How do we sabotage? Let me count the ways...

[BAND-of-HOPE]

Ok...last night was to be my first ZUMBA class. (AKA exercist :pound:Remember Fish's post?)

So...I learn it's advisable to have shoes other than regular sports sneakers, so online I go to try to find out what a Zuma shoe should be. But, need to find locall, in time to get to Zumba. $60.00 - $120.00 ARE YOU KIDDING ME? I'm also super cheap! So...after spending over an hour finally deciding that I was going to spend from $50 -70.00 for a pair of shoes, it was close to time to go to Zumba. - Oh, and did I say I haven't gotten the shoes yet?

After downloading the waiver form, and seeing what I would be signing off on, I started thinking, well, maybe I shouldn't do such strenous exercise in my 6th week. Maybe I'm supposed to wait until AFTER 6 weeks. Plus, I had a fill this week. So maybe I should postpone it just a bit.

After wasting time (looking for shoes) and talking myself out of physically being ready for such a workout, I ended up cancelling my RSVP and not going.

But behind the lies I tell myself, is that I am horribly, horribly, horribly, phobic - yes, actually phobic, about not being able to dance and move, and the fact I miss steps and feel like a klutz.

I can, and have several times, jump out of a plane. I can dive in a current, at 125' through a cave, no problem. I can jump off cliffs 80' to the water. I can drive cross country on my motorcycle. BUT, I CANNOT FACE MYSELF when it comes to dance. And, of late, going into any gym. :faint:I went into panic attacks, spastic breathing and finally admitting to myself that I was lying. It wasn't due to not having the right shoes, or my recent fill (well, maybe a little bit that), but it was a ploy of sabotage.

How do you 'break through' when you face something that makes you want to hide, sabotage? If I could take my head off and leave it at home, or have a frontal labotomy, I could do this. But, short of that, do you have obstacles (whatver they might be) that make you cave in? What works when you face your obstacle, to help you 'break through'?
Any words of advice for me? :sad: Thank you!

[Jachut]

Well, why on earth would you put yourself through that? Choose something that you're confident doing!

You might be ready for Zumba later, when you've lost weight and even if you're still a klutz - losing weight certainly hasnt made me able to dance, lol - you'll have the self confidence to have a go then.

Until then, you're fighting a losing battle if you have to have this internal dialogue with yourself every time. Exercise should be fun and it isnt if you're that worried about it.

[BAND-of-HOPE]

Ok...the truth? I'm afraid to even go power walking outside in public, or to the gym here, if people are there.
My need is to break through my phobia - get over it.
I kind of relate to your comment 'why on earth would you put yourself through that'. ----- That's the problem. I have avoided those things I'm not confident in doing. So, that's not working so well for me. ">)

And, I'm not looking for the ability to dance - so I might have used the wrong example or explaining it incorrectly. I am supposed to be getting ready for my company Christmas party and leave in 2 hours. I'm hyperventiallating on that too. Wishing I could cancel.
My need is to "overcome" phobias I have of late (since my son died) and reclaim and be more of myself again. To actually get to a place where I can feel like 'ahhh...I'm here...AND I'm ok'.
I wasn't being light when I used the word phobia. I've just come out of complete agoraphbia and working on re-entering life. ---- Gaining and keeping weight is another thing that can manifest my avoidance. It's time for me to step through, not around. ---- Any ideas of how to step through?

[MommaStone]

First, do you mind sharing your first name? Makes response more personable. First, I think you've taken a big step in that you've shared your struggle here with us. I would encourage you to find the least threatening thing. Maybe just starting out walking to the end of your block, then around the block. When you feel up to it, an all women's place like curves or some other gyms might be better.

Do you have resources (insurance) to work with a counselor? If not, is there someone who can fill that role (minister, good friend, etc?) Although I think a professional might be very helpful in assisting you in working through these things.

Lastly, please continue to come here; we'll do our best to encourage and listen

[503-250]

Obviously there is no single post which can cure any ill, but I do understand your fear directly. I am nauseated at the thought of me dancing. This is not to say I don't dance...put on Frank Sinatra or Dean Martin and I begin to immediately sway back and forth...but anyone can drop into 7th grade standard, clutch and rock back and forth.

However, a fast song comes on and the immediate need to get far from the dance floor literally puts me in sweats.

Now, how to break that gripping fear?
Well...like you i'm not afraid of many things. I'm in a warzone, I've gone bunjee jumping (I plan to jump from a perfectly good plane very soon), I never did understand how someone could be afraid of a bug or a spider...hell, you can crush them with your thumb...what's the fear?

I'm positive there are plenty of people sitting here wondering what the hell we are afraid of in regards to dancing.

When I worked for a hotel in NYC I was terrified of heights, to conquer that fear I went to the top floor of the hotel and quite literally climbed up onto a 3 foot high ledge inches from 40 something floors from the pavement. The reason? It pissed me off that being high off the ground bothered me. I am afraid to fly, I don't mean in relation to being on the ledge, I mean in airplanes (this is a new phobia we're talking about now).

I fly every few days here in Afghanistan...choppers, airplanes, some weird combination of the two called an Osprey. I fly because it is my job, because people depend on me and because I will not let a stupid fear of smashing into the ground at hundreds of miles an hour from thousands of feet in the air because the gigantic metal device I am flying in is definitely not aerodynamic, can't fly without tons of propulsion and most importantly is maintained and repaired by tired people. Oh wait...did I leave out that local crazy people with guns, rockets and RPGs seem to want to shoot things out of the air for fun.

Why have I bored you with these fun and interesting stories about my fantastic life?
Because they have a theme...
The way we conquer the things we fear is to face them directly, spit in their face and smack em on the ass as we push them out the door.

I might point out at this moment...I didn't say in any part of this that it would be easy.
I will add that Zumba is about you, if someone else doesn't like how you dance...well...pardon my french, but F*ck'em. See my other lengthy rant about airline rules regarding oxygen mask placement.

[StrangeDz]

I will add that Zumba is about you, if someone else doesn't like how you dance...well...pardon my french, but F*ck'em.

:clapsmiley: