with me, sit next to me in lectures and is in all my tutes, lol. He's a really funny guy, he's good company. Why he seeks me out I"ll never know, but I dont hang with the mature age students, I muck around in the back row, lol. He was a little crestfallen to find out I'm 40 in 2 weeks time, lol.

I just dont like the attention I get out running. I wish I could take my boobs off for running, they certainly seem to be eye catching. They're not that flipping good, jeez. But wolf whistles and beeps are really annoying, intimidating and embarrassing.

[Dr.A]

Believe it or not, I've recently been attacked on a lapband forum for being too successful!

Jeez, I was seething. I can be extremely cutting. I've been very well behaved here, I've mellowed a lot as I got internet savvy and worked out how to interact on forums.

But I was told by some biatch that she "could tell you're a stay at home mother, you think your so bloody good, doing all that exercise, well why dont you try having a job and 2 kids liek the rest of the population and then see if you can be so bloody fantastic".

In actual fact I'm not a stay at home mother (and I didnt like her implications that stay at home mothering is all about having 12 hours a day to yourself either) I'm a full time university student with THREE children who is flat out busy. I make time becuase we have to to lose weight. I gave her a really good serving! It was the Jachut of old, who was FEARSOME. Stupid cow. I hate this particular forum becuase nobody wants to talk exercise, its just a really bad group, of peple who just want to go tighter and tighter and refuse to face the fact that puking up everything you eat is not the right way to go and that a bit of a chat and giggle round the block with your girliefriends on Saturday morning is all it takes to lose weight.

Anyway, I digress. I have to proudly admit that i'm getting younger male attention these days, being in contact with many fine specimens in their early 20's as I am at uni. Its a hard life, but someone has to do it. I have a faithfull Chinese lad who busts his butt to get into every group assignment with me, sit next to me in lectures and is in all my tutes, lol. He's a really funny guy, he's good company. Why he seeks me out I"ll never know, but I dont hang with the mature age students, I muck around in the back row, lol. He was a little crestfallen to find out I'm 40 in 2 weeks time, lol.

I just dont like the attention I get out running. I wish I could take my boobs off for running, they certainly seem to be eye catching. They're not that flipping good, jeez. But wolf whistles and beeps are really annoying, intimidating and embarrassing.

Dear Jachut...sorry about the other board...I stopped going there because of a few people who are so rude! They are just miserable with themselves and take it out on anyone, especially anyone who is doing better or a re happier, etc. I think I might know who it is...she was terrible with me also.

We love you! and we are proud of you!!! :) So you can tell her....:neener:

[JDru]

You are fearsome Jacqui and that's why we love you here!! When I'm tired of working out I think, "What would Jacqui do?" :) You have worked so hard and have awesome results to show for it. You go girl!

["Just" Paul]

At a recent event I was attending, we had an evening bonfire... having some snacks and downing a few drinks...

During the course of the evening, an early 20-something friend of a friend was hiting on me BIG TIME throught the whole evening. I mean, this was an extremely attractive, and young woman...

Of course I loved the attention (wouldn't do anything, mind you)... but it was strange... I mean... I'm a 41 year-old fat guy (in my mind)... to have a young hottie keep trying to snuggle up to me all evening (and if I changed seats she'd follow) was strange and exciting at the same time.

I cannot really remember the last time a woman REALLY hit on me like that.

I dunno... maybe it was the beard, but I thought that made me look even older.

I guess at times I am still thinking of myself as the funny fat friend who sits in the back telling jokes, and directing the hot people to each other (she likes you, he likes you)... not being the one hit on. Thing is, there were a couple younger, better-looking single guys there who REALLY wanted to hit on her (and were), yet she kept coming after me.

[HeatherGurl]

At a recent event I was attending, we had an evening bonfire... having some snacks and downing a few drinks...

During the course of the evening, an early 20-something friend of a friend was hiting on me BIG TIME throught the whole evening. I mean, this was an extremely attractive, and young woman...

Of course I loved the attention (wouldn't do anything, mind you)... but it was strange... I mean... I'm a 41 year-old fat guy (in my mind)... to have a young hottie keep trying to snuggle up to me all evening (and if I changed seats she'd follow) was strange and exciting at the same time.

I cannot really remember the last time a woman REALLY hit on me like that.

I dunno... maybe it was the beard, but I thought that made me look even older.

I guess at times I am still thinking of myself as the funny fat friend who sits in the back telling jokes, and directing the hot people to each other (she likes you, he likes you)... not being the one hit on. Thing is, there were a couple younger, better-looking single guys there who REALLY wanted to hit on her (and were), yet she kept coming after me.
That is great Paul!!!
I still can't believe it when the hotties hit on me :) What a confidence booster!

[Pamla]

I'm only half way and it is happening to me. I try to take it in stride. What I can't stand is when some get the "big head". I'm praying it doesn't happen to me. I want to be a motivation and assistance to anyone who takes this life changing journey. I don't ever want to forget where I came from (if you catch my drift). Everyone has different weight loss goals. Mine may not be like yours, however, that doesn't make me any less of a conqueror than you.

Jacqui, keep doing what you are dong, and thanks for being real.

[EmileeKaye]

Positive: Lots of attention from family and friends saying I look amazing everytime they see me. Saying how hard I have worked to lose 130 pounds. Random guys at bars bying me drinks. Some of the best stuff...guys from high school who never gave me the time a day coming uptome in bars or at parties and saying how beautiful I am...over and over during the night, haha.

Negative: I have never had any girls say or do anything that I atleast know of, Im sure there might be talking behid my back. But my biggest negative was a family wedding. I had two drunk Uncles that I have always been close to make uncomfortable comments on how I looked and worst of all my drunk brother-in-law(whom Ive known for 10 years and has never made me uncomfortable) make comments and get a little too touchy feely as the night went on...made me literally sick to my stomach that night.

The only other "negative" comments I guess would be people saying I was starting to look sickly, but looking back, I kind ofwas, but it wasnt from losing too much. It was during a time I lost a lot too quickly and was being unhealthy. I was pale and had to go on a heart monitoring machine.