Mad, sad, I don't know what to think

[Greeneyetiger]

Ok, I am working so gosh darn hard at this. Last week I lost 5 lbs. That was great. I felt so good. Then this week I upped my exercise time. Now I gained 2 lbs back as of this morning. Ok, I know about the muscle weighing more than fat, but when will the scale finally move, in the direction I want?

Ok, now my bf says to me last night. I can really see you are losing weight. Ok, so I am thinking I am losing inches, I have to buy a measuring tape today so in the future I can keep track of this. I felt so good about his compliment. I just don't understand how I can be losing inches, working out, eating right and me not lose any weight and then on top of it gain 2 lbs back that I lost last week. Maybe it is water retention, I don't know, but this is going on so long with not losing any weight.

Now that I am done venting let see if my body will make a fool of me and lose some weight in the next few days...yea right:heh:

Yesterday, I wasn't hungry. I had to make myself eat. I had a protein shake for breakfast, lima beans for lunch...I know weird, but I didn't want to eat meat...I am getting tired of it, for dinner I had about 5 oz of chicken breast and that was it. I drank water all day and went for a 30 minute walk yesterday evening. I was soooo depressed yesterday and crying but I pushed myself to get my exercise in. I was so proud of myself and still am but I felt so defeated when I got on the scale this morning and seen I gained 2 lbs instead of losing at least 1.

I don't know what to do anymore. I really truely don't. I know this really has me on an emotional rollercoaster ride.

Thanks for reading my pity party.

Tina

[503-250]

It's hard in the beginning, we need to get into a new pattern, new lifestyle...it's not an easy road.

BUT....you have to make sure you eat your protein EVERY day. Your body is a stupid machine...it really is...but it has some great safety mechanisms to keep us from dying when we screw up.
For example:
Your body takes all the food you eat and converts it into energy, it stores the extra as fat just in case something goes wrong. Probably a leftover mechanism from our early ancestors who would not be able to hunt when it was freezing cold. So, they would bulk up with food before winter, and live on their winter stores.
Now, here comes the stupid part. When your body thinks you aren't eating enough food, it goes into the same mode. It stores fat and eats your muscle tissue...your body is concerned there won't be any food left and like winter it will need to exist on fat stores.

So, check your protein numbers, check your calories...and make sure you are getting enough water in your system.

[cathy]

Yup - - bodies are fickle things it seems. You would think if you ate so little and exercised, at the very least, your weight would be the same - - - and hopefully would even go down, not up! But it just doesn't work that way!

The other day, I had a really bad day eating wise. I nibbled and snacked all day.....and even those 100-calories snack packs are bad if you eat 6 of them! Well next morning, I'm dreading those scales - - - only to have gone DOWN 2 lbs!

I try not to get too caught up in the number on the scale each morning - - - as long as the trend is downward! In the past, I would weigh every day and write it down. Then I would average the weight for the week and only compare the week-to-week averages. It helps even out things, shows the trend, and even helped motivate me to do better cause I still had a chance to get the week average down!

Good luck - - and just keep doing the right things!

[JDru]

Tina I'm sorry you are struggling. I know how hard it can be to see the scale move up when you're working so hard. But your weight isn't the only number to go by. Your BF is noticing...so that means you're losing inches! :) Are your clothes fitting better? Do you feel better?

As far as eating, I don't think you're eating enough calories. Like Bear said, it's important to keep up your protein, but it's also important to be balanced. Maybe add in some fruit, nuts and salads. I have to keep my meus interesting or I get bored and then revert back to bad, easy carbs. If you're not hungry enough to eat a whole meal, keep easy snacks handy like string cheese, yogurt, almonds, applesauce.

You can do this!! You have been doing great the past couple of weeks...just have to get your head back in the game. :)

[A1ikou]

Throw that scale away woman! I know its not easy, I have sooooo been there, but 5lbs last week was awesome and even adding the 2 back thats a 3lbs loss. Some folk are happy with that in a month or more. It's a balance thing, you have to try not to go by day to day and see the trend. If you are doing all the right things, it will work. It just wont work when and how you want it to...never does. I could go for weeks either gaining or staying the same and then drop 6-8lbs for absolutely no fathemable reason????
Just believe what in what you are doing and what your boyfriend and others tell you and dont let some stupid numbers on an unreliable machine make your mood for the day.
Finally, try and remember you're a woman! Our weight fluctuates more than the fellas on a regular basis. Hormones, time of month, water retention all play a part and 2lbs can be lost and gained in the same day without the blink of an eye.
Try and stay positive and keep focused on the main goal...why did you get the band and where do you want to be finally and erm, did I mention throwing the scale away???????????????????????

[Greeneyetiger]

Thank you so much 503, Cathy, Jessica, and A1ikou...You all are wonderful people.

I just got a measuring tape today and I am going to measure myself and go more by that then that darn scale.

I had the best compliment today. I was told I look 11 years younger than I am. I was also told by my sister and my daughter that I look like I have lost a good deal of weight. They can really see it. So between my bf last night and my dd and sister today I believe that things are more positive and this band is working. That I am ok.

Why do I get so upset? I guess part of it is I am scared I will fail at this too like every other attempt to lose weight. I am really thinking about practicing meditation, doing yoga or something. I need to calm down with all this. One day I am good and all of a sudden I am down on myself and feeling like this is never going to work. Well, it is working and I need to keep reminding myself of that. I did the lapband for slow weight loss and it was a healthier way for me. I need to remember that.

I am so grateful for you all. I have made some really great friends here. Thanks so much for the help and kicking my butt out of the negative.

Tina

[kebsa]

TIna, I am gald you have had some positive feedback- for somereason it is easier to believe the positive stuff when it comes form others than when we try to give oursleve some positive feedback.
AS the others have said, try not to get too caught up in the number on the scale- it canbe soul destroying and it will go up and down every day of your life, at bvest we should be looking for a down ward trend. I have been doing a monthly photo ( front on and laterla view) taken in the same position each time so I can do a side by side eval, i also have been doing at least monthly body measures. Even when I was weigh daily I tried to focus on a weekly wt eg sunday am is my officail weigh day- A weight gain is only a weight gain if it is present for a couple of days otherwise it is jsut a fluctuation that is likely to be retrained fluid etc.
as for the fear of failure- i can realte to that in a big way and I am sure many of the others can too. Becareful of self fulfilling prohecy- you can actually talk yourself into failure, its a common way to self sabotage. Trying to learn relaxation techniques and yoga will help- yoga is a great way to try to improve the mind body connection but I would like to suggest that you may need to learn to challenge you negative thinking ( at least you recognize that you do it at times, even that takes work!) Psycholgosist and counsellors can teach you great skills to learn new ways to think but one of the techniques I was taught was a series of very simple questions you can ask yourself about the siutaion
1.is your current internal dialogue(self talk) really true? eg are you really doomed to fail
2. does this internal dialogue serve your best interest?
3. Does thinking this way advance and protect your health?
4 Is thinking this way helping you achieve your weightloss goals
5Is thinking like this really in your best interest?

it is amazing how much easier it can be to see the flaws in our self thinking by asking these kinds of questions- for me number 5 is the clincher, whether what you are thinking is tru or not, is thinking this way in your best interest.

even from going through your emails, i can see so many positives changes that you have made and reported to us- far more positives than negatives and yet for you at the moment it is far easier to see the increase in numbers on the scale on one day- its like a part of you si really waiting for the slightest reason to say "i told me so"- i am not trying to be unkind here, just pointing out what I tink i can see and that is mainly because I have done it to myself in the past too. it actually takes practice and quite a bit of hard work to be able to see the positives that we achieve, maybe because we a brought up that we don't brag- but at the moment, thats waht you need to do- take every little victory you have and revel in it, so that you can gradully see that it is 9 steps forward and maybe once in a while 1 step backwards- that keeps our faults in better perspective. It does get easier and the thing to remeber about self fulfilling prohecy is that it is a 2 way deal eg if you believe you will fail, you will but if you believe you will succeed, chances are really good that you will succeed.
It can look daunting to see how far you have to go, for me I have broken it into smaller chunks that are more do able- its less scarey and gives me lots of chances to practice patting myself on the back for my mini victory. but when I look at what I have lost it is all one big and getting bigger chunk. learn to see things in the best possible view for you- that might seem like cheating but I do not think it is- its in you best intersts in terms of your health.

you can do this, tina, you may have small slips and set backs but you will not fail unless you let yourself fail. thistakes effort and practice but you can be successful. You are important enough that you are worth the effort that it takes to succeed. we may not get down to the perfcet weight or body size but any improvement has to be better than none- then it becomes a case of " awok in progress"- there are no time lines here, no one saying that you have to do this in so many months or thats it- i'd be done for if that is the case. remember I am the failure who gained weight with the band, in fact i gained over 100pounds over a 5 year period- that has all changed and I am no different to you TIna, if I can turn such a dismal performance into a modest but growing success, then you can too- and you have not even failed, you will only fail if you talk yourslf into it like i did- jsut think , you can get a 5 yr head start on me my turning your thinking around now- i waited unitl my health was really jepodized to getinto gear- you do not need to do this, if I have any regrets at tall in the banding story, it is listening to my own negative stuff and wasting the past 5 to 6 yrs

if there is anything at all i can say or do to help make this any easier for you Tina, let me know, feel free to PM me if needed- weekends I am slower to repsond as I am at work and cannot check the boards as much but I will always get back to you. You remind me of me and i do not want you to have to go through the additonal years of crap before you start to feel better about yourslef and have faith in your own abilities

lots of love

[Greeneyetiger]

Karen,

You are sooo right. I am so used to not succeeding at this weight loss and keeping it off that I may be looking for " I told me so" signs, saying I failed again. But I promise this is changing as we speak/type. I am not going to keep doing this to myself. I didn't get this obese over night and it will NOT come off over night. This is a new life style not another diet. If it takes me 2 years to get to my goal or at least close to it then it does.

I am eating better, drinking more water and exercising more than I did before surgery and that is a big deal. I am proud of myself for these things and need to keep being proud. I am not eating junk food everyday like I used to. I will not deprive myself all the time (everything in moderation)but I am doing good with the food so far and I need to be proud of that because food has been my way of coping for a long long time. To say no to the junk food 90% of the time is a biggy.

It is true getting positive feedback from others means so much and I can't tell you how much it means to me you taking the time to write me and help me see I can do this and to not keep setting myself up for failure in my negative thinking. From here on out I will do alot more positive self talk.

Thank you so much !!!!!:thankyoub:

Tina

[kebsa]

everytime you start doubting yourself and feeling down, please come back and read your last post- that is the real you!