I sobbed yesterday at the grocery store

[Sxychelle2]

Yesterday was my fist day out since being banded 3 days prior. Our plan was to head to walmart to purchase a digital scale. As we were enroute, my husband pulls into the parking lot of this grocery store we always talked about going to. It's called Wegmans, it is new to my area and apparently has a tremendous selection of items. I was apprehensive about going in, but I didn't want to make my family feel as if their lives had to change because I got banded, so I went in. I lasted no more than 7 minutes, was so stressed out and began to tear up in the middle of the store! I told my husband to continue shopping, but I was going to need to step out of the store. My 12 and 13 yo daughters left the store right behind me. As soon as I walked out of the door, I began to sob uncontrollably! My girls asked what was wrong, and I told them I was just sad because I would never be able to eat all of that good food in there again! My 13 yo said, " but mommy, think of how worth it it will be!" which stopped my crying. I have been crying a lot...I even cried last night watching extreme makeover weight loss edition. This has to be normal, but for how long?

[Rini]

Michelle don't worry! You are more normal than you think. Everyone goes through a period of mourning the loss of food! Everyone experiences it different times and intensities but they experience it nonetheless. Your daughter gave you great advice! It will be worth it! As you begin to lose weight you will see that and hopefully begin to eat to live not live to eat. Food is a comfort for many of us in difficult and emotional times and the inability not to eat those foods that gave us so much comfort can be difficult. You will get through it though I am positive of that! If you look through the thread you will find many words of comfort adn encouragement and i urge you to post all your questions and fears. You will do great and it will be sooooooo worth it! Take it from me...i went from a size 22 to an 8/10 and I can tell you that no amount of food can replace the feeling that i get when i step into a dress or a pair of jeans and look at my self and feel fantastic! BIG HUGS!!!!!!!!

[Mrs Sabre]

I ditto what Rini said above. I want to add that as you lose weight, you may also experience temporary extreme hormonal fluctuations that may add to your emotional state. All of this is normal, and temporary. Once you heal, you will gradually be able to eat real food again. Hang in there; it is really worth it!

[Sxychelle2]

Thank you ladies for making me feel normal....it made me cry LOLOL.!!! I tried to explain to my husband this morning that we went to early... His response was.." we always went to places with new foods together". He, too, is going thru an emotional change with my banding..I feel like I have let him down by changing the things that we used to do.. Our "big date" time would be a trip to the grocery store or to sam's club. He loves to cook, and does almost 100% of the cooking in our house... He weighs 170 though...huge difference!!! I will have to work on him communicating his emotions through this life change...men can just be so hard to get through to!

[Mrs Sabre]

Beyond getting him to communicate, it may help to find other ways to spend time together? ... i.e. go for a long walk around the mall instead of a grocery store? :noidea:

[Sxychelle2]

I am sure our time together will change.. for so many years he would ask me if I wanted to go for a walk and I would tell him I was too tired..so I am sure, as I heal from the surgery, we will be more active together..I really want to get a bike as soon as my butt gets small enough to fit on the seat!!!!

[Serenity55]

The first couple of weeks after I was banded I cried for no reason, or so it seemed. I know I was grieving the loss of my best friend, but I also heard that there could be some residual effects of the anesthesia, which might cause some weepiness.

You will get through this, and you may find that you can still eat somethings you loved--in smaller portions, yes, but you may enjoy them all the more. And as Rini said, there's nothing like finding out you can wear smaller sizes. :hug:

Debbie

[art]

I fretted about the same things. I was never going to be able to eat the good stuff again. Boy was I wrong. I have found that I can eat anything (except a few things that don't go down well) as long as it's in moderation. My head is still fighting my stomach but I'm convinced the stomach will win since it has a band now. If I eat a small portion and then wait a few minutes the urge to eat more of that "forbidden" thing goes away entirely. If I can just get a small amount of a food in my new stomach the urge to eat more isn't there anymore. What a powerful tool if I can learn to use it right. Food will no longer control me as it has in the past. I will control it. You will too, I promise. Hang in there and the whole thing will come together soon.
Art

[MoOrLess]

I agree with everyone else, wise folks and great posts full of good info and encouragement. It WILL disappear, and yes you'll find your relationship with your hubby does change - but for the better, as it means YOU will be healthier :)

Getting a bike is a great idea down the road - you and your whole family can go on bike rides/picnics together. You will be an experienced bandster by then and will know what to pack that works for you when it comes to a meal. Always carry lots of water and a food you know works no matter how tight you are at any given time. I can eat "most" foods in year 4 (not always a good thing lol) so don't worry too much about food. It IS the hormones and anesthesia doing this to you right now :)

[Patrick]

Being banded for quite awhile, almost 4 years, I can let you know that things will settle down. My DW and self are both banded and OH BOY, being from NY, can we ever relate to your struggles in Wegmans. What a supermarket!!! However, we can now, when we go north to visit children, shop there very comfortably. We have learned how to manage portions and still be able to enjoy small quantities of things we really enjoy. Bandster life is not about not eating, it is rather learning to eat sensibly and stop as soon as you begin to feel full. Push that plate away, no matter what is left on it. After you have learned how to do that, you are going to LOVE Wegmans. They really do have plenty of band friendly food in there, once you get used to walking away from bulk purchase.

[lemonzlime]

Thanks for making me CRY :neener: I know right where you are at. Just posted about my divorce with food. I'm going to miss it but I think the end results are going to be way better then how I treated food before. I'm working on loving myself more then I loved my favorite foods, its a long road but I'm gonna do it!

[Sxychelle2]

I am sure someday wegmans will not cause a full blown breakdown...can't wait for the day that I am an experienced bander and have CONTROL of the food and not the food (or lack there of during my current stage of banded life) control me!

[MoOrLess]

I am sure someday wegmans will not cause a full blown breakdown...can't wait for the day that I am an experienced bander and have CONTROL of the food and not the food (or lack there of during my current stage of banded life) control me!

ah yes...even in year 4 banded I find that quite a challenge...it's just one of those things I guess we struggle with on some level forever...at least mentally