My turn to step up to the confessional and confess my evil, evil sins!!

[DrewsLou]

My weightloss is at a stand still. In fact I GAINED right after my knee surgery. Yup... I packed on 14 pounds in a week!!! I blame it on Percoset. All I did was lay around and eat...constantly. I had the munchies and stayed in a drug haze for 6 days after my surgery. Not a good idea. Good news is that I have lost 8 of those pounds but that still puts me 6 pounds above my lowest. Dammit! Not being able to excercise is killing me. Sometimes I think I need a fill and other times I PB. I don't know what the answer is. My doc is in Africa until July so I can't call him (not that I probably would) I think once I can get back to skating I will be on the losing side again but I might go crazy in the meantime!!

The weight gain is totally my fault. I find myself with Dreyer's ice cream in my cart at the grocery store and somehow it sneaks into my freezer (haha) and into my belly! My new love is peanut M&M's. I was NEVER a candy junky before? WTF is going on with me?? I tell myself "It's okay, you deserve it... what's it gonna hurt?"

I am done with this. Why am I sabotoging myself? I got within 5 pounds of onderland and the shit hit the fan. I just don't get it.

HELP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[HeatherGurl]

We are all just a big ol' bunch of honest friends this week!

Don't buy that crap anymore girl! It is no good :) If it is in my house, it will get into my belly somehow also.

You did know that I gained 23 pounds in 2 weeks, right? I am working my ass off to try and get back down to my previous low weight of 170 without a fill.
You kick my butt into gear, and I will kick yours. It is going to be really hard on you since you can't exercise chica!
We are rootin for you!!!!!!!!!!!!

[Neal R.]

Boy, did it hit us all at once, or what? I have put food in my mouth the last several weeks that I would never have even considered while I was loosing. Those damned mind games we paly are hard to get over. Justifying things becomes so easy. Hang in there, once your back on your feet, you will do great things. You have already overcome a leaky port and done do great. You will again with this setback :)

[PhotoNut]

Time to stop feeling bad for ourselves and start kicking our own asses! I'm tellin' ya, those evil voices that tell us we 'deserve' to have the treats need to be faced with pure truth.

Ice cream and M&M's are NOT what we deserve! They are punishment disguised as a desirable taste, hidden deep in a false layer of comfort. The real truth is that those things are nothing but processed junk that the junk food industry knows we get addicted to. I swear they are as evil as the tobacco and alcohol industries!

We need to start yelling back, louder than the voices of lies! Shout out the truth - I do NOT deserve to be fat! I do NOT deserve to be discouraged and disappointed because I've gained back weight that I worked so hard to lose! I do NOT deserve to be sick with diabetes, hypertension, and the host of other ailments that come with obesity!

I do deserve to treat myself to a big healthy salad filled with crisp fresh veggies. I do deserve that awesome feeling of euphoria that comes after a great workout! I do deserve to be fit enough to persue my dreams and enjoy my life! I deserve so much more than candy, pies, cakes, breads, pizza, cokes, or ice cream will do to me! I deserve to be honest with myself, and therefore, NO! I refuse to believe the lies.

Remember, just because we think something it doesn't mean we ARE our thoughts. We are still in control and do not have to pander to those thoughts. Be tough. Be determined. Be happy. Be YOU!

:)

[KaraB]

Wow! This thread came up right on time. I have been banded since April 3nd, am at that limbo stage, no gain, no loss. Just had my second fill today and at almost an entire bag of peanut butter M&M's, why because I told myself I needed them because work is really stressin' me out! Now I feel guilty as hell. My life prior to the band was one of excuses and not a lot of hope. I thought I had moved passed it. P'Nut I love your post! I will read it daily to affirm that I do deserve this and to be healthy and happy!
I feel so much better getting this out! I will kick my own ars and anyone who needs a good kick too! Let's get back on track!
Kara

[Will]

I swear Susan, you make me wanna make a picket sign saying NO MORE FAT! hahahaha. You are very motivating! :)

And on another note. omg. I love peanut M&M's. *shifty eyes*

[CaribnQn]

I think that everyone has been struggling lately- must be that time of year or something. I know that you say that you've gaine weight, but when I look at the last pics, you look so cute. What I really want to say is YOU DON'T LOOK LIKE YOU WEIGH ANYWHERE NEAR 204LBS! The plus side is that you're losing again, and that's all that matters.

[PhotoNut]

hahaha! Will, you goober. (pun intended)

[TracyinKS]

thanks for this tonight! I went surfing for some support....

[DrewsLou]

I think that everyone has been struggling lately- must be that time of year or something. I know that you say that you've gaine weight, but when I look at the last pics, you look so cute. What I really want to say is YOU DON'T LOOK LIKE YOU WEIGH ANYWHERE NEAR 204LBS! The plus side is that you're losing again, and that's all that matters.

Thanks for your kind words. I used to hear the old "you carry your weight so well!" comment alllllllllllll the time! I'm sick and tired of being the fat girl... and of being sick and tired!

Susan...you mean more to me than you will ever know. Your post the other day gave me the courage to face myself in the mirror today. Fat will not defeat me anymore. The food demons be damned!!

I am SO grateful for you and Dawg for creating a safe place for me to come and bare my soul and not be afraid to do it.I need you all so much, right now more than ever. I knew I could count on your support and wisdom.

B2G rawks my flip-flops!!!

[PhotoNut]

Ok, I'm sitting here with a huge smile on my face, tears in my eyes, and a big hug for our roller derby queen! Love you too girl. You're doing an awesome job. Don't ever doubt it!

[Vickie1177]

I need a real kick in the ass
Although I am pregnant I am eating everything and I gained 7 pounds in 1 week. I need to STOP

[JDru]

Ok...tears in my eyes! I have been strugling a lot lately too and feeling very alone and ashamed. I am so glad we have each other for support and encouragement.

P'Nut I loved your post about how we don't deserve to be fat. I swear that some of my problem is that I won't allow myself to let go of bad habits on purpose. For some reason...I subconsciously feel the need to eat 500 calories worth of candy a day. I don't want to let go of the security that being fat gives me, even though most days it makes me feel miserable. I really need to re-focus and tell myself that I do derserve to lose weight and be healthy...that my needs are important.

Amy I hope you are feeling better. You kick ass!! :)

[DrewsLou]

My confession makes me feel lighter already! I had a pretty good weekend. Friday, Saturday and Sunday i made it through with NO peanut M&M's. Saturday we did a ton of walking and I ate much better, chips and guac for lunch (very small amount of chips!), had some ham and cheese for a dinner and a small bowl of cereal. Sunday I had half a slice of pizza, and french onion soup. I know those weren't the BEST choices, but much better than what I had been making. I also threw a protein shake in there each day.

I started my TOM on Friday and have noticed a big difference in my restriction. It doesn't take much to fill me up these days. I love it!!

[Alicia521]

I think we are all having these same problems. I know I was. I have vowed to stop buying ice cream for my house. We are only allowed to treat ourselves to ice cream at like DQ or something so it is actually a treat and not a nightly thing - because that is what it had become for me. Hang in there girl!

[Neal R.]

Sounds like your headed back on track :)

[Chisaimama]

I just went through knee replacement surgery two weeks ago. I don't know what skind of work you had on your knee but man my physical therapy exercises are hard work. It takes me about an hour and a halfa day to get through two complete sets of excercises. I wouldn't have believed how much work it takes to just lift my leg up 15 times. My head says lift and my leg doesn't always move. I also have a set of those bicycle pedals where you sit in a chair and pedal. i set it up on a table and I peddle with my arms. I am also fighting the head thing but since I can't drive and can't get to the store I don't have it in my house. I went into surgery having lost exactly 100 pounds and came out ten pounds heavier. I'm sure some of the gain is swelling in my right leg it's huge and I know have quite a bit of metal in that leg. I finally got my scales going in the right direction again yesterday. P'nut's right we deserve the best . Hang in there YOU WILL SUCCEED. You will be back in onederland before you know it. Have a great day.:rockon:

[DrewsLou]

I actually saw a smaller number on the scale this morning!

This weekend is going to be tough for me. Most of my calories will be of the liquid variety if you know what I mean. We are having a big bday party for me on Saturday... derby girls will be mixing with my "regular" friends for the first time. Debauchery will ensue I am sure!

[Neal R.]

Good news on the scales this morning! Hope you have a great weekend. If you remember any of it Monday, you will have to fill us in! :)

[Kimberly72]

I was banded on March 29th, so I a just a few days ahead of you Kara. I have only lost 20 pounds. I am so bummed. I lost 11 pounds the first week. I had lost the rest by 7 weeks. Since then, I have lost ZIP. I keep watching the scales to see if I am losing 2-3 pounds a week, but nothing is happening. I haven't eaten exactly like I should lately. I don't drink anything with caffiene, no carbonated drinks,and I do not drink through straws to avoid the extra air. I watch my labels closely, but I haven't been as careful with my meals. I feel like I am holding more food than I should be...and frequently it is hard for me to eat the right stuff. My lunch is catered daily at work, and I never know what we will get for lunch. Sometimes it is healthy, but often not.
I had a fill at 7 weeks... and I was good for a few days. I have another one in a few weeks. I sure hope it works.
I hope things will be better for you. I know how hard it is to pass up M&Ms.
I wish you the best. Keep your fingers crossed for ME!