Challenge

[Katiegirl]

This was such a challenging day for me.. I've said this before on here, but my family is in no way supportive of me having the surgery (they are all thin).. I've pretty had to do this whole thing on my own, which is not bad, but its hard to not have the support to even talk about it.. tonight stuff hit the fan because I had to talk with my mom about the surgery day.. which I scheduled later in the day so she would not have to miss work (shes a teacher).. I really don't want this to inconvenience anyone elses life.. my mom just let me have it.. she told me that I am addicted to food and when this doesn't work I'm just going to turn to another surgery.. my heart feels so broken... I honestly feel so down, because somewhere inside me I feel like she is right.. I probably can't do this..

[LabeledTAB]

You can do this, and just because family isn't supportive is more reason for you to make the band work for you. This surgery is for you and so you can become healthy and live longer and if your family doesn't support that this site will. Thin people never seem to understand the reason for this surgery, I was just banded recently and have lost 15 pounds all together and feel great. I did this for myself but also so I could be here for my family, I think your doing a great thing. Don't let you family make you have doubts. Your making a good choice for YOU!!

[Dana]

This was so sad to read and I'm sorry your family is not understanding.

My step dad feels the same way as your family. He has a super high metabolism and hasn't gained a pound since I was 4! They have no idea what it's like and it's so frustrating. It's not like you WANT to be overweight and unhealthy...

On the other hand my mom is a little too supportive. She has been trying make me lose weight since about when I was in the 5th grade. She was completely ecstatic when she found out I was interested in the lap band. It was like NOW I'll be a daughter she can be proud of. It can be hurtful when family is too supportive too...

Either way you know whats right for you, no one else. you know what you need to do accomplish your goals.

Do you have a friend or a different family member who can be there for you on the day of your surgery? It's a big day and you should have people there to lift you up, not bring you down...

[MommaStone]

I agree with Dana, if you have a friend you is supportive, I'd ask him/her to take you.

You can do this. This surgery is helpful for those of us who need help. I would say that most of us do have an addiction to food but this tool is proven to be a helpful treatment.

Lastly, as already stated, do this for you and remember, YOU deserve it.

We will be your support.

[Katiegirl]

I appreciate it guys.. I had nightmares about the whole thing! Its hard to realize your family is already thinking you are going to fail before you start.. I almost didn't want to say anything to them at all ,but I live with my mom (full time student) and there would be no way to hide it.. My boyfriend's offered to come and get me but my mom insists she be the one because I'm here daughter.. I just know if I'm in pain or anything I can't say anything because "I did this to myself".. so frustrating.. I was looking so forward to Wednesday.. now I don't even know what I feelt

[Neal R.]

Sorry you're having to deal with this. Those that have never been overweight, can never undestand how hard it is to loose. Your mom is probably right that you have a food addiction. Most of us do. But you can't just abstain from food, like you can from drugs or alcohol. We are always going to be in a position where we are tempted by food. Getting the band will definately help in our situations. Hang in there. Just use this as motivation to prove them wrong.

[bunnygirl6969]

You can do this try to keep a positive attitude. If you cant find support at home then try a support group or like your doing on this site, it is very good everybody here is very supportive and wants the best for everyone. Stay positive and you will show them all !!!! Good luck

[Katiegirl]

Thank you!

[Ready2succeed]

I'm sorry you are having to deal with this added stress. It is very hard when loved ones aren't on board with you. But think of it as an added challenge to prove to them this band will work for you. Hopefully as they see the changes they will get happy for you. Hang in there!

[JayCee]

I had similar reactions from some of my family members. My daughter said I could do this weight loss thing on my own and I didn't need to have this surgery. My mom was afraid that I was having "surgery" and that is what she was concerned about. BUT! After losing 49 lbs my daughter sees that this has been good for me and she can tell that I am happier and that I feel better. I am changing sizes and my labs have improved. I am feeling great and I am happy. That is what is the most important thing to me! My daughter recognizes this and sees me happy so she has finally come around to understanding how important this has been to me. So stay strong, don't let others decide for you. You can do this with support from others and from those on this site. Do this for yourself! You can do this!
Jan

[nightnurse]

Tell your mother she doesn't get the privledge to pick you up from the hospital unless she can be postive and supportive. Surround yourself with people who understand and support you!!! People who never had to face obesity just don't understand and i don't think they ever will. This makes me so sad to read. If you were addicted to any other vice in the universe she'd be all for you getting all the help u can. U can come live with me!!!!

[Lorabelle]

Don't let others affect you. Some people did not agree with my surgery and some did. My mom was one who did not....up until after my recent surgery in December. She is my biggest supporter now. I think she sees that I am happier. She has jumped on the bandwagon to lose weight. I think mothers worry about the small percentage of something happening. Just move forward for yourself and try not to worry what others think.

[Katiegirl]

Thank you for all the advice everyone.. its still hard.. really fighting depression right now..

[art]

Well Katiegirl now you have to make a decision.Either you get the surgery or let others run your life for you and you stay the way you are. For me, I had to do the same thing. My family tried to talk me out of it but I had support from my wife and the doctors and nurses from my team. I really think my family was more afraid of my having surgery than my trying to lose weight. The closer I got to my surgery date the more my family came over to my side. The only problem I have now is that since I told everyone that I was doing this now they are always asking me how much I lost. Since I am at a plateau right now they all seem to think I am a failure again. I don't know how we can ever win over the naysayers. Good luck with your choice and I'm sure whatever you pick it will be the best for you. Just make sure you leave everyone else out of your decision. This is for you not anyone else.
Good luck, Art

[Rini]

Some people will just never understand because they have never walked in your shoes. People who never struggled to lose weight also cannot understand how the body worked bc they have never done the research or its never been their priority to understand. Art i'm sorry you think that they think you are a failure but know that you are NOT a failure. Getting to goal is a process that takes time and must run its course. I hope you don't let them distract you from your mission. Katie you have support here from us. We will be with you no matter what!

[JoyceGA]

My sister was a size 2 and brother was a size 29 for decades. Both had high metabolisms and ate like horse. I had a low metabolism and can gain by smelling food. Challenge, I understand your pain.

Of course, on the bright side, mid-life weight gain is kicking my siblings to the ground. Brother is pushing 400 and sister is now a size 16. I just love karma!! Plus, by doing the battle with weight all my life, I am in a better place mentally to lose now.

Challenge, like me, you NEED to distance yourself from family and enablers in your life. Food is an addiction. Surround yourself with those who create a positive vibe and support your journey. B2G is great for THIS!!!

Joyce

[MoOrLess]

All of us are here for YOU! Yes, you are reading it right. That's why this forum is here, for all of us to have someone to turn to. No matter who has or has not supported our WLS, somewhere down the road we all have to deal with negative attitudes and comments. Just know you are embraced by every single member of B2G and we DO understand what you are going through.

The day OF surgery my daughter sat in my room as I recovered. When I groaned from some horrible gas pains, she responded, well you chose to do this to yourself. I didnt' respond but I was deeply hurt.

3 years later - she went with me to a different office than my normal one when I needed an adjustment. It took a while, the nurse didn't know my port area, and so my daughter had plenty of time to look around that waiting room. On the way home she said thank you Mom. I said for what? For not letting yourself get to such a bad place and so overweight that even the surgery might not have helped you enough. It was at that moment that I knew she understood and that I had the surgery to be healthy!

So even though you don't feel everyone's support yet - you will, in the most surprising places and from the most unexpected people. Hang in there - we're excited for you. WE are all successful bandsters - you will be too!

Come and join a GROUP (Community/Group up at the top of the page) and exercise and find a weight loss challenge on the boards. It's a great way to be accountable AND get support!