Help

[lindsay08/08]

Ok I was banded on Aug 8th 2007 I have to date lost about 20lbs I am happy. I am still on the post op diet you know liquid for two weeks then pured(sp) well anyway any time that I try an eat a meal which is not HALF of what i used to eat my mother mind you in over weight as well starts saying thats to much you shouldnt be eating that. Mind you she has not come to any meeting with the doctor to know what i can/cant/should/shouldnt be eatting. I also have started walking about 30-45mins a day. Yes I know i will need to start more excersie soon but for now docs orders is just the walking. An it doesnt help in the mean time that I happen to be passing Kidney stone.( Not fun let me tell you) But anyway enough about my rambling how do I tell my mother that were as I do want her support through all of this I DO NOT want her to think or try an tell me she knows everything. I have tried explaining that I have the infomation an would show her everyhting about so that she would have a better idea she says NO please help i dont want my mother daughter relatsioship (sp) to suffer because of this!

[SpookyJulz]

Lindsay~

You are still in the healing stage from the surgery. You have an open band so you have no restriction. You need to eat to help you heal.
Once you start getting fills then you will be eating less. Right now the liquid, puried foods are going right through your band.

I would just sit Mom down and say, I love you with all my heart and I do not want this surgery to affect our relationship but there are some things about it that you need to know. There are stages with banding and right now I am doing what the Dr has told me to do. (Then explain to her that you are on liquids with an open band). Once I start getting fills and have restriction (which may take a few times) then I will be eating less. I need you to understand how this works because you are my support system and I love you. I want you to be a part of this experience however, I want you to have to correct information so that I do not feel resentful towards you...

Anyway that gives you an idea of how to start the conversation. I would approach her calmly and lovingly.

[lindsay08/08]

Thanks for the help !!!

[brwneyedbeauty]

Julz, I totally agree. I couldnt of said it better!

Cheri

[WildAlaskaG'ma]

Julz recommendation was perfect. Hope that solves the problem. Sometimes when we choose to make huge changes in our lives, those around us who usually are supportive, have a difficult time dealing with the change. It's not about you. It's about them and their need to renegotiate in their own mind their place in your "new" life. The last time I was with my tiny little sister (who has covertly always been embarrassed about her obese sister) she was having a tough time dealing with the fact that she was eating more than I was. She did her best to convince me that my band is too tight because she couldn't get a handle on her own changed situation. If you find that Julz' recommendations do not solve the problem with your mom, then, you are dealing with a more complex situation. Keep us posted. I don't want to give youi more information than you want or need right now. Good luck !!!

Judy :)

[503-250]

I was going to try to help, but Julz is dead on.

All I can add is...CONGRATULATIONS BABY BANDER (walk walk walk sip sip sip)

[lindsay08/08]

Thanks for the help guys my mother an i still fight about what i am eating however i just make sure what i am doing is right an go on kind of agree to disagree on some things

[SpookyJulz]

Lindsay~

One of my favorite sayings is I agree to disagree!! If that is the best way for you to handle your mother then so be it. Reassure her that you love and appreciate her however she is not the Dr or Nutritionist.