The lapband blues

[Lily]

I've been happy about my band...till now. Now I am thinking... "did I make a bad choice for myself?"

Lately, I've had a problem with something that I've eaten about once a day (still adjusting to this new fill.) Today I got sick twice from chicken. Both times, the food got severely stuck. After that ordeal today, I feel a little afraid of food.

I am down to 207...that's a big deal for me! It means that my hard work is paying off. Why am I not jumping for joy right now? I feel a little skinnier...why do I feel down?

I watched a program where a girl who had WLS had lost a ton of weight and was down to a good weight. She still felt like she was at her previous highest weight, and was still afraid to assert herself socially, still felt
ugly", etc. Has that happened to any of you? I wonder if it is happening to me a little.

I am also really afraid that, instead of my band making me full faster, it's just making everything hurt. I am not at full restriction. If things are getting stuck now, will it be worse after the next fill. After the food gets stuck and goes through, I can still eat more food and am not full after a few ounces.

Hmmm.. I guess I am having the lapband blues.

[Goannabanda]

Awww, Lil, that's too bad that you are feeling the blues. Hugs for you. :bigarmhug:

If you are getting stuck daily, have a chat with your doctor about it, they will know what is going on. As a minimum, I suggest that you go back to liquids then mushies for a few days, to let any swelling resolve, then slowly go back to solid food. Really watch how fast and how much you are eating, and see if you need to slow down more. I think that was where my problems started - I thought I was eating right as a bandster, but maybe not "right" enough. If that doesn't work, then maybe you are a tad too tight. As I said earlier, talk it over with your doctor - they will know what's going on.

Hope things get easier for you.

[mizfish]

hey Liliy,
your post caught my attention because I put a somewhat similar post up the other day. I too am feeling a bit depressed. But I think that I got my but kicked enough on the board that I feel somewhat back on track.
I also noticed that you got banded right after I did, I was banded on 2/20. So now I am wondering (moreso in my case) is it typical during this timeframe that the "high" of having the band and knowing that "yes we will lose weight somewhat quick at first" has worn off because we have realized the work involved and haven't acheived the results that we thought we would by this time? I don't know??
You should be very proud of your weight loss! I am proud of you. you have lost over 20 pounds! As for your fills, how many have you had? i have had 3 and have 1.50 in a 4 cc band. At times I wonder if it is too much because like you have said, i have had difficulty with steak and chicken, but not always. I noticed that I get sick when I forget to chew, put my fork down between bites, and somewhat refrain from talking so that I can concentrate on my chewing!!
I remember my nut. telling me that i might not be able to tolerate certain foods post surgery. I have barely found that to be true. I can eat most things as long as they are moist enough.
So have you made the right decision? Only you know the answer to that. I believe that you have. You are on the way to a smaller healthier you! just try to really remember to chew your food etc, etc, etc. Unfortunately, we can no longer gulp down our food and it takes us much longer to eat than the average person! People who are not aware of my surgery have wondered why is it taking me so long to eat or why I am not eating like I used to. Since it is none of their business, i don't explain! I just tell them to worry about yourself or that I am not feeling very hungry.
On nights that I get sick, i have gone for the forbidden "ice cream" to at least put something into my stomach. But since, I have noticed the scale not moving very much! only 3.5 pounds this month. It is time to stop buying it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
As of right now, because you got sick, you might want to take in liquids and mushies for the next day or two so that the irritation in your stomach can go down.
I hope that you are feeling better soon. Think just about today and worry about tomorrow, tomorrow!:flowerysmile::hug:

[Alicia521]

Hey Lily, chicken is a problem food for most bandsters. In order to eat chicken I have to moisten it with gravy or some condiment and cut it into tiny pieces. Steak is almost impossible for me now. It isn't uncommon to get bandster blues because at some point you will mourn the loss of food. However if you are getting stuck on a regular basis you need to evaluate the following? Are you eating too big of a bite? Are you taking your time and chewing well? Chew until it is goo. Are you drinking enough fluids before you start to eat? If you are doing those things properly you may be too tight and might need a slight unfill. It also might now hurt to do a day of liquids and a day of mushies to let some of the swelling and irritation go down. You shouldn't feel miserable though. If it is head misery because of the mourning of food, you could journal about it or talk to a counselor but if it is misery because you are not able to eat good nutritious food, you definitely need to call your doc! I hope you feel better soon!

[Lily]

I am really glad to hear that I am not the only one to have gone through something like this. I DO NOT want an unfill because it took me so dman long to get to a little restriction. I am just going to kiss tricky food goodbye for a while and stick to mushies and liquid...and the occasional solid. I feel like I really just need to ween myself into this.

Mizfish: You make a lot of good points. I guess the psychological aspect of all of this is up to me. I think that I just need to change the way I am thinking because the band is here to stay. I so grieve the loss of my friend, food, but at least I can rest assured that I will get a rockin' body and a healthy life out of this. Thanks for sharing your experiences and giving me some awesome words or wisdom!

GoAnna: I am going to give it maybe another week so I can be sure that I actually do have a problem before I call the doc. I am afraid that he will require me to get an unfill, and I don't think that I need to take such a drastic measure yet. Thanks for the advice! You're a good friend!

Alicia: I am glad that you told my that chicken is a problem for a lot of bandsters. I thought that I was supposed to get all protein down easily, so I am glad to know that I am not messed up. I try to use "band lube" aka dressing, mayo, ketchup, anything to moisten the dry foods that I eat. I am chewing well. Sometimes, I will forget and have a problem. It usually happens at my first bite because it's easy to forget. I def don't drink before I eat, I am afraid to. Afterwards, I have a lot of water though. I have been journalling about my band. If you are interested, it is at www.livejournal.com/~lapband_lil (http://www.livejournal.com/~lapband_lil). I haven't written in there in a bit though. I think I will update it, it might help these nasty blues. Thanks for the advice and words of wisdom!!!!

Thanks EVERYONE for chiming in. I love knowing that I am not alone and that these feelings are not feelings that only I am experiencing. I love the support here at b2g. You guys really cheered me up! Thanks again!!!

-Lily

[Alicia521]

hey Lily, one thing my nurse suggests, sip on something hot before about 15 minutes before you eat and thing chug a glass of water. If it moves down without problems your tummy is ready for you to eat. It helps me when I have super tight restriction.

[Idahobeauty]

Lily, glad to see you are hangin in there. Maybe if you log your food things will go easier and you can look back over your food log to take to your doctor next time you go and discuss it with him/her.

[Lily]

Alicia + Idaho: Both of those ideas are good. I keep mostly everything I eat logged on fitday.com (I love that site!) I think that I will also note what has given me a problem in the past and if the problems persist, I will go over it with the doc. I will also try sipping on something warm before eating. Even when I had yogurt today I could feel it sitting on my band (didn't hurt, but I felt it nonetheless.) I think that I really need to just get used to this. I feel like I am slowly losing my band virginity, lol!

[kebsa]

Lily, i note that you say you don't drink before your eat but you do drink a lot afterwards- how soon after wards?? you should avoid drinking a lot for about an hour post meals as it tends to wash food through too quickly. HAving a warm drink just before you eat definately does help to loosen things about a bit when you are a bit tight. the opposite also works for me too- if i feel really loose and have some really ice cold water before i eat, i get some temporary restriction.
As Goanna has already said, if i have had a problem and have had something get stuck, i go back to fluids for the next few hours then musshy for the next meal and only progress to normal foods if i manage those ok. getting someting stuck causes irriation and swelling and it seems some of us are more sensitive than others. I am definately better if i take things slower after i have gotten stuck. We do the smae thing post fills too, i go back to fluids for 24 to 48 hours then mushy for 48 hours then solids if ok after that. using this approach you can often avoid unfills. As for band blues, i tink what you are experiencing this really normal, its that point where it becomes more obvious that the band is not the end of the journey but the beginning! for the hoop jumping that one goes through to get approval, surgery date becomes an end point and goal that prospective bandsters focus on - and that is quite understandable, but it really is only the beginning of the real journey. in the first few weeks and months you often still have the slightlynore rapid loss to keep your spirits up but eventually it sinks in that this is not going to be a quick a trip as we would like! For me, it was also a time when i realised the true extent of my emotional eating. I recognized that i used food for comfort etc but i did not really understand the extent that is used food for non hunger reaons ( emotianl eating, comfort eating, social eating, boredom etc), they say that the band does not help deal with head hunger, i disagree! it may not fix it, but it was only once i had the band inplace and had some restriction, that irealized just how much i used food for social reasons etc. THe band has helped me work out the dfference between i want that last mouthful because i am still hungry or because i just really want it! so there are lots of changes that one goes through at this stage, i can undestand why you may feel a bit down- I have had the occasional thought and self doubt about whether the band was the right thing to do, especially when i started having all my swallowing problems- these days the only ting i regret really is not being more assertive with my surgeons when i started having problems, i should have pushed harder to find out why i was having problems instead of letting the surgeon convince me that i was a bad bandster who was not following the rule- i knew that iwas doing the best i could and eventually the ms was found to be the problem for me, i feel like i wasted almost 5 yrs by not being more assertive. You will get through this, Just try and remind yourself that not only is this major surgery that takes time to heal from, but it is surgery that makers permanent changes to issues and behaviour that a major focus on your day to day life- the badn makes you change your relationship with food permanently and that is a really big deal. We know that food is essential for life but I did not realise until after surgery what a major social focus food has- you cannot chage a life times woirth of thinking and acting in a few short weeks, it take time and you are still finding your feet at present

[NikkiPants]

Don't feel ugly.
You're hot.
Rawr.
:nod: