I hate comments from an ignorant public

[U.P. Musky Hunter]

The past week or so has been the first real mental hurdle I have faced since being banded on April 30th. The pounds aren't moving, the appetite is becoming stronger again, and the motivation is waining.

I tried to start today with a good positive mental approach and was off to a pretty good start. Smart breakfast, lots of fluids and plans for a sensible lunch. Well, I stopped at my daughters tennis match on my way to pick up lunch. After watching for a while, I ran by a local restaurant and picked up some baked chicken and green beans.

I got back to work and parked my car. As I was walking to my office, I passed a few employees of the business next door and the comments began to fly... "Eating again, hey." Followed by... "Or should I say still?"

What's up with that stuff??? I have lost almost 60 pounds since April 1st and think I have changed a lot. They had no clue what was in the container and no right to question what I was doing.

Ignorant people really bug me.:yell:

[A1ikou]

Don't they just! But hey, you know how hard you're working at this and you can change things...ignorance and stupidity is their lot forever so you always win!

[Pamla]

Man, doesn't that ish* just tick you off? I hate to be watched. Some people should just shut their faces! You are a conqueror and don't let anyone tell you differently. I would say the mental part of our journey is the hardest. Ignoring ignorant people.

[lil'bitty]

What are they 12? What kind of adult makes comments like that? Sorry you experienced that. Keep your head up! 60lbs is an incredible accomplishment and don't let a bunch of idoits make you feel less! Congrats and keep thinking with the positive attitude.

[kebsa]

Sorry this happened to you, you are right that it really is awful that people put their mouths in gear so long before they engage their brains! I had a complete stranger ask me if i had a liscence for my electric wheelchair the other day, my response was not my usual polite one for a change, i asked him if he had aliscence for his legs at which he got very upset and acted really offended- i calmly pointed out that his commented may have been slighlty amusing the first time it was heard many years agaon butn ow it was just ignorant and insensitive- he was still really angry at my response. I know it may not seem as hurtful as your situation but disabilitiy issues are really personal and i am just no t sure what gives someone the right to deem it to be a joking subject to a complete stranger~ people seem to be oblivious to presonal boundries at times. Usually i have a good sense of humor and can deal with this kind of thing despite being annoyed on a personal level but this caught me on a sensitive day- eventually i was left feeling hurt adn resentful that this mans careless insensitive comment had led me to the situation where i had offended this man! the only think that would have pleased him was a polite laugh or comical response that i just was not in the mood for that day! ignorance will always exist i guess, my hope is that we can resist the urge to come down to the same ignorant level most of the time if not all of the time- AS for slow weightloss and waining moivation! just hang in there, you are at the time wher things can be a bit tough, we wnat quick response and even if we get it to begin with it slows down to a crawl- just go back to your basic rules- consider if or not you may be due for a fill- chances are that if you are not losing about a pound a week, and you feel hungry quickly after eating etc you may need an adjustment. If you are lsoing a pound a week then you are in the healthy weightloss area but just not a quick as we would like, that is tough~ it takes a lot of patience to get to surgery and that date becomes the end point in our minds when it is actaully just the start, the end point or an endpoint has been the foucs for so long that it can take a while to do the adjsut ments needed to come to grips with the fact that we did not get where we were overnight so we cannot realistically and safely expect to get better much quicker- insensitve commetns at this time do not help either- hang in there it will happen

[Will]

Sounds to me like they are jealous! Keep your head up and be a force to reckon with. Don't let their bullshit affect your success!!!!!!!!

:)

["Just" Paul]

My reply to them.


Yes I am.



Are you being a jacka$$ again? Or should I say STILL?

[cathy]

Are you for real??? Did they really say that?!??!

Ok - names and phone numbers. Let ME deal with the assholes.

[Neal R.]

You know what your doing is right and your going in the right direction. Don't let them get to you. I know thats easier said than done, but were here for ya. Hang in there.

[Idahobeauty]

Those are the same people who will be drooling when you meet your goal!!!!!

[SpookyJulz]

Hunter~
That is such a bunch of crap!!! Rude ignorant people make me crazy!!

You have done a fantastic job! You should be so proud of your success. We are all here for you to beat the crap out of them.

[U.P. Musky Hunter]

Let me clarify one little thing.

I'm certainly not in tears over the issue - I just can't stand ignorant people. Comments that are insensitive and rude come from breath not worth breathing. I just can't see why people feel the urge to belittle others.

I can certainly stand on my own and handle any comments I get. I am a strong willed, confident, successful business man. I have a spouse that I am proud to call mine and two kids I wouldn't trade the world for. I'd love to change the world and rid it of non-productive, hurtful comments, but being a realist, I know that won't happen.

This wasn't a "pity me" post. It was a "what's up with ignorant people" post.

[SpookyJulz]

Hunter~
I don't think anyone thought you were crying over the comments or that you needed any help taking on the jerks. We have all gotten those comments from some misinformed, uncaring, insecure soul who feels the need to belittle others in order to try to make themselves look better to someone.

I think you got the wrong idea. Like we are all gonna fly to Michigan to beat up the bullies in your office. We've all been there and the first thought is to "take em out." It's a figure of speech. Sorry if I missed the topic. On that note.

They are people who think they have to hurt others to feel better about themselves. They are ignorant and there is very little anyone can do about them.

[U.P. Musky Hunter]

Well said Julz

[Will]

I in now way took it as a "crying" post. I know you can hold your own!

[pageturner]

Sorry you experienced this. Next time feel free to respond with something like this "Are you usually so rude or is this a special occassion." Sometimes taking the high road is the best way to go. Or you could educate the person about how offensive this is.

Just my two cents...

Andrea

[DonHoll1]

I had some one ask me why i could not lose weight the right way. I ended up defending myself and i hate that. I wish i had just told her to kiss my big you know what. lol Donna

["Just" Paul]

There is this show on Discovery Heath channel. It is about the Brookside Obesity clinic. This is a hospital that helps the MASSIVELY obese... bedridden etc. I watched it a couple times, and really thought it was amazing.


Till last night's episode. This 500LB woman (had already lost 80 lbs). Wanted to spped up the "recovery of her life". She wanted gastric Bypass Surgery.

The announcer said she was "desparately trying for the quick fix" of bariatric surgery.





Quick fix.





*&^%%^@##$%%^*&!!!!!


Now, I almost reached through the TV on that one.

[Pamla]

Till last night's episode. This 500LB woman (had already lost 80 lbs). Wanted to spped up the "recovery of her life". She wanted gastric Bypass Surgery.

The announcer said she was "desparately trying for the quick fix" of bariatric surgery.

Quick fix.

*&^%%^@##$%%^*&!!!!!

Now, I almost reached through the TV on that one.
Paul I thought the same darn thing. WTH! How is this a quick fix for a morbidly obese woman weigh over 400 lbs. A.. holes, everyone owns one!

[007 - James Band]

You can't fix stupid. But I am surprised an "adult" would voice such crap to stranger. A family member maybe (ain't family members great?), but not a stranger. Maybe he was trying to be funny. Or maybe he's just mean.

[oktwigs]

Those kinds of comments are exactly why only one other person knows I've been lapbanding (my husband). I don't even mention being on a "diet" but just keep living my life the way I see fit and if people notice a change, great...if not, it's no skin off my nose.

Twigs

[SheryBery]

To quote Bill Engvall: "Here's yer sign":neener:

["Just" Paul]

I've had folks who don't know about the surgery come up to me... Man, you aren't fat anymore... what's your big secret?


"Stop eating..." and I walk away

[deans801]

Just keep saying "let the dog's bark my caravan is moving on". You have lost an incredible amount of weight and you will continue on with more. Head up and move on.

[U.P. Musky Hunter]

Funny part two of the story.

Today is my wedding anniversary. This morning, I met my wife at a nice coffee house for a cup of decaf. After coffee, I came back to the office and brought my staff a couple of the biggest, freshest, cinammon rolls you have ever seen. I walked right past the loud mouth from yesterday and just turned and smiled. I can only imagine what he was thinking. I was gone before he had the chance to open his mouth. Probably better for him anyway. I was ready to reply!!!! LOL

It's a GREAT day to be alive!

[Neal R.]

Great follow-up and happy anniversary!

[Belinda L]

Looks like you opened a can of worms. I think everyone of us has had to deal with this type ignorance. And they're never happy. If I don't eat they say "You've got to eat something" if I do eat they say "should you be eating that" -- Just leave me alone and let me worry about what I do or don't put in my mouth.

[Will]

Oh yay Happy Anniversary!!!

[Darkskie]

Sorry you had that happen to you. I however have had several occasions where I was asked by adults and children, "when is the baby due?" . . .

I have about .01 seconds to decide if I snap back, or stick out the belly a little further and say, 2 weeks. Can't wait til I get my band and can really start getting rid of the "baby".

[jazyie]

U.P. Musky Hunter,
How about this comment from one of my staff members? (Just a a little backgorund information: I have lost 67 pounds since February '07). She goes: "I know you had that surgery, when do you start to loose the weight?" I simply had to walk away because her ignorance was unreal to me! :heh:

[kebsa]

Jazyie! what an awful comment to face! I could live with someone asking me "hows the weightloss going?" but even that gets boring after a while. I have just changed jobs and staff will often do a food run to one of the local resterants to get take away, we also have laods of unhealthy snacks avaialble at cost price- i find myslef being offered less than healthy choices on a reglualr basis- i have resisted explaining that i am trying to lose weight and i have had band surgery, i am not keeping it a secret at such but i had foudn that it was getting a bit wearing being asked "how much have youlost this week" -its afine line between support and intrusion isn't it! I think it is much nicer to get the occasional comment about appearance etc than the constant check in assessments type questions

[503-250]

On multiple occasions I have ranted about the Discovery channels new decision to be the freak show channel. Tattoos, dwarves and the morbidly obese....they just need to add in children with birth defects like the dog boy or lobster boy and we are set.

Based on their show Brookhaven is the only hospital that has no success at helping people lose weight. All of their patients are morbidly obese, use cell phones to call for delivery food and then have some weird porno shoot style food eating session. I've never seen so many closeups of food being jammed into mouths, and it's all greasy. If they do have success, they are either "taking the easy way out" or they lose their insurance coverage...apparently insurance doesn't cover loss, only gains and cheaters.

Big Medicine shows success, but it shows only massive weight dumping. So, even though they have lapband patients, they only show them occasionally so we seem massive changes. The RNY patients are dumping weight so they focus on them. This will tie into my rant lower down after some other shows are discussed, stay tuned.

Fat March, let's make people walk 10 miles without any warning, then make them sleep on the cold wet ground and finally appear shocked when medical issues arise. I dare you to go to any normal office and pull 12 time cards randomly. Take that dozen random people and walk them outside and make them march 10 miles, sleep on the ground and make a massive dietary change. I'd bet a lot of money that we would see a bunch of people with medical issues.

Biggest Loser, I actually like this show, but the public only sees one side of this. Obese people could lose weight if they would just stop eating and exercise. The reality is, we all are aware of the fact that they stop their regular lives on live on the ranch being exercised and fed like lab animals. One of the women in my lapband group works in a gym where one of the contestants works out. They were loading up on stool softeners and diuretics and starving themselves to lose every ounce. They then weigh in a week before the show ends and go back to normal eating since their weight is already set for the last episode. At least this season they had people working out from home.

I could go on, but these shows are basically not that bad except the general public basically just sees that we are complete lazy fat asses who need to just put down the case of twinkies and walk for 10 mins and we would be bordering on anorexic. I think we can all agree we would lose weight if there was a million bucks on the line, but let's also remember that these people are living on a ranch with their meals made for them and nothing to do but exercise all day. I would love to see a new show, the after effects of the weight loss shows...but of course the general public would just see that fat people went back to sitting on their couches and eating twinkees and got fat again.

To sum up this long and wordy rant, the general public sees us as sloth like and assume we all spend most of our day choosing which shovel to use to cram more food into our mouths when the reality is most of us spend out time trying desperately to lose weight, limit our food intake and find a few minutes to exercise. If we choose to have surgery to help with this we have "taken the easy way out" or "cheated" and then if we don't lose weight in 50lb weekly intervals we're failing.

America is all about the happy meal, every movie, every TV show is about instant gratification. Fat March, Big Medicine, Biggest Loser and other shows can help display the happy meal of weight loss while at the same time using fat people as entertainment fodder. Take five minutes and search the web for discussions on these shows not in weight loss forums and the sad fact is most of the topic is mocking anyone who goes on these shows.

What we need to do is not watch these shows and stay on point, we need to follow our own path and not concern ourselves with any of this crap. Hugs to all of you that read this far, and kisses for anyone who agrees with me.

[SpookyJulz]

Hugs and kisses back to ya Bear. I read the entire rant and I agree with you completely!!!