Why, helllloooo....

[Shellster]

Well, I've done the intro thing on the NC forum, but thought maybe I should formally do it here. I'm Shelley: 36 years old - married - mother of 4-year old Alex I have a full time job in banking....or what I like to refer to as how I pass my time until I win the lottery.

I feel like I've formally started my band journey this week. Before now, I was just stalking around the site in stealth mode:spy:...soaking up all of the group's tidbits and info, but I've started posting and stuff now, so no better time than the present! I attended the lap band seminar on Monday night (Dr. Voellinger/South East Bariatrics, Charlotte - NC). I've got some appointments lined up for that good ole' pre-op stuff. (nutritionist -
psychologist/fitness evals) I feel like I'm making some progress.
:humble:Go me...it's my birthday - well, actually my birthday's in October, but you get the idea.


I have my formative fat memories that I won't bore you all with - well, maybe one. My very favorite is shopping with my grandmother in an upscale department store. I never knew the word 'husky' could echo like that...believe me - something you never forget. I've had issues with weight for 30 years. I don't know that I ever remember not having some stigma around my size. I've tried every diet. Nothing has worked long term for me...I need something to help me with portion control. I think the band is going to be that something.

Anyways...somethings you should know about me...I see humor in almost everything and I don't take myself too seriously.

Hopefully, I'll be banded by early next year. Everyone cross your fingers! :Dancing_laugh:

[Tricia K.]

*waves to Shellster* :wave: Welcome to B2G!

[shackdog]

hellooooooooooooooooo

[Stitchy]

Wellcome, Shellster. Glad to meet you:nod:

[JDru]

Welcome Shellster!! I already enjoy your sense of humor. :)

[503-250]

How you doin?


I'm always glad to meet someone else who sees humor in everything, the only downside is there are a lot of serious people in the world who clearly have no sense of humor.

Recently I flew to St Maarten, when we got on the plane the lovely stewardess (Bob) asked me if I was comfortable. I'm 6'3" and 430 or so lbs, how in the hell am I ever going to be comfortable in a baby seat, I take that back, baby seats have more leg room. My kneecaps we so imbedded in the seat in front of me the poor guy must have thought he had tennis balls in his back pocket. As if this isn't enough torture, Bob then asked me if I felt comfortable being near the emergency exit as I would have to instruct others on the safe way to exit the plane in an emergency. I asked Bob if I could lead by example...he looked confused so I said, "i'll rip the door open and jump into the slide and scream follow me if you don't want to die". Appearently that doesn't work up to airline standards, he explained I would need to help each person on the plane exit before I myself exited. I asked how much the job pays. Bob looked even more confused at this point, so I asked him if I was also expected to serve food and drinks, or clean the toilet before the end of the flight. It was at this point that my wife asked for a blanket and pillow, to insure she would get it quicker she told Bob she would be using it to gag me. He stole the pillow and blanket from the couple in front of us. That Bob...what a nice guy!

[JudyBellyBand]

Oh Shelley, you are going to enjoy having a band. Its hard work but compared to caring for Alex, I know you are up for it. I am sure you are. The NC gang are wonderful and will cheer you on. It takes a community of supporters to learn from. Well, just enjoy your Christmas but remember that you need to pack for the New Year. Because Shelley you are on your way to bandland .... shortly. Looking forward to meeting you in December at the NC get-together.
Always, Judy


PS: 503-250 you are a scream . . . I love to read eveything you write.

[tattooedsuess]

Welcome to B2G! You remind me of myself in that I too have been overweight most of my life. I honestly don't know what I'll look like in a size 18 or below. The smallest I ever was in my adult (age 19) years was a 20W. So it'll be an interesting adventure.

Best of luck to you! I hope that you are in bandland before you know it!

[Shellster]

I feel like I know you all already because I've been reading your posts for weeks. I can't wait to become an official bandster! I hardly ever take photos, but I'll have to drudge a few up so folks can put a name with a face.

Tricia/Shack/JDru/Stitchy...thanks for the warm welcome!

503 - you should have shown Bob some new fingers for how to illustrate "exits are located here and here" - that was ugly...I know. I had to go to India in April (for work - offshoring sucks) try flying for 16 hours in a baby seat! It took me 2 months to get the Continental logo off my butt cheek.

Judy - Unless, something crazy happens...I should be at the December NC get together!

Tattoo - I know what you mean...I remember a faint size 12 and I think I was 15 or something. If...no, when I get to a 12 again I'm gonna be dangerous!

:wave:

["Just Jess"]

:welcome: "Whoop Whoop!" hehehe Welcome, Shellster!
I already love your humor and feel we could be great friends!!!!

Good luck as you begin your journey! I am so happy I found this place as well! I have learned so much and have been inspired more times than I can count (AND I'M NEW!!!!)

So, congrats on making this decision! Good for you! Good luck! :clap2:

Jess


PS: To 503 - Loved your story and COMPLETELY understand. We only fly Delta (who I am sure have the SMALLEST seatbelts EVER) and although I've never had a flight attendant who couldn't take a joke - I HATE HATE HATE that whole "baby seat" feeling!!! So I empathise!


How you doin?


I'm always glad to meet someone else who sees humor in everything, the only downside is there are a lot of serious people in the world who clearly have no sense of humor.

Recently I flew to St Maarten, when we got on the plane the lovely stewardess (Bob) asked me if I was comfortable. I'm 6'3" and 430 or so lbs, how in the hell am I ever going to be comfortable in a baby seat, I take that back, baby seats have more leg room. My kneecaps we so imbedded in the seat in front of me the poor guy must have thought he had tennis balls in his back pocket. As if this isn't enough torture, Bob then asked me if I felt comfortable being near the emergency exit as I would have to instruct others on the safe way to exit the plane in an emergency. I asked Bob if I could lead by example...he looked confused so I said, "i'll rip the door open and jump into the slide and scream follow me if you don't want to die". Appearently that doesn't work up to airline standards, he explained I would need to help each person on the plane exit before I myself exited. I asked how much the job pays. Bob looked even more confused at this point, so I asked him if I was also expected to serve food and drinks, or clean the toilet before the end of the flight. It was at this point that my wife asked for a blanket and pillow, to insure she would get it quicker she told Bob she would be using it to gag me. He stole the pillow and blanket from the couple in front of us. That Bob...what a nice guy!

[tattooedsuess]

I agree that Delta must have the smallest seats. At 265 I JUST and I do mean JUST fit in their seat belts without having to have an extender. That was in June, and that was my Guatemala trip.

On the way home I was lucky (sense the sarcasm in my "voice") enough to have the exit seat, and endured extreme embarrassment when my "special" in the armrest lunch tray wouldn't fit over my big belly. I sat there and ate in embarrassement while my traveling companion didn't say much, probably out of embarrassment for me.

That day I vowed to never fly again until I was small enough to correctly fit in their seats.

["Just Jess"]

Saw this and thought you:

:woot: :whoo:

"go shellster, it's your birthday.. it's your birthday!"


Well, I've done the intro thing on the NC forum, but thought maybe I should formally do it here. I'm Shelley: 36 years old - married - mother of 4-year old Alex I have a full time job in banking....or what I like to refer to as how I pass my time until I win the lottery.

I feel like I've formally started my band journey this week. Before now, I was just stalking around the site in stealth mode:spy:...soaking up all of the group's tidbits and info, but I've started posting and stuff now, so no better time than the present! I attended the lap band seminar on Monday night (Dr. Voellinger/South East Bariatrics, Charlotte - NC). I've got some appointments lined up for that good ole' pre-op stuff. (nutritionist -
psychologist/fitness evals) I feel like I'm making some progress.
:humble:Go me...it's my birthday - well, actually my birthday's in October, but you get the idea.


I have my formative fat memories that I won't bore you all with - well, maybe one. My very favorite is shopping with my grandmother in an upscale department store. I never knew the word 'husky' could echo like that...believe me - something you never forget. I've had issues with weight for 30 years. I don't know that I ever remember not having some stigma around my size. I've tried every diet. Nothing has worked long term for me...I need something to help me with portion control. I think the band is going to be that something.

Anyways...somethings you should know about me...I see humor in almost everything and I don't take myself too seriously.

Hopefully, I'll be banded by early next year. Everyone cross your fingers! :Dancing_laugh:

["Just Jess"]

Well, my boyfriend ONLY flies Delta - he is an extremely loyal person!
And I've yet to ask for a seatbelt extension... (imagine that at 310 lbs.) I shimmy it down below my "belly" and squeeze it shut. Vinny gets so angry with me - saying "just ask for one already - who cares! no one will even notice" but it is a pride thing... and regarding the meal tray....... LORD, do I empathise! I use Vin's when we fly together - but when I'm flying solo... I get a bottle of water and only eat portable things!

<sigh>


I agree that Delta must have the smallest seats. At 265 I JUST and I do mean JUST fit in their seat belts without having to have an extender. That was in June, and that was my Guatemala trip.

On the way home I was lucky (sense the sarcasm in my "voice") enough to have the exit seat, and endured extreme embarrassment when my "special" in the armrest lunch tray wouldn't fit over my big belly. I sat there and ate in embarrassement while my traveling companion didn't say much, probably out of embarrassment for me.

That day I vowed to never fly again until I was small enough to correctly fit in their seats.

[503-250]

I can't use the tray in front of my seat or out of the armrest, basically I just hope for someone skinny and make their life miserable, it's payback for all the times they've made me feel bad.

As far as the airline seat goes, I am home a week now and just finally had it surgically removed from my asscheeks.


My wife was hysterical laughing when we flew to Hawaii for our honeymoon, between NY and CA the flight attendant starts with the whole seat cushion as a flotation device.

I wasn't going to say a word, but then the bitch with the kerchief comes over and says to me, "clearly you will need a seatbelt extender". Now, I'm not shocked that i'm fat, or that people know, but I really don't require the attitude.

So I turn to her and say, yeah...before you run off, I have a question about the seat cushion/flotation device...since we are flying over land the entire time if something should go wrong, when I grab the flotation device, do I just hope on the way down we hit a f&*kin pool?

She sat there stunned for a sec and I said...how bout you grab that extender while you're thinking about it.

[Shellster]

I will say that Continental has the roomiest baby seat of them all. I didn't need a seatbelt extension and even though it was 16 hours....it was somewhat comfortable. Okay - now let's really get to the business - trying to go potty on an airplane when you're clearly a body type that requires...let's just say ample cheek room. Hello! Do they really think you can get in that 1 x 2 space and get that accordian door closed - PLEEZ! :crazy:I was just praying that I'd make it out of there in one piece.

[503-250]

My problem on the airplane with the toilet wasn't getting in, or getting the door closed, or even using thed facilities. I am 6'3" and 440 or so on that flight. I lost alot of weight lately and all my clothes are loose, so I pulled the sweats down a little to let out Lil Elvis and they dropped to the floor with the boxers. I actually thought I might need to open the door to get them up. I'm sure the nice folks in 12a, b and c would have loved my shining white ass in their faces.

My thought at this moment was also akward...I thought...how in the hell do two people get in here to have sex, how could they have sex, and who would want to have sex in this skanky disgusting tiny room?

[Shellster]

The whole 'mile high club' thing is got to be an urban legend. I mean...clearly two people can't fit in that skanky disgusting tiny room. (as you put it ) When I saw the guy get up 10 minutes into our flight and take a newspaper with him - I was like GREAT. This is just GREAT. I would think sex in that same area would be out for most people at that point...

["Just Jess"]

hahahaha... LOVE IT! LOVE IT! LOVE IT!

I agree completely - the mile high club is a myth and/or for disgusting people with some sort of deviancy! And I hear you, God help me if I dropped something and needed to bend over to get it - I don't think that would work at all! Sooooooooo, that was quite a feat, 503! Congrats! :clap2:

Night all! ;)

[Stitchy]

I was a flight attendant (stewardess back in the dark ages) and I never saw two people go into the toilet together. They were skanky little rooms back then, too. :wacko:

But, I'm pretty sure about the Mile High Club, though. Usually on night flights, under cover of darkness and blankets.

[Goannabanda]

Hi Shellster, welcome to the family. Sounds like you're going to fit in here like a hand into a glove. Good luck on your journey!

[Shellster]

Thanks again to all for making me feel welcome. Feels like home already....

I re-read everything this morning and got my 'chuckle on' again for today.


Thanks to all! :dance:

Shell

[PhotoNut]

Just popping in to say Hello :wave: and to give Shell a big b2g Welcome! Glad to have you aboard, Shell! Love your sense of humor. :)

You're in a primo spot! NC has one of THE best group of bandsters around. They adopted me a while back and I even flew back there and had dinner with them in September. Can't wait to do that again! Anyway, stay close to those gals. They are awesome and have a lot of fun together.